I've decided after good example to write some diary pages with toughts and events.
Oh, in case anybody fails to understand, I'd like to remind them that these pages are copyrighted, and that everything found here may not be redistributed in any other way then over this direct link without my prior consent. That includes family, christianity, and other cheats. The simple reason is that it may well be that some people have been ill informed because they've spread illegal 'copies' of my materials even with modifications. Apart from my moral judgement, that is illegal, and will be treated as such by me. Make as many references to these pages as you like, make hardcopies, but only of the whole page, including the html-references, and without changing a iota or tittel...
And if not? I won't hesitate to use legal means to correct wrong
that may be done otherwise. And I am serious. I usually am. I'm not sure
I could get 'attempt to grave emotional assault' out of it, but infrigement
on copyright rules is serious enough. And Jesus called upon us to respect
the authorities of state, so christians would of course never do such a
thing. Lying, imagine that.
Todays subject is not remote from many other subjects I raised already, but I did feel compelled to at least make some thoughts pretty clear.
I couldn't help thinking that it would even serve to give a quite good idea about the workings of shared libraries, and even the generally ununderstood or known advanced issues such as reentrant functions, and dynamical linking, which are issues at stake in modern operating systems, by oh my oh my, what a lets say possible complicating layers and software barriers around in itself quite usefull concepts.
Maybe I'll make a seperate page on the subject, just out of lets say discontentment in theoretical in fundamental informatics direction or so, being convinced reason will rule a lot better than believing the fast lying guys would impress me so much with their knowledge and skills that I'd never make anything in computers ever again, or whatever, because I don't have any such fears, except that I do realize there are people who want power based on maybe achievements, maybe claims, maybe vision, or what is called such, in the area.
And considering the importance of the subject in various ways, I think I'd decide to be pissed with various discontentments I have, though I was looking over windows 2000, and at least found some sanity back, not so much because I recognize dns and feel flattered in my knowledge of the wherabouts of computer history and their normal enough reasons, but because at least after 15 years or so things are called by their original names.
And having linux available for free and decent enough (I guess, I don't think I can try it much pooring in on a theoretically 80 MB hardisc using a few floppies) is good, and it being popular enough in volumes even nice enough, so that all is sort of acceptable.
Making java into important business isn't bad either, I guess it won't win efficiency prizes, but a virtual machine with closing definition and fixed multimedia library interface isn't a bad idea. I saw a small version of a java type interface and basic routines is made for small devices, sort of the coffeemachine's java 'insert coin' 'mpeg while you wait, select y/n', which is fun enough.
But how does all this work business wise? And I have been offered a java job at least serious enough (except for longer period than I found now appropriat aiming for), so I'm not so much talking about a very impossible attitude or so, but I cannot help percieve that, as probably isn't unreasonable in business, there are many deals going on in programming land which may make it hard to have a job for some money in it when maybe some are against that idea, maybe because some want to claim to rule that world, maybe a combination of other reasons.
I would like to sit down, find that there are dozens of requests for programmers requests that I could easily fill, and make lets say a for normal life quite considerable day wage doing some production or creative programmer job, and have such arranged in a few days. Not that society necessarily needs to be that way, but if the possibility is there in principle, then why shouldn't I be able to use it? When I did some unix course theaching, I found the wages quite remarkable, of course it takes work and effort to prepare and give courses, but still a few thousand guilders a week is not nothing for many people, and for me also not what I've been used to making, net. Making maybe a hundred an hour, even in dollars will make me professional, boring, travel long, or whatever, considering I need money at the moment, for such wages one is willing to skip professional pride, ideas about what software making should be like, that sort of stuf: someone has a job, one does it, and gets nice amounts of cash, what's the problem?
In a normal world, I guess not much, though most workers may want some security, and employers may hgave different motivations, may want to invest, get quality quarantees, play a certain game maybe even, and worse, may be forced to who knows what by their environment, funders, peers, microsoft (?), customers, and more.
Would a world like that, minus the major presence of all kinds of evil work, or would in the end econonics collapse, the catholics bring us back to neo-feodalism, ultra right be jeleous of the new yuppy incomes, the neon gods demand that anyhow we need to be sacrificed to the baal or moloch or both, or total anarchy be the end of the world as we know it, every baker, farmer and gas station owner end up in the software corner so no real work gets done anymore, or even worse?
How was that again with economics, inflation depends on the real value of things as they are perceived, export balances will need averaging, and the amount of money being effectively used and stimulating economica activities is balanced by the velocity of money flow integrated over all money flows equals the number of financial interactions times their average value, when consumption incomes aren't channeled in some measure to production goods and research we end up with not enough concubines to work the fields, and when the economical good of the environment is too cheap and no other mechanisms keep its use limited, we end up in maybe the second worst thing way after nuclear holocoust, a total drainage of common enrgy sources, chemical and nuclear waste piled up until over our heads, and no more forrests or unpoluted land left, while living in dead cities with a oxigene mask.
In principle, all that can be manageable, I don't think there are too many unovercomable barriers in all this to at least live reasonable well and wealthy, even.
So do we need our workstations, pda's and internet communication sockets to keep us on track of responsible citizenship, or can the fast majority of us waste or enjoy their lives away sitting on their behind or doing some favorite activity without ever needing computers, and how is this in practice?
I guess quite some people like computers enough to at least have a role in their lives, and that many first need a job to live, although a basic income or lets say starting capital in live could make that unneeded, second may like the idea of putting or making something in this world that is nicer or better or who know what else than what it would be like without them it, and of course there are various ternery and further motivations that may lead to organized activities, businesswise and workwise such as social structure, including but not at all limited to excuse-kind, there are political considerations possible, of course wealth distribution and motivation focussing considerations, and the fighting of one or more shared enemies, all beginning of the previous century topics.
I'm sure I'm forgetting subjects, but then again the ideas are not all to alian or hard to deal with, except when they can or may not be uttered or thought about, when for some reason there is no effective or good power to deal with them in practice, or of course when it pointless to consider improvements in a perfect world.
As opportunist denomination pusher or bagwan follower, or for good reasons, one may even consider the preaching of some gospel, hopefully a real one, as a motivation for the creation of work and jobs, and for taking part in such.
Now the rothshield are planning to take over more and more of the world and we would talk about the frizles of maybe improving certain working lives a bit? The industrials team together to make more weapons and more miserable slave oppresion methods, and we want to discuss the size and colour of company emblems? The rich decided to make computers the eternal and near perfect allseeing eyes and we make the production goods for programming almost commongood for even the poor?
Thats an interesting one enough, but lets at least not forget that there are various things we do in life, and that are important parts of our societies fabric that may well have good possible reasons, but may miss the target completely or even have adversive effects.
Including the spiritual, who the hell decided that in a century of nuclear physics, medical development, and world covering media little boys with a devilish leader must appear to clain they must run it all, as an example ?
Maybe final, bottom line question, what does all this have to do with power and the means to get, keep or enforce it, and why would one want and tolerate that.
I think I might decide the world is crazy, I type, while for some reason unknown to me some secret unsolicited alt or control keypress for the second time changed the font on my typing machine, not that that is very remarkable, but it reminds me of workstation many years ago making fun in my life by having windows that talk back when typed to, speaking some operating system language at least powerfull enough to invert the phonebook of a major city in no time by sheer machine diligence and power instead of third party supplied magic or slave labour, and that they could do such and more, such as graphics, also with an appearance according to choice of the user, even stating file sizes or incoming ftp file incorruptness in headline font type.
So many efforts, so many possibilities, and what happens? Maybe that is what some for many years have tried to project back to me, and maybe many get away with the same towards others, because they are simply evil or want or think they need to hide the consequences of evil and unacceptable or death worthy deeds, continuing a life mode that brings them to nothing but power greed and evil intend to corrupt other like they must be themselves or, and probably even inflict harm and perform and live in many great evils simply after their nature or their demons and acclaimed systematic lies' lust.
Putting a mother on the train to auschwitch they may be forced to chose which child is going to maybe be saved in some other seperate destination, and the soldiers enforcing it may have some I don't know what kind of deranged thinking to make that into an interesting type of contact. Sich heil. You may keep your so and so, but of course in the important life choices of your own, personally chosen betrayal for the final solution of all except a few very equal ones to enroll in the wonderfull scorekeeing system of our brand new yet anchient babyon, it will be decided on wether you will after you fight the gladiators and half lose will be fed to the lions, or wether all other very equal brothers decide that the gods have some very elevated job for you as lifetime slave of the ones that wraped your girlfriends so wonderfully miserable, to make sure that at least some lives are worth it while your childrens generation is brought up to do it all even more effective.
Not or something, I was just thinking about various forms of evil and ways to express them that I know at least have historic public validity. I guess claiming jesus against microsoft will maybe make them give the pope a free internet site, but the corrupted rich and childabuser family clans and maffia to uphold it all or want political power in the bookkeeping according to such rules can be imagined at least for historic reason to want to get people out of the way that claim their news to this world is better and founded more powerfully, though maybe we'd first have to make the united nations produce a new japanese emperor to have some act as torches as the final historiclly valid of establishing world dominion before it deteriorates into faggy catholicism.
The sort of thinking that the childabusers should have anything to say at all let alone run my lifes affairs in public offices makes me anfry enough to think about being on purpose such that at least the name of christ will not be used by them, and even not be liked enough to tolerate by them. Though that would be immature and grossly overall ineffective thinking. It does make me aware of the fact that there is judment in various ways in this world indeed from an also mercyfull god that will not let some rule or bring themselves forward in ways that He simply doesn't let them have even though he is not around in physical sense as Jesus was, and that the limitations of wanting good and appraisable things and lives in this world are also set by the boundaries God enforces, without power somehow to get around.
So must we all lead damned, unhuman and unacceptable, maybe self chastening lives, vow a vow of poverty or laymanship, go to a holy war as kamikazes, preach hell and damnation and let others have it. Or make sure our bookkeping of sin scores is at least more damnable than gods? I'm sure He judges at at least 2 perceivable levels: society at nation level, and every person simply for how they live, and when appropriate what the motivations of their hearts realy are, and that even though eternal judgement for saved and unsaved persons is not present in this time and this world, except the fact that we do all die and can show the fruits of our lives, the holy spirit is present in this world to withold evil when He choses, to prophesy as encouragement, rebukal or exposure of evil and evil hearts, to live in the ones that have the priviledge of being found by Christ and who invited the holy spirit to fill them, and to do all kinds of works He chooses.
I'm also sure that in the 'normal' state of affairs, given that sin is in this world and natural man, God and His gifts are needed to keep everything from being, continuing and ending as Romans states: there is not one rightjeous not even one, no one who earnestly searched God, no one that does what is good, all have gone astray. And that it is than the fact that Jesus salvation makes some people different and god shows mercy to many, so there are maybe godo enough and / or usefull people in this world at the level of human existence god has enabled, on top of him having given the sun to shine on everyone, and many things in nature being available to many, as far as that is not mother gaya's job.
Then the natural picking order for the holy things of god is first god, and the son of god also being god and with god, and god the person called the holy spirit present in a sinfull world and living in people he chose for the possibility, and being perceived in various ways by many of not all inhabitants of the world, than a infinite almost distance, then the ones He has enabled to become his adopted sons and daughters in His legal sense, with the promises of His enheritance, and with his life in their new hearts, having a possibility to live according to his law and show fruits of service according to his plan when after free choice they can honour him and fullfill themselves they decide to and have the possibility to grow up as He wants and learn to understand His will.
In life as I percieve it, relativating remarks would be completely natural here, since I don't see much of such things around in active and even acceptable and recogniseably good enough form.
I'm sure there are many that even in His name wrape children, kill and wreck lives, and that many, many will even follow some that claim they are the god given respresentatives of his miserable curse in this world. And that lesser evil ones, or maybe more the colloborating kinds exist in abundance that are nothing but the tares that grow up with the true wheat and end up burned at harvest time, to stick with at least solid enough language from parabels and comparisons.
But that doesn't make me cynical about the possibility of seeing Gods will implemented in a way that is good enough, according to lines that aren't evil or ill-intended, and not even treacherous or misguided. And that than fruits are possible that are worth while and in the mormal sense holy from the evil way s of the world and at least not completely remote from Gods intentions.
Is that an answer to the state of affairs in computer land? Not in general, but I'm very sure that the idea that both God is the giver of a form of life that is worth probably quite something, and that He is almighty and therefore above all evil power systems, depending probably on how far He choses to occupy himself with such issues at a certain point in time, leads to it indeed being both dangerous and deriable to acclaim acting on his behalf or in his name.
Dangerous because implicitly one claims to be seperate and contentwise above every evil regeous or maphiosos system, and because doing so may provoke Gods judgement. Desirable because in the world as it is He is the only true source of the economical goods that may rule maybe correctly or justly, or at least on the basis of devine authority, and certainly because it may be of great advantage in any babylonic system to claim one can be trusted to know and be able to administer the mysteries of the will and powers of divine nature.
Then evidently thing sends with harmageddon, christ implementing old testament law rigourously by killing all wanting to battle god, and brave new world in religeous form has its course for a thousand years under divine supervision, ended by the destruction of the limited lifetime of this world expiring in destruction good enough to never remember it? And move on to places where we can't boldy or at all go now?
I'm certain that gods judgement and laws and merci and grace cannot be excluded from the essence of the above questions
In practice? I guess starting from a contradictory set of assertions, one may according to the formal logic rule modus ridens or something conclude what one wants, but I'm sure it pays to keep in mind who is the good God, and what the sources of evil are, and keep sane in all this.
Than it is of essential value, assuming there indeed is a god and that He does show mercy and makes himelf known, to know his rules and his will, to understand how one may make an acceptable life based on them, and maybe on His more personal involvement, and what in practice is wise and desirable.
Collectively, as far as such questions can be asked and answered without seperation and effectively, first recognition of the problems at hand would have to be decided on, preferable detached enough from political and personal aims, and when it is decided enough what is true, it is probably hard enough to stick with good enough decisions to influence accessible life, and hopefully to turn and reverse evil, publicly or in personal lives.
Individually, the same holds, how can one live with some sanity or sense when there is no truth or anything worth while, or when life is nothing but evil over ones' head? Miserably, for sure, but then at least one can think, maybe pray, certainly observe, and plan as far as freedom permits.
Assuming that trusting the real, holy and good god can get you even persecuted and killed, though not necessarily, while following acclaimed religeous persons can render you misled, abused, sacrificed to all kinds of evil and misery, trying to be such a one quite likely will expose you as liar and most probably will let you fund damnation of the real god, while staying far from religion will leave you in an evil enough world system, what can one do?
At least one may not be given to accepting a damning lie that leads to destruction, hopefully find a way to live in a world system part where some humanness remains and maybe certain riches and good, show or hide oneself of being known for being evil intent when entrusted with to much or the wrong things without starting a religion that needs a lifetime work of oppression and wreckage of others for no purpose of all, and keep power and control lusts bounded not to make a world where one needs to live in oneself all too miserable with no way out.
And software in the land of business? I guess similar reasoning exists, when the whole of softeware activities is claimed by lets say some world wide wannabe dictators, one may feel pissed that that is so, and go against the idea, but then again, thats a matter of image. When little collaborators can't wait to get jobs that makes the ss rule in no time, preparing for the collapse of the internet infrastructure, the giving of authority to the rich freemasons and other secret and highly evil sects, and preparing the ways of with technological efficiency making the know and knownots seperated with world wide coverage of deadly adequate ways to lock roads, doors and moneymachines and god knows what else instead of jsut an evil mother in law, than all sane observers and partakers in the marker need to assume that on top of giving no heed the not irregual freedom spies, more is needed to make some free and worthwhile life happen or continue.
I can't help being of strong impression that the subject of lets say religion in a wide meaning sense cannot be overestimated in all this, of course including the spiritual, and that I find that in general not all too pleasant, unless it concerns relgion that does some good, or can be public and tested and found not too guilty and misleading.
In short I am of the conviction that focussing on content and objectively measurable targets, assets, investment possibilities and even political processes and considerations apart from regular desire for money and power in this desired world corner is the better way, and that much that goes beyond that is immedeately to be considered as potentially evil.
So if some top industrials and scientists sit together, how far can objectiely enough led developments be forplanned and therefore maybe headed in informatics areas?
Decades without question, without effort. I could. No problem. But then again, what software will be desirable by a normal enough market, what developments scientifically or simply development-wise will happen and be seen as desirable can be free enough, even when some professional means and methods may be capable of topping most other activities of in terms of efficiency or power. That, too I consider not realy necessarily a problem, though the amounts of money and power at stake are of course considerable, and probably therefor as well the players in the field.
So may the best athlete win? Maybe, why not, or the funnest sega get the largest playstation market share, or boring or outdated or fancy or unadvanced software development methods for some be the lives of others, what's the problem?
That what could and most likely does go wrong is that various ways that kill sanity and pleasurable life in areas of technological advancement claim uncountered space and cancer up so much sane or acceprable personal, business and contentwise behaviour that the Inspired and Illuminated ones are waiting in short and fast moving lines to make their own little churches to copmuter god so and so work and never be exposed or given up, with them as etercal ruler and honoured and of course rolls royce and involontary whore supplied ones.
That is what may go wrong when insanity, and spiritual shit rules, apart from the ordinary and recogniseable ruling of the likes form old.
What's the conclusion here? I don't know, when I look on the web and in magazines, I luckily see lots of more than fun and good enough going on and being quite available. When I look at jobs and related issues, I don't know exactly, I'm not sure I can discern motivations very well, and I am certain I need a major measurer that influences the observation correction factor.
And a haircut (and some more special shampoo, maybe, new jeans), possibly, though isn't it even army wise at times permitted to not offend the hippies. Nah, its just a money matter.
'A part of the root of all evil is the lust for money' it says in biblical greek. That's quite a strong statement, which maybe should be included in the picture. Why lust for money? To eat and live to start with, evidently. Should be not a problem, normally. To pay for some past expenses, and conversely to get some justice in treatmet after working a long time with no accompanying money flow of relevance.
To buy a new second hand audi 100? Possibly, maybe that and some synthesizers and related stuff include and amount of natural lust. Maybe one this time with at leat 4 liters, 4wd and all kinds of options? Maybe, donno, fun enuogh.
And enough to buy of the maffia to play some major stadions and force some top artists to give me all their talents and become known as real nice, absolutely unapproachable god and eternally great artist that formerly wasn't known because of very important other activities now replaces by a good yacht, lots of excellent food and booze. swimming pools and who knows what else? Well, now we were addressing the subject...
What about that maffia idea showing up all the time. Actually, that was my question. Sure, sure; my mommy is a nice fart that means harm to no one and loved me for very good reasons almost into the nuthouse, and I'm just seeing ghosts that don't exists, and the world is just a wonderfull place teaching me how greater man and not to forget family, villages and unhealty wannabee upper midlle classes' ambitions of a currently by me unprovable furhter nature Do Things in the world, which is of course incredible, completely brand new in concept evidently newer than nazis have ever been and of amazing mysterious depts and incredibleness, approaching divinity and unquestionable new world leading exquisitness.
And untouchable, because the national child abuser gangs all teamed up with the True and Faithfull and Forever Silent Babylonians, to even improve the concept of anchient SS hood, eternal puff daddy leadership for husbands and sons alike, into a maffia that actually defeats itself, so it cannot, absolutely not fail, because everything is in it, and owned by it, given over by it and to it, and therefore it will receive all the riches it has intself even back again, and is the end of all misery in this world. In the end.
We hope. Than everything that is so problematic about life and heredity is solved into a complete and self controlling realy living, see the lights blink and it even speaks, machine that completely controlled completely chaotically responds totally infinite, disgarding and earth and man shattering winning of any question of life there has ever been, being its own answer and even the whole question in itself in the process of receiving all authority it gave to itself becoming so incredible and powerfull no one understands and everyone can automatically rule the whole world after any desire with it.
Hello, knock, knock, have a break?
Oh no, I forgot, there are some that are simply Better, they go unjudged by themselves, others or God, and win everything there is simply by their nature and the Way they Go About life, being able to outbetray the jews, and in the end of course having found the holy grail of wisdom to outsin and outsolve God Himself who will bow in admiration for their incredible pile of gold and slaves, and voluntarily bow is own pyramid for theirs swearing a real and completely down to every part of his heart meant subdual to their incredible being and illumination powers, being so taken by their verility that He may have to plead with them actually being allowed near their incredible little acts of life, let alone the great holy ones no one every may find out about, because someone may become to overpowered as a result.
By a webcam or something.
Thats digression from the software world, no doubt, but I have picked up attitudes against an official electrical engineer with hard to compare proven track record of real kind and experience in lets say computers, not so much in person, but attitude wise, that probably were to teach me that indeed programming a human life is nothing compared to being god in some computer circuit, or something, I don't know exactly yet, but the free extrapolations may teach some how things indeed actually can be when you don't abuse children all to much, isn't it.
Lets see, would it be so that knowing the easier game of making humans tick, in whatever way proves the biggest mamma also is the best computer programmer, or that if one can program computers not at all but thrives on some secret passwords one has quite utterly proven one's capabilities to take very good and active part in some very high, inverted of course, babylonian secret Game, so that one is such a good sinner that every human being will like your stupidity enough to just expose your own evil. Kinda?
Anyhow, seriously, I think I have had attitudes in the past, not necessarily about computers, though certainly not without being founded in simply enough provable qualities, that I don't think where even near enough to realy challenge even the smallest lets say civil servant carreer pusher in the essence of their and my thinking, because I'd simply refuse to step over the line of self indugance or overestimation if I can help it and stick with normal and acceptable enough logic, also positionwise, and lets not forget kafka isn't limited to civil servant circuits, that have made some seriously evil people convinced they'd never show off their sun-gods incredibleness over my back if they would not at least also know how to show forth the complete fullfillment of very possible attitude question by answering it possively without a question of their ability to heil and of course not being affraid to include their superiority over real responsiveness and such an utter contemptible jewish smelling concept of humour for humour sake, and make the laughter into real babylonic laughter for the ones they so cunningly can think to lead in their place in the religeous sacrifice that requires the well meant laughter of ones own destruction, making clear to others the god that is over it all has been properly served.
That was a longer sentence than I planned, but it seems worth it. Anyhow, if I would meet mr gates, who some would outattitude easily, but then again, maybe they indeed are by far the greater Leaders, happening to be in some mediocre enough software job, I'd have no problem making clear that I may have been able even to do multiplies in assemly at the time I was faced with the microsoft basic rom, but that the idea of making a whole language definately advanced my thinking, and I don't think I'd feel the urge to claim to be richer and therefore show forth more attitude.
Maybe not a good comparison, I just thought about me having no problem with someone with enough capabilities, and that that doesn't compell me to have an attitude against it, maybe when I'd feel threatened in my existence, when a market is about deals, and my existence depends on assumed or given authority instead of on normal enough authority and other relations.
Or when a whole life is based on wannabe or background or even explicit variations of nazism, or a religion that makes me need to prove some point a demon actually whispered to someones aching ears at some point. Maybe I shouldn't be all too cynical or even pointing at certain imperfections, but I regularly have perceived things that make very clear to me that at least a lot of evil is involved in also these areas of life, so I think at least I can try to make sense of it.
Anyhow, I have the impression that computers and software can be altars of intended sacrifices that I find at least unacceptable, and in some cases punishable with strong and possibly professionally lethal means. And I'm I think even in principle against the idea of using some angle on things as a spiritual or doctrinewise image that should be taken for more than the actual subjects at hand, I mean being able to install a network card does not make one a better or highly appraisable human being, unless at a computer exam. And in that case still only when the subject is networks.
And if one knows a lot about such subjects? Then one may be elligable for according labels, fix one's neighbours computer system for free, become popular speaker, though that would require additional performance skills, aim for a professors job, proof oneself by industrial succes, such things. But not get treated as local god for having the root password, or keeping the shadow economy of shady software copies aware of the near religeous Holding of the Keys and into the hands of our beloved dungeon master to make every act Recorded and Marked as sacrifice according to the local beast tithe rules.
Maybe you'd like to try your own cult, too. Hell no it doesn't matter which records you play, and you know: the audience likes stupid ones to feel better, so just make sure you do as the great god of african rythms revealed as great truth in ancient and very wise times, and maybe you will actually be able to go not against the great dead leaders of the secret sects with their posthume unsearchably mystical approval, boy.
Maybe all together we'l f* microsoft in the but so hard it will actually produce bulbs on it forehead we can nurture into our own father and children with rome. Which of course makes us and our own incredible idea at least as powerfull, and we will see that that is good, and so will god have to. Shield levels, 50%, sensibility level -inf., steady as she goes, prepare for hyperspace, doc. " hyperspace sends 1 baud signals back after 20 years, captain", good, than we didn't lose that one yet, skip the warp drive, something still works here.