Theo Verelst Diary Page

Tue Mar 27 18:26:51 2001

I've decided after good example to write some diary pages with toughts and events.

Oh, in case anybody fails to understand, I'd like to remind them that these pages are copyrighted, and that everything found here may not be redistributed in any other way then over this direct link without my prior consent. That includes family, christianity, and other cheats. The simple reason is that it may well be that some people have been ill informed because they've spread illegal 'copies' of my materials even with modifications. Apart from my moral judgement, that is illegal, and will be treated as such by me. Make as many references to these pages as you like, make hardcopies, but only of the whole page, including the html-references, and without changing a iota or tittel...

And if not? I won't hesitate to use legal means to correct wrong that may be done otherwise. And I am serious. I usually am. I'm not sure I could get 'attempt to grave emotional assault' out of it, but infrigement on copyright rules is serious enough. And Jesus called upon us to respect the authorities of state, so christians would of course never do such a thing. Lying, imagine that.

Previous Diary Entries

Tue Mar 27 18:20:59 2001

After some though not sufficient thought some personal subjects at least as thought food, and it makes some difference writing in public, knowing that then at least is it publicly knowable and at least for some known what is verifiably uttered by me and appearently testable opinion, which can be publicly echoed back at me when such is opportune. Good for character judgement and credibility checks, at least.

I think I'll add some bwise window dumps, I've done some fun enough things, and would not stress but at least point out that I think I'm capable of doing all kinds of very thorough, professional, almost untouchable programming tasks on the basis of it and some additional solid ideas, but now feel more prompted to sit down and play around with it, a bit of this, trying a little or big fun application like that, making the whole state saveable but not going into all the namespace and dot notation idiosyncracies, not making all the code with unix man page tight formulated double checked extensive manual pages, complete and extensively up to fool proof tested wonderfully limited and powerfull library routines and clearcut and decent clearcut routine sets, and more of such, as if I'm designing top measurement equipment with a price tag in the 6 figure range a piece.

I'm just having some fun with lets say everything in and out objects, communication between them, graphical respresentation of them, networks based on them, and how to make something that actually works that is quite complicated, considered impossible to define or even largely ununderstood by quite some programmers, which is also up to language tasks, lets say list based computer circuits operations and virtual machines, and in general is powerfull enough to even make a compiler or such with.

Not that such is needed, but its fun enough to in maybe 15 minutes make a 16 slider application that can put various slider movements on a stack and play them back inreverse order, while showing the network activity to make that happen interactively. Fun enough.

Personal Faith

First, the serious stuff, I guess. Am I a personal christian? Yes, I've been not active in that sense and not ackowledging it in any conscious form for quite some years, but at least for 4 years or so I've been consciously so, meaning I think about the subjects involved, engage in such activities as prayer and thinking about spiritual things in that context, and in principle want to act in life on the basis of sane and tested enough convictions based on the existence of God, the reality of his Son having come to this world to save many from sin and prepare eternal life, and the Holy Spirit (of which I'm sure there is only one real one) being capable of expressing what He in his grace wants to reveal of his mercy, plan or about situations He permits his people to work with or in.

I also believe that when someone has the priviledge of being found by God, and given a new heart and and the possibility to not be seperated spiritually from Him and find His purposes in life that there is a new person that He created in all holyness and possible perfection that one can learn to find and live in, and that for every such person, there is a specific ministry, seperable in the various known kinds, apostles, prophets, teachers, evangelists, shepperds, givers, showers or mercy, exhorters, and maybe a few more, and that there are works that go with that ministry that He prepared, where we can live in, so as to fullfill His plans purposes for the life that He intended to fit with every person and type of persons' characteristics and main mode of living.

I also believe there is personal and lets say knowledgewise growth possible for anyone from 'new born christians' to adults in faith, and that also for in general people that convert or want to stay away from evil there is a need for knowledge and personal development at least to find out what is right and what isn't and be able to stick with that.

I prefer to stay sane and stick with sound teaching and normally verifyable logic and lines of thinking, acknowledging of course that the holy spirit is indeed a holy spirit, which contains a supernatural element, and that acceptance of a person Jesus that defeated and rose from death is even more daring and potentially unnatural and at least hard to verify than the existence of an alknowing and almighty God who in the end will judge the living and the dead, and made and judged the world as we know it, and made provisions for salvation and learning about his character and standards of righteousness and holyness.

So what do we or the world or our neighbour or god need more: praise prophets, showers of mercy, evangelists or the doctrine related ministries? And who will lead all these wonderfull persons and their ministries, and their works and as far as applicable: their lives?

And who knows what (the real) God realy wants, or wether He even exists or seriously occupies himself with this world and its inhabitants? As a partial answer: who lives with the knowledge they seriously have about the generally and personally oriented revealed will of God, seriously? When we don't do as God wants, we should be convinved of sin, maybe bad maybe noting worth noticing much, maybe unsolvable at a certain moment, maybe we're in some sort of learning proces, but the bottom line is that at least deliberate rebellion with the power to do otherwise, out of no good intentions against the clear, known, and tested will of God is a form of rebellion that will make for not good fruits in some way.

That's the essence of a lot of things not being right in christian sense in many ways, and I'd almost say boringly so, considering this type of teaching is pretty old common knowledge. But for those not around when it was preached, forgetfull or in other need of remembrance: God does test His own for obedience to His revealed will, even his own Son was subjected to such testing, though without failing. Why? I guess mortals and demons are not good counsellors, and sin is so much in every root in the world that nothing much good can be expected by straying in any direction suggested by something from it as alternative to the good and righteous god.

Of course these are major statements with no guarantees that it is possible to deal with that world and life in general in a way that is good enough and holy and upright and fullfilling and alive and effective against every form of evil encountered and against all human factors adding up to betrayal, death, hate of good and God, sin in general and inspired by darkness and maybe jeleousy or greed, and wether is it worth taking the risc of finding oneself stuch with only one way: out of many miserable life modes and the certain risc that against certain forms and working of sin in life only one answer will be sufficient: that Jesus is needed as a solution for continuing forgiveness and that it is required to acknowledge that it is righteous that God who sent him as atonement has the right to life that He saved, primarily.

So we all become slaves of Christ and God and suffer our all our life long under obeying every whimp the Holy Spirit wants to utilize to show the world what subjection is with, sort of like Paul? I'm sure that image is wrong. First, we're not all like Paul, and in fact being a jew that finds Christ in person in even tangible form, being the main new testament letter writer that is still read and of considerable influence 20 centuries later is a position and authority probably no one can match. Maybe Peter or so, or Jesus, or course, but that's about it. A contemporary apostle or prophet (second on the list of natural authoritiveness going with certain ministries) could maybe compete by having their words or videos seen by more people simulaneously than ever lived on the earth before, or maybe have the biggest print numbers in history (though I'd say its hard to top of Paul, here), or as first deal with the wonders of the information age, that glory is I guess available at top level, but not the foundations and even main visions on christian, and evidently on prior prophetic teaching and revelation.

In short and plain english: the mistery of the church, the body of christ as a period of Grace for jews and gentiles after the time of the law, and supposedly before the return of Jesus and the fulfilment of the promise to the jews of the thousand years of peace, has been revealed to the first apostles in more than clear enough language and amount of detail, so the basics of teaching in new testament sense, which still applies, has been laid down by them, and there is no need for current ministries to lay that foundation in basic form again. Know material, and as far as needed the mistery of how that all is has already been revealed in that time, and there is no reason to assume the basics have changed.

That leaves every generation with the need to learn to apprehend what that basis is, how it applied to everyones' life, and of course what every person could and should be about and focussing on and dealing with, and of course like every normal human being knows, life has experiences and growth in various ways that are know in evert detail to everyone unless one wants to be engulved in very spooky doctrine and spiritual states, The factor of God's revelation, which can apply also to personal issues, and in every case would preferably have to be tested thourough enough by reliable enough people fro genuity of the source, of course adds the factor of a supernatural source that could and at times should have impact in a persons life, contrary to just about every other source, that safely and preferably can be discarded and subdued to sane enough normal thinking and forgotten.

In other words when God says A, should we do B, or nothing at all, and how is that? Well, maybe we are allowed or enticed to indeed also B, or facultatively B, or just eat plain fries and don't worry, or something. Or we may wonder how the voice or other forms of revelation of and from the Holy Spirit can actually exist, and how serious we can take them, and very importantly, how we can discern the true source of utterances taken for of the Holy Spirit, which apart from rightfully trusted human beings I assure everyone we can safely ignore and preferably discard.

I'm sure the Hare Christna's or general bush negro medicin man are convinced they should orient their lives after the will of some demon, and that canibals probably also find their guiding spirits of high authority, but no one in their right mind should take them as more then normal human beings because of their alledged spiritual value or enriching spiritual illumination. Because the source is wrong, and never worth trying, ever.

No ouija board ever made anyone happier, I'd think not even in the short run. No soothsayer either. No fake religeous leader either, I'm sure. In the face of such delusive and evil sourced spiritual leads, ignoring them is without any question the easiest and an effective way to stay clear from the possible damning results of taking them as leading or guiding influences or persons.

Yet the Holy Spirit is a person who does lead at times, and who does provide utterances of various kinds that again after hopefully reliable testing could have major impact in life, and therefore become a factor outside the natural, the tangible and possibly the rationally tracable. Then the gospel and all the doctrine we take serious and what we think and spiritually have place for would better be for real and good. And reliable and according to the will of the One with complete and utter authority and knowledge of also those things, or we're pretty much in danger of getting messed up or with.

And when such taking serious of possibly divine revelation and communication takes on a place in the essence of out lives, it would indeed better be the good and reliable and holy and alknowing God the Father that is at the other end of the link, or providing what we think is worth something, or the essence of our lives in in danger of getting messed with, The latter is a major source of error, disillusionment, misery, unfulfilling or lets say not rewarding christian experience, and probably of bad and misleading leadership in names related with Christ and the religions that claim is name, rightfully so or not, or that should act in his name, and not in someone elses, or that simply suggest that they of course are given authority by the indeed highest instance of such in life, death, the earth, human life, and I guess everything else as well. For certain including every power of darkness, not a single one excluded, and I'm convinced of that on personal as well as theoretical level.

So why don't I have a job at a fingersnap, a Benz (make it another audi 100, fine with me, got a 4 liter spare? Liquid gas, of course, I've seen they have injection too, nowadays), a pool on the tropics, and whatever other riches and succes there are to be had in this world, a world ministry with my own tape distribution centre. A world hit song, maybe? Could be arranged, I guess, nah, that's not fair. And might suck, promotionwise. Oh, and top scientific career, oops should do that myself, let's see, what else, a top position in the country of choice, well, well, what else, lets see.

Without the cold shower intend, proverbs has interesting things to say about all this, a main one I just remembered having even uttered in words repeatedly because it has regularly struck me being that in all riches and fullfillments and pleasures there are in this world, and luckily there are more than a few legal and harmless ones around in major parts of it, one must be able to actually enjoy them, and if God hasn't granted or stopped such priviledge, enjoyment may well be out and unavailable, in spite of circumstance and good things. So that the conditions for lets say happiness lie not just in the availability of the aforementioned, however desirable that might be for some or at certain times, but also in a factor not so easily or not at all in the power of a human person.

Besides the law that only the likes of pharaos may have dared to challenge 'vanity of vanities, everything is vanity', but then again, they too are dead, just with a more expensive and remembered coffin. I guess one could claim to be divine, and be proven wrong by an infant that indeed is, but a few millenia ago proved to be futile reversal just the same. I guess the claim of 'eternal life' makes it possible to consider what goes beyond vanity, as well as the sin problem solved, so that God can have to do with the beginnings of a value in this world that is of not corruptable and eventually of worthlessness, limitedness or futility.

The trust needed to find that that is so could be considerable, and possibly based on unprovable material, could be wrong altogether, which would be quite miserable, or an extrapolation of experience after while retaining sanity engaging in the spiritual which after testing would seem indeed to be Gods and showing His properties and producing according fruits.

Considering faith means trust, we can expect God has made provisions to proof what is trustworthy in His eyes, and to make clear enough what His will is, and give means to testify to what is true and done indeed in his name and according to his will. Biblical, we find that the working of miracles, which are not of obscure but of clearly christ centered nature, the utterances in forms of tongues and explanations and prophesies, and in general the showing forth of personally, socially and otherwise perceivable good fruits are such proofs.

Well, well, mr so-and-so, with all this, some special treatment required, a major monopod in our local maffia for a good price, maybe? Will see, donno. It depends, I guess persons willing to learn to live in Gods will which is and can be found to be indeed that can be seen and considered in as many ways as there are human beings, Of course such has consequences, but I guess it is hard to predict what God will do in general to make people live their lives with their (intended) ministry, except that in general corruption, excessive greed, dishonesty, injustice, abuse and such things are out of the possibility range, or lets say out of the acceptability range, that would not be reconcilable with gods character.

So a rockband is out? At least Kiss (I don't have the special characters) made clear what can be important in life. Beats 'check my d*, it might actually be just about the biggest of the whole block, but we're still comparing, hang on, you'll get the latest news flash, and guaranteed, no beating whitney in the meanwhile, realy don't worry'.

Playing my (or a new) Michael Brecker on a good stereo, preferably loud enough to be able to break a glass at the right moments, but without noticing (ever experienced that?) would be nice. And trying the same not at home at night after an afternoon sayling in some nice bay would even be nicer. With some good beer nicer still.

I guess doing the latter without friendly or persons indeed as friends enough present or elsewhere doesn't make more sense than a playing gig, though its hardly arguable I'd like that still.

And in my opinion mainly when there is no one there or in thoughts that I could love as a fitting and in my opinion attractive person of opposite sex is probably not up to the job of being satisfactory essentially. And even when not at that point leading to or already having led to a lasting / physical connection, my priorities comparisonwise would be clear, with the comparatively few with whom such fits, there is hardly a comparison.

Lets give the final word for now to the essence of the maibe the main laws of God as revealed to the jews quite long ago, if we assume that all that is accurate enough and he translations somewhere near digestable (which is in all seriousness quite questionable), from Deuteronium 5, the 10 commandments and some more, as I've regularly heard them from pretty litle child on in official (and later by me rejected) church, and sometimes from the bible I got at some point myself, sort of out of curiousity or interest in a higher source of right and justice above what is there otherwise. The idea is to continue reading until the conclusion of the (in itself artificial and later added) chapter is reached,:

Deu 5:1 And Moses called all Israel, and said unto them, Hear, O Israel, the statutes and judgments which I speak in your ears this day, that ye may learn them, and keep, and do them.

Deu 5:2 The LORD our God made a covenant with us in Horeb.

Deu 5:3 The LORD made not this covenant with our fathers, but with us, [even] us, who [are] all of us here alive this day.

Deu 5:4 The LORD talked with you face to face in the mount out of the midst of the fire,

Deu 5:5 (I stood between the LORD and you at that time, to shew you the word of the LORD: for ye were afraid by reason of the fire, and went not up into the mount;) saying,

Deu 5:6 I [am] the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage.

Deu 5:7 Thou shalt have none other gods before me.

Deu 5:8 Thou shalt not make thee [any] graven image, [or] any likeness [of any thing] that [is] in heaven above, or that [is] in the earth beneath, or that [is] in the waters beneath the earth:

Deu 5:9 Thou shalt not bow down thyself unto them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God [am] a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth [generation] of them that hate me,

Deu 5:10 And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me and keep my commandments.

Deu 5:11 Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain: for the LORD will not hold [him] guiltless that taketh his name in vain.

Deu 5:12 Keep the sabbath day to sanctify it, as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee.

Deu 5:13 Six days thou shalt labour, and do all thy work:

Deu 5:14 But the seventh day [is] the sabbath of the LORD thy God: [in it] thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, nor thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thine ox, nor thine ass, nor any of thy cattle, nor thy stranger that [is] within thy gates; that thy manservant and thy maidservant may rest as well as thou.

Deu 5:15 And remember that thou wast a servant in the land of Egypt, and [that] the LORD thy God brought thee out thence through a mighty hand and by a stretched out arm: therefore the LORD thy God commanded thee to keep the sabbath day.

Deu 5:16 Honour thy father and thy mother, as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

Deu 5:17 Thou shalt not kill.

Deu 5:18 Neither shalt thou commit adultery.

Deu 5:19 Neither shalt thou steal.

Deu 5:20 Neither shalt thou bear false witness against thy neighbour.

Deu 5:21 Neither shalt thou desire thy neighbour's wife, neither shalt thou covet thy neighbour's house, his field, or his manservant, or his maidservant, his ox, or his ass, or any [thing] that [is] thy neighbour's.

Deu 5:22 These words the LORD spake unto all your assembly in the mount out of the midst of the fire, of the cloud, and of the thick darkness, with a great voice: and he added no more. And he wrote them in two tables of stone, and delivered them unto me.

Deu 5:23 And it came to pass, when ye heard the voice out of the midst of the darkness, (for the mountain did burn with fire,) that ye came near unto me, [even] all the heads of your tribes, and your elders;

Deu 5:24 And ye said, Behold, the LORD our God hath shewed us his glory and his greatness, and we have heard his voice out of the midst of the fire: we have seen this day that God doth talk with man, and he liveth.

Deu 5:25 Now therefore why should we die? for this great fire will consume us: if we hear the voice of the LORD our God any more, then we shall die.

Deu 5:26 For who [is there of] all flesh, that hath heard the voice of the living God speaking out of the midst of the fire, as we [have], and lived?

Deu 5:27 Go thou near, and hear all that the LORD our God shall say: and speak thou unto us all that the LORD our God shall speak unto thee; and we will hear [it], and do [it].

Deu 5:28 And the LORD heard the voice of your words, when ye spake unto me; and the LORD said unto me, I have heard the voice of the words of this people, which they have spoken unto thee: they have well said all that they have spoken.

Deu 5:29 O that there were such an heart in them, that they would fear me, and keep all my commandments always, that it might be well with them, and with their children for ever!

Deu 5:30 Go say to them, Get you into your tents again.

Deu 5:31 But as for thee, stand thou here by me, and I will speak unto thee all the commandments, and the statutes, and the judgments, which thou shalt teach them, that they may do [them] in the land which I give them to possess it.

Deu 5:32 Ye shall observe to do therefore as the LORD your God hath commanded you: ye shall not turn aside to the right hand or to the left.

Deu 5:33 Ye shall walk in all the ways which the LORD your God hath commanded you, that ye may live, and [that it may be] well with you, and [that] ye may prolong [your] days in the land which ye shall possess.

More Later

The obligational type of heading signifies not the reverse of the subject it raises, or some meta discussion, I've prepared no window dumps yet, because I've been doing some of what I've planned a long time ago with bwise, which is for instance to add some menu's. Not just for block editing and fire behaviour, but also for creating new blocks.

I want to be able to click somewhere on the canvas and get a popup with blocks to put on that spot, or 'make and instance' of such a block. As some may have notices most blocks have creation routines that can automatically deal with multiple instances using obvious and convenient naming rules, an d a menu to help getting a block on a canvas makes things easier to use, and what's easier to use is used more, and when it is also efficient, it may be selectable as a good and generally usefull interface, at least by the likes of me who like things to work right and in a usefull manner.

So a menu now pops up when the mouse is clicked anywhere on the bwise canvas more than 2 pixels away from some object (to prevent flapping menus when just missing a wire), automatically presenting all types of graphics objects that can be placed on the canvas. The menu is made automatically, it finds out itself which procedures there are starting with 'new...' such as newproc, newmon, and puts them in the menu.

I was just looking at matching parameters for the function to receive the right default arguments and the x and y variables filled in to put the new block at the clicked spot in the canvas. And guess what I sort of need: a xector type of operation. Good educational stuff, more later...