Theo Verelst Diary Page

Latest: 1 december 2000

I've decided after good example to write some diary pages with toughts and events.

Oh, in case anybody fails to understand, I'd like to remind them that these pages are copyrighted, and that everything found here may not be redistributed in any other way then over this direct link without my prior consent. That includes familiy, christianity, and othercheats. The simple reason is that it may well by that some people have been ill informed because they've spread illegal 'copies' of mymaterials even with modifications. Apart from my moral judgement, that is illegal, and will be treated as such by me. Make as many references to these pages as you like, make hardcopies, but only of the whole page, including the html-references, and without changing a iota or tittel...

And if not? I won't hesitate to use legal means to correct wrong that may be done otherwise. And I am serious. I usually am. I'm not sure I could get 'attempt to grave emotional assault' out of it, but infrigement on copyright rules is serious enough. And Jesus called upon us to respect the authorities of state, so christians would of course never do such a thing. Lying, imagine that.

Previous Diary Entries

Dec 1, 2000

Some thought I can't directly give final place somehow in the world or in thinking space, but there're relevant, and probably that holds for others too, so I'll trow in my whatever its worth.

To stay down to earth, some explanations about what I've been building and experimenting with.

Considering I've taken my faith serious, it is not irrelevant to occupy myself with the 'christian' side of life, for which I hardly find place at all the way I would find appropriate over the whole of things, but then again, at least in this part of the world one can, even openly, claim to have certain beliefs and express their essence, and even, within broad enough legal bounds, live accordingly. Life as I've observed and been in probably has a lot of 'spiritual' side to it, but not much seems to work even remotely reasonable in all areas where I can probe, including media. What has solid biblical teaching to say about this, is that reasonable, can that work, who gives a sh*?

In short I've learned quite some time ago, and did aree with it, that natural man (woman) is degenerated, and out of direct spiritual contact with God, unless he regenerates a person, and makes it possible for the holy spirit to be invited to live in such a person, exhibit spiritual gifts, etc. That regeneration isn't something by the will of man, but by the will of the one (God the holy spirit) causing it, and makes a new person, see for instance the letter to the Romans. When a person is lucky enough (in that way) to have recieved Christ's salvation that makes it possible to start understanding and living in this new life, and the fruits, apart from the possibility of spiritual gifts for revelation, exhortation, healing, comfort, should be visible in the sense that that person is created good, holy, etc. That is a 'christian' that lives according to GOds will and is knowledgeable about the new life and discerns what the (real) Holy Spirit wants should be visibly acceptable, and not some kind of cheat, greedy, living for unjust purposes, etc.

Of course this could raise opposition and even oppression, but it should not be so that people that claim positions because they're supposedly 'christian' have lives that are clearly not about something good. The claiming of a position in Gods plan (supposing there is one, and that we can find out about it) is definately very different in nature from a position in some kind of system. It has to do with a person with God given characteristics, not with a tag or a placeholder in a logical constellation.

Considering it is new testament doctrine that the 'righteous shall live by faith', and that trust (another way of translating the greek 'pistos') is the essence of believers lifes, trustworthyness, and contrary to that, all ways to mess up and abuse trust are important issues of life. It is not nothing to claim that the almighty God a) exists b) occupies himself with this earth and its inhabitants, and c) that someone claims to act on His behalf. Probably the abundance of religions indicates quite some people find it advantageous to claim a place in all this, or, conversely, have needs they hope to be quenced in one way or another.

Sheer numbers and outward things don't necessarily mean anything is this context: the catholic system, the moslims, the bagwan, and others all claim positions in this world and without any doubt constitute a power facter and an identity in this world, as does the US or the european union, but that proves nothing concerning their spiritual and/or super natural (i.e. out of the normal) value.

The jews thousands of years ago were remarkable because they believed in on holy God that promised them a good land and gave them rules to live blessed lives. After it became clear that they too were naturally born not capable of living up to that Gods standard, and he punished by making them all to aware of the misery of fake (babylonian) belief systems, he send his own son to solve that problem. That person, assuming he realy lived, which historically is hard to miss, was not about building another victorious religeous system. In fact he was quite against some clearly very corrupted systems and their perverted doctrines. Yet he cannot be taken for unpowerfull, uninfuential, or uneffective. The people he met, tought, and later sent into the world (at least some of them), didn't have a system. They certainly occupied themself with rules of life c.q. doctrine, and certainly were a major social factor, but not a system.

And they didn't seem to be persecuted because they weren't decent, robbers, liars, cheats, power or money greedy, or other reasons to dislike people, but because they were against evil, and didn't want to live in evil ways, and make people probably uneasy about their own lies and lack of methods to blackmail those 'christians'. Then again the book of Acts does not record that these new persons were disliked or disrespected or in general not desirable. All this quite contrary to well known religeous systems which are clearly known to be evil, corrupted, completely unneeded for good enough living, and definately dishonest.

Now what about the spiritual, as in the body the soul/heart and the spirit. Biblical teaching clearly is that without Gods act to give a person a new hart (quote), spiritual contact with him is impossible, meaning that by nature man is dead from god. Of course there are deamons (spiritual entities) enough, and probably families and persons to to claim (in spiritual sense) that they are actually God, but that is not so. After much observation I'm quite certain that there very many people who have followed damnable doctrines (qoute) that are in a strong lie (quote) concerning their spiritual life. (The quotes shouls be easy enough to find in some web bible with search tool, see my 'links' pages for some examples)

I'm not claiming to know all things in this area, in fact regularly I'm at a loss as to what the holy spirit wants, which I dislike, and at times makes me want to seriously test who he is. But if I look around and test what I've been doing I'm at least sure I'm not going to follow some spiritual truth or deamon or whatever that clearly isn't holy, or isn't honest, or generally not acceptable somehow. And it seems to me that quite some people have spiritual links which are for me 100 percent certain not the holy spirit, while they seem to give all that considerable place in their lives.

It is my strong opinion that when a spirit is a deamon it is for certain never worth listening to / living with / accepting, thats always going to be a source of misery. And messing with the spiritual with people involved that are clearly doing this or so dishonest and evil that they're not going to have your well being in mind seems also quite undesirable, unless you yourself are willing to play spiritual 'games', which than at least is clearly not christs' way, and in my opinion not worth dealing with in another way then wanting to expose what it is all about, that game, because somehow I wouldn't belief its going to be good to put evil things together and let them influence my life. Not good idea, if I have the choice.

Is the spiritual important? When it concerns God, it is currently the only way in which he reveals himself, except from written sources: Jesus isn't physically around, and God is spirit, he sent his son in the flesh, but he himself is spirit (quote), and holy, it wouldn't be possible for unholy persons to see him or even be in touch with him without his son.

Assuming that in man the spirit is there to communicate and thus have directive and personal effects, and has to do with a persons inner being, it is at least relevant. When other people are so often evil (e.g. romans), and outside the holy god there are only deamons, the spritual is at least a possible source of a lot of misery, as is any other form of contact with evil. Considering that God did reveal his truth: he calls his son (christ) the truth, and that through christ people can be restored to contact with him, and that he also gives spiritual gifts to make utterances possibly audible/noticable for the whole world, 'real christians' that are reliable do have a responsability to be trustworthy, and to make use of what they have, also for the benfit of others. Without any question in my mind such a position has been so desirable in the past that the though alone and the existance of such christians spawned lots and lots of activities that where aimed at claiming the same position. Peter informed us before that happened that salvation will be treasurously offered by 'many anti-christs that will come into the world' (qoute).

Now lets assme that the spiritual is kind of ill-defined, subject to sin and evil, and a relevant factor in the world system, what does that mean? That God sometimes lets people drop dead (literally) when they try to bring in lies into a communion which he saves from being corrupted? That he warns that certain doctrines will wither like the cancer and therefore be known to (also spiritually) bring damnation instead of blessing? Certainly. Also that it is important for anyone in general to test what the spiritual they are directly or indirectly in touch with is worth, and to want to find freedom from evil spiritual links/bonds instead of believing that the babylonical sacrifice system in the end is going to do them any good at all. Exposure of evil, discernment, battling even and breaking bariers, and causing binding of evil are all biblical spiritual acting, as are praying for damnation and even giving over to the satan of evil persons.

There supposedly are evil people (like the sorcerers in acts, as well as the synagoge of the jews that actually is/was the synagoge of the devil), and evil spirits, small and bigger, such as the authorities (some seem to be related to geographical places, such as countries) and principals in the heavenly (see Ephesians), that are quite real and definately only evil. The bible also speaks of spiritual buildings, assuming that people togehter share a certain spiritual life, they are also factors in that, even when christ and the holy spirit are the givers of that life to start with. Quite certainly, looking at revelation where mainly the different types of christian communities are prophesied about, its all not that good in general, and needs exhortation, correction, and work. Also from this book it is clear that the revelations the holy spirit and in this case it seems Jesus himself gives can be quite detailed and span major time periods.

About demons and their effect we can be short: its always evil, they should be not accepted, and if applicable be cast out.

Now what do people make happen in spirit? What does the 'synagoge of the satan' do in spirit, what do 'deceitfull apostles' and leaders that draw people behind themselves and thieves that try to climb in to the sheeps cage and that sheep normally wouldn't listen to behave like and cause in spiritual sense? What was paul doing when he 'when we are together in prayer... give over this person to the satan as to learn not to blashpheme' (cor.). Why were the scribes called the breed of vipers by Jesus, causing double the hell that people they deal with already had? What's with the way of balam?

Lets see what the fruits of the (holy) spirit should be: peace, goodness, love, wisdom, justice, just to mention some that would come to my mind, check Ephesians. It seems that wrong doctrine opens doors for delusions, evil spirits and liars to take the place of christ and the holy spirit (if that were possible). Doctrine in the sense of ideas, rules for life with effect on peoples life to build them up, correct and encourage them towards good and fruitful life, or to damn them, break the good parts of them or render them useless, to oppress, enslave to evil, to make and support lies (quite some quotes).

Now what about revelations main lessons: after all theres quite some, probably spiritual as well, activity being described between groups of people and in the heavenly. I don't remember all I've learned about the images in past exactly, but it certainly is clear that in the first place God occupies Himself with quite some of the also worldly events with quite clear opinions, exposes the works of deamons and people acting as saviour, oppressor, liar, etc, and that the main images that are presented in that book are of an uglyness and evil character so much that it seems much worth wile not to get entanged or rooted in the spiritual life they represent, such as the image of the beast, the multi-headed beast, the great whore, the false prophet (without any question also currently active as a deamon), the anti-christ (idem in many variations, none of them worth following). In religeous sense the 'great whore' system, accumulating all false religions, and without any question having its seat in Rome, should be warnded for, mainly because it has written on its forehead 'mystery, babylon (mix-up) the great, mother of all whores and abominations of the earth' (revalation). It is portrayed as a great evil, and definately with major physical presence, and the 'mother of all whores' expression is not a nice one.

'get away from her' is the main doctrine here. It otherwise even religeously will suck you in, abuse you, and before you know it delude you with its system of mysteries and sacrifices to deamons (quote). Being ridden as a beast and then destroying her, which probably should primarily be seen as future events during a seven year time period before Christ physically will return to reign on earth, as image for desired behaviour is probably not a good idea, and the ten headed animal as a major building in spirit doesn't sound very apealing either. Suppose that thing should solve a war situation in europe, probably wouldn't work much..

Without thinking to much about 'free spirit' (Hendrix), freedom from oppression, also in spiritual sense, to determine one's own direction in life, preferably in a god-wise revealed ministry (not to be confused with the term being abused for a systematic position), to life at peace and peaceable, and to for instance persue happiness, is biblical doctrine as in desirable commodity in life. Agreed: some people shouldn't be free to implement their evil ideas, but that's not the same as condamning the whole of mankind to some kind of obligatory spiritual slavery. Not that the wannabe rulers of the (spiritual) world satan and its deamons do not cause enough slavery, but it isn't christian doctrine to teach one's listeners such that they'll end up in bondage.

Computers and synthesizers

As indicated on my synth page, the Z80 sys is up and running, being fed with programs from a printer port. Recently I tried sequencing some new sampels I made and found on the web, for instance some well known synth samples (tr303, minimoog, rhodes chroma, dx7 even). I've made a simple sequence program which flashes on of the 16 led displays in turn, and can be programmed by the synth keyboard step time to sound two oscilators for a fixed note period, under control of start/stop/reset/record buttons from the calculator keyboard. Some sequences, or arpeggios, sound good enough to groove: some of my engineered analog simulation samples (generated in gwbasic of all languages) beat the famous synth samples minus the a few minimoog samples, that's an ex eqo.

I've made the digital simulation filter sweep, and change resonance over time, and I've fed it samples with interesting enough spectrum. There some simulated lfo to the cutoff frequency, and I've experimented with various envelope curves. It works best when all is tuned right, definately including the detune of the samples when they are sequenced: even within an octave the detune can best be determined accurately, with exponention and linear offset correctly fitted (I did use formulas, although it would be worth it makinf hand detune facilities oer few notes with simple interpolation).

Anyhow, the bass and solo sounds are nice and strong enough, definately analog i character, don't show too much 'sample fatigue', probably because of the keyboard scaled detune values, and mae me curious for polyphonic real time implementations on a fast DSP, that should make Fairlights and Synclaviers short of yealous. I'm not sure about north leads, I tried two of em some time ago, I think the second version, and they were nice, heavy enough and responsive, without any question. And limited: filter sweeps were audibly limited samples somehow.

What am i implying: competing with these imstruments? Well, taking slightly different angles, I guess. Otherwise there's te physical modeling addition, but I'm quite certain there's quite some untouched upon material in the digital simulation of attractive analog synthesizer sounds. I recently tried the prophet 5 simulator for steinberg's VST plugin system, and was pleasantly surprised having the possibility to just get on the web, download the demos, and actualy have a strong enough prophet sound (minus recording) to play with the mouse. Nice work, though doubtlessly the real thing can perform more, but then again: that module, some distortion, lots of eq, some chorus, touch of reverb... Nice enough to play around with, in other terminology: luckily I wore headphones, though blowing some more speakers up when I can afford them is also not such a bad a hobby with this stuff.

But what about that kicking minimoog, what about Jarre's cs80's, what about heavy oberheims, and ultimately: what about that incredible walter Carlos stuf made DECADES ago. Try that on a korg trinity or something, not that that wouldn't make nice music, and of course it depends on the interactors and the players' skills, but seriously: those analog moog modulars do things I wouldn't try on no sy99 or physical modeling machine either, realy I wouldn't. Other things of course I would with them but seriously, there a lot of stuf a few oscilators with not too complicated surrounding circuitry can do that sonically is not comparable with major recent synthesizers, including the simulations.

I do have more than a few ideas as to why that is. Ever try to record a drum track with an mpeg-izer? Not that thats the same, but thats another technical issue that determines the limites of the possible audio satisfaction, in this case very audible, in the case of general mpeg somewhat less clear. It a good example, because it shows that minor effects in general can musically in certain cases be completely determining for the success or failure.

Some time ago when I had my amp and speaker enclosure handy, I tried out for instance a sampe I made with some linn bass, high hat and snare drum samples, than it is also more than audiophile consideration when 100 real, destortion poor watts drive quality speaker systems to produce those samples in a medium size space. As in that is not thinking how many tenths of a dB is this frequency actually attenuated, and what's the exact overall phase response influencing my stereo image, that is an experience matter that could pops glasses of ones' nose, and sounds refreshing and impact full to most with a little bit of ears on their head.

My point being that it is possible that though certain equipment has certain eneral properties and distortion figures and characteristics that seemingly are tight enough to describe em, musically and sonically the right parameters may not be touched. The mpeg-izer made the first bass drum hit of the sample sound very poor, probably because some compression algorithm still needed to determine overall volume (or the software just sucked, which wasn't so in general, though), which for a tight and kicking sound was completely desastrous.

A two oscilator synthesizer with 4 pole filter is a clear enough general description but it doesn't describe the sampling artifacts, the update rate of pitch and cutoff frequency, te number of bits in the resonance circuit (let alone wether it is some lame fir filter) the possible cross coupling of the oscilators, the ability to trigger the oscilators by playing such that their phase behaviour becomes pleasing, wether the mixer/filter is non-linear, and other factors, such as (supply) line coupling affecting long term phase relations. The audio-wise result is clearly different though, when such effects are taken ito account, and especially when patches simply require certain behaviour, such as real iir filter simulation, and (sub-) sample fast updates of control signals. Not even to mention sample theory: EVERY sampled signal is subject to theoretical sampling rules. Ruthlessly. One of them being that to reconstruct a signal from discrete sample values requires quite lengthy sinc-function computations, unless one realy knows what one is doing in all transform domains, and those computations do not easily run accurately on any modern dsp for lets say high volume 10kHz signal bursts in 44k1 Hz samples. Ask electrical engineers that learned their stuff. Wonderfull, those fm synthesis cross modulation products in dx7's isn't it... And in fact they sample at higher rates, and are probably quite designed to make the interacting sines not all to unhappy.

The former without question are direct reasons why most of the digital simulations in programs I've heard over quite some time are to say the least limiting and very un-challanging, mostly dull, minus when some work is done. After using 3 oscilators, accurately tuning filter settings with lots of modulation, some effects and chorusing, I've made some nice enough analog sounding samples, but there's no way to arrive at some of the heaviness even available in 20KHz sample rate and 8 bit converted 4(!) kB samples of a minimoog in my current Z80 player. No comparison.

Doing my analog and recently digital simulation experiments make me confident that I'm quite on right track of making good use of this knowledge, and its certainly effective even for untrained ears to make instruments which incorporate some more knowledge on for instance the reasons WHY certain analog instruments could be programmed to make strong and beautifull sounds.

Dec 3, 2000

Quite some 'spiritual' stuff on the above page, there's more to it, I've considered putting some study materials, maybe on seperate pages, and I'm myself interested also in further understanding of the nowadays headline and major news value of the book of revelation, because a lot of makes only sense if I give it major weight, and see it as I think I should: to the point, no drama, clear, no fuzzy imagery, and considering the lenght and scope and target time and events, quite relevant.

Asterix and the New York Book Review magazine

When I'm waiting or generally looking for some relaxing and fun reading, I sometimes pick up french (the original language) of the cartoon book serie 'Asterix and Obelix'. Good for my french, I'm at the level where I mainly fleuntly read about 80-90 percent or so, and I find it entertaining through absolutely hilarious at times.

The less recreational, usefull side to this art form is obviously that it speak about society and it problems c.q. suggestions to not mess it up to much, and on the literary/philosofical and maybe psychological level I think it is quite to the point in contemporary life. The fact that there are persons involved that display the social spectum from free city-type civilians, partly coinciding with village people, to a bureaucratic system which at least for real rules the world AND is defeated by itself shows more life and interest then often can be found. Is life in the small village in Bretange actually acceptable? 'Quand le ciel no tombe pas a la tete?'. Is that because they abuse the roman system?

The New York Book Review was regular reading for many years ago mainly because I had literary and related interest., in short what makes the world tick, in ways not so obvious in everyday working life. Apart from a lot of articles that easily would make me write about their subjects, I read an article in the November issue on Jeffersons re-election during the civil-war, and the 'rules' and methods that were used during the final phases, starting round the time Atlanta was defeated. Suppose there is an ideal strong enough to make such a war happen, than it is still very hard to grasp the idea of deaing with the lives of 10's of thousands of men, the destruction of a country/system (conferation), wrecking their riches, and putting your own lofe at risk for a long and uncertain time, with not so much to assure you of final victory.

Suppose during Jeffersons reelection period the votes would have been unclear...

Another one to top it of: Would they actually send revote-trial images to the space lab?

Java, IDL, Corba, SQL

What am I doing, hobby stuff while I'm in job application stuff? In fact I've been doin some reading in Java-land. Jave itself I've experience with, I lately stumbled on the sources of my 'network applet' in currently readable form, I'll probably look at it and put in up. I'd not looked at for instance Java-IDL, and recently I've read into this interface design language idea under Sun Microsystems-originating 'Corba', a standard for making interoperative object-oriented languages, in case of Java-IDL a standardized way to make distributed objects in an organized manner.

Basically, it relates the name spaces of objects/variables over an interface defintion which is standardized in Corba, allowing java objects to communicate (when desired also with other languages interfaced with Corba such a C, C++ or Tcl), and to make distributed object-oriented programs into a formally defined whole.

The interface definition, hence Java-IDL (Interface Defintion Language), occupies itself with presenting a database of which is defined in corba for parameter maintenance, which is interfaced over standard naming conventions and methods to java applets/programs. Basically, variables are read and updated by methods made available to inteface with corba, and the interacting java applets have object names that are related through conventions.

Quite readable stuff, though in IDL there are a few conventions, especially in naming domain, that can be ambiguous, i.e. it is not completely formally closing, it requires a programmer to think about the name (domain) conversions.

I was reminded why it was again that at some point I was installing various JDK's (at least 1.0/1.1) under windows 98: the first one only allows limited use of sockets, and later on it is possible to connect and serve connections more freely, and zip-ing is built into later ones, too. Should be fun enough to take my 'echo', 'talk' and 'network' application (see together and make data flow according to network connections in readable form.

SQL has not many real secrets anymore, since I picked up a book on it, it seems clear enough to the point of relational behaviour: it would take a little while to get used to the syntax, then web-empbedded SQL should be no problem. The big question being: what does the engine implementing SQL (over some of the interface definitions) actually perform like when an address list is the size of a phone book. I sometime ago tried some unix scipt stuff under Cygnus on moderately modern Dell PC's, that gave me grep behaviour good enough to do extensive searches in interaction time in the mega line-range, while sorting megabyte files was not much of a problem either. Alternatively, I did my own database stuff in Tcl(/tk, I happen to like the language for fundamental and practical reasons), which takes not much effort, and that gives me databases with realtime behaviour including associateveness of any kind at least into the 10 thousands records range, for an in-core database. The stuff SQL does is maybe not child-play, but definately by-and-large quite straightforward and not much work to achieve with tcl.

There are some pictures of the tcl/tk database on my site, a recent highlight page link points to some screendumps.