Theo Verelst Diary Page

Tue Apr 17 11:42:52 2001

I've decided after good example to write some diary pages with toughts and events.

Oh, in case anybody fails to understand, I'd like to remind them that these pages are copyrighted, and that everything found here may not be redistributed in any other way then over this direct link without my prior consent. That includes family, christianity, and other cheats. The simple reason is that it may well be that some people have been ill informed because they've spread illegal 'copies' of my materials even with modifications. Apart from my moral judgement, that is illegal, and will be treated as such by me. Make as many references to these pages as you like, make hardcopies, but only of the whole page, including the html-references, and without changing a iota or tittel...

And if not? I won't hesitate to use legal means to correct wrong that may be done otherwise. And I am serious. I usually am. I'm not sure I could get 'attempt to grave emotional assault' out of it, but infrigement on copyright rules is serious enough. And Jesus called upon us to respect the authorities of state, so christians would of course never do such a thing. Lying, imagine that.

Previous Diary Entries

Tue Apr 17 11:42:39 2001

Peter Brown

I guess in american sense not much of an impressive name, but as I am aware a quite well known historian, currently homed at a favorite university of mine, Princeton, specializing in the early and later christian history, lets say developments leading to and until the early middle ages (about 6th c. AD.). Favorite is strange not ever having been there, but I've met , read from, talked with, and exchanged computer files various people from there, and Peter Brown is one I've seen and very shortly interacted with at a historically oriented symposium at Leiden state university, with him as main speaker.

At the time I still had wheels, and had started to raise an interest in the essence of the sources of christianity and its writings (mainly the bible and contemporary interpretations), and thought it would be a good idea to have input on the time when 'real' christianity collided with the roman empire, and very ugly things started to happen, leading to the dark middle ages until the real enough illumination or reveil of the renaissance sort of accompanied a more fundamental approach to christianity, led to expressed disagreement with roman catholicism and serious science. So I went to the lecture, other university, and of course in Technical University Delft there are not many official chairs or activities in such scientific areas, and at times I liked the change of atmosphere, not being aware of the amount of evil I was dealing with, in my then work environment, or in that university, for that matter.

The main phrase i found funny at the time was the idea if people in lets say after 2d century or so had been 'spiritual hackers' referring to the kind of computer programming which is sort of a imperfect shortcut, a cumulation of quick fixes and unofficial or tricky and dangerious reliabilitywise programmer activities without well throughthouht, well designed, and neatly done work as the main rule. Usually only justifiably applied by advanced enough programmers that can often get away with hacks, knowing the limitations of certain problems in most practical uses, or restricted to themselves as users, and knowing how to circumvent the main caveats and pitfalls as they perform quick program surgery or patch some program parts without ever wanting beauty prices or disclosure of sources to other than trusted parties.

I at the lecture ans some short communication afterward very much was strengtened in my idea that after first christianity, much had gone wrong in very verifiable ways, and that the takeover of the roman empire by at least also doubtfull christians ending in the miserable decline of the empire and rise of catholicism to try to rule its more or less dead remains, with probably byzantium helping all this pretty well formally, was maybe corrected in some ways only much later on, when various revolutions, constitutions and hopefully sane enough organisations of many westerns states was released from that type of direct religeous burden, at least formally.

Last friday I had the chance to download an article called 'Charmed Lives' from the same historian, that describes the search for mainly mosaics and their historic relevance and scientific use from Alexandria, which was the 4th city in terms of size and relevance after Rome in the mentioned time, and has had a more or less consistent, uninterrupted type of rule for about the whole time of the beginning 'christian' centuries, and lots of mosaics to illustrate the thinking that was put on the floors and walls of homes. It seems that about at the time of the depression, until after the war, various teams were involved in digging up the mosaics, and that many have since found their way in many museums and exhibition places, and currently there is an exhibition and catalog organised that brings a number of them together, to be able to have an overview over the distributed pieces.

The history of the site of Alexandria seems to be well known enough, and there are various obersvations about how the site origially was backed by an agricultural area and accompanying leading parties in the suburbs, and resides in a sort of valley (as I remember) with clean water sources with major dry areas in various directions. It appears to hav e been a pretty place in what is currently Turkey, and the current border with Syria cuts right through the main city and its back land it seems.

Currently, I don't think I can have digital images of them, but I'll do some for instance university site searching to see if maybe there are some digitisations available, but at least some examples in the article in print in New York Review of Books are quite illustrative, and definately fit in my thinking about the greek sources of both society at that time, literary and art wise, and the though frames being common knowledge enough at the time of new testament writers, who clearly at least allude to them.

I've browsed though the printed version of the article in the library, and luckily could download the pages from the NYRB web server on floppy, to also at least read and cut and paste from it using the tcl/tk html browser I can just get to work (except only for html 1.0, quite limited, not even tables), so I may make some text with quotes when I'm done reading. Until I'm through with the whole article, I've read about half, maybe see the NY review of books site for it yourself, or sponsor them and buy the magazine, it is interesting stuff without question, of course depending on one's interest area, but there are many thoughts that at least have quite some relations with the spirits in this time, and as in general at least historic awareness can applied to learn from the past and prevent making the same mistakes again.

The great Bowl

I don't think it is harmfull or in any way bad to be reminding that there is a major warning throughout the bible, that assuming the Author is at least not too malinterpreted, should be seen as completely essential spiritual truth. From babels tower lets say, over Babylon and the jewish exile in it the prophets warning about it and lamenting its results, to Peters letters and Revelation a main theme is probably not for nothing summed up as follows:

I am the Lord thy God, who has brough thee out of the house of bondage, out of Egypt, .. , Thou shalt have no other Gods before, Me, .. you shall make yourself no images of anything that is under, on, or above the earth, and you shall not bow down before them.

Thats the jewish law from long ago, and their lets say sorcerers, demons worshippers, sacrificers to the Baal, witches, soothsayers and their users and much more of such were supposed to be put to death, to prevent israel from becoming polluded by them, spiritually. Schizo lingo? No, spiritual truth, as wether a medium feels nice, seriously... Or ask wether some fake prayer healer or uija board user feels nice, sleeps well, still has concentration, and isn't depressed afterward, this stuff is simply not to be messed with, if there is a real God, and the bible is seriously representative of His opinions, than these things and the desire to be in with them are a curse, not a blessing, and strongly derecommended by that God. Very strongly.

And when they are applied to lets say pollude or get something from or provoke to damnation or what else there is people who know and want to live in the salvation that Christ make, and eventually all such adultery against (the real) Spirit of God is supposed to bring about the same the satan always seems to have wanted, that that think can claim what is God's, for as many misled or evil people are willing to go along with, lots of misery can and will occur.

The image in the book of revelation, where the 'new' babylon is described, because it is based on the city of the seven hills, historically well known to be Rome, and because the newness is that as well as that since the real Christ is there for the copying and if possible supserceding by many antichrists that were not there yet, but warned for, there is a form of babylon that doesn't just go against the God from Genesis and the thora, but also against and abusing the new salvation and new testament life for jews and gentiles, which wasn't previously there, is a woman with a cup in her hands, supposedly filled with abominations und unclean things from her fornication with the kings of the earth whol become drunk of the wine of her fornication, sitting on a scarlet beast filled with names of blashphemy, having seven heads and ten horns , with a text on her forehead,

The mother of the whores and abominations of the earth

When that whore system goes down, at the end of the great tribulation period, there will be joy in heaven, because the adultery against Gods spirit, his own, his apostles and prophets has been revenged. It is not often, I think hardly ever otherwise, that there is recordedly joy in heaven over such destruction, it must be for good reason.

I'm sure the abuse of children to sacrifice and slaughter and destroy and subdue is in this picture, and that the image of the mother of whores includes the fact that many of them are so unvolontarily, and that the amount and kinds of evil involved are not described in such strong words for nothing.

So what if I or someone else just become christian, in personal sense that is, not by enrolling or receiving some ritual in some system, but by a heart conviction that Jesus is their saviour, and immedeately is tought that the cup that woman has must be drunk from just the same? That would pollude someone newly gained spititual life, without question, and being the mother of whores, without question such would be done with major cunningness, sleezyness, creepyness, and aimed at long term power over someone, as rigorous and as interpersonally powerfull as possible.

So I'm sure that in that context, sexuality and relations, expecially when they get interesting, exiting, highly desirable, or otherwise relevant, are the main target of such a whore system, and that they want to have the life in any way they can of such a person by utilizing their whoring skills, and gain power with the mighty ones by utilizing their gains.

Lets see, then they'll make sure that it is worth while enrolling in their system, refer to any 'earthly' desire such as lust for money, status, religeous and other power, sexual services or supposed satisfaction (as with whores), and as we may know from for instance proverbs, the roads that are then offered lead to hades and destruction of a person, if the real God doesn't help it. So we'd better take good doctrine to heart, and apply the its lessons, because such personal problems are not easy to get out of once they get serious and take a person in. It is worth going against a whore being applied or herself appyling herself to a mans' destruction (and sexe-reversed is probably just as well effective), and not falling in traps that include personal and potentially highly combustable personal feeling areas.

In spiritual sense, it is not different with respect to being adulterous against His Spirit, when we're being charmed by a person or spirit that is not Him or of Him, we'd better not exchange the two, Gods Spirit can be trusted, all others might not be, and demons can never be, except that they can be trusted to always be subdued to the name of Jesus, and can therefore be cast out when the subject is obedient enough to be deservant of such application of the gift of the working of miracles to cast out demons. That means a deamons place in a human life (in either of the three discernable oppression levels: the trying, the being admitted in a person, and the being capable of going against that persons will way to far), can always be undone, but that it is very undesirable to try, it never pays to accept or have one or more.

Brave New World, may the system f* itself

What is braveness in the context of that books summarized visions? Mainly that the system must not win, that I guess big brother can be gone against, the allseeing eye not given place, personal lives not made into sacrifices pleasing the pigs, the powerfull ones, or anyone else wanting them to be subdued to scrutiny, downright nazism, evil and adverse doctrines, and families and ill intended relations.

On personal level, I remember from the book that two persons finding some kind of love between them was a major theme, and a major lets say sacrifice area, directly, and as a result of the great machine wanting to rule the inhabitants of the earth.

To just think that it may be better to in a different way from systems and evil doctrines to give plave to what we also understand from various implementations and meanings of the concept 'love', is a risc in itself, though it shouldn't be in a 'free' society, and in a world according to the constitution of many countries. Corrupted and polluded love is readily available often, I guess, depending of course on ones' value and interests, and it sometimes occurs to me that it is not at all uncommon that sin in the normal enough meaning of that word implies that such little or very adverse ways of dealing with the subject are considered sort of common and normal behaviour, that is since normal enough love between people is allways messed up anyway, it should be messed up, or things don't add up.

As a result, one does as one is told, and that is the way of the world and better, of course, as everybody knows.

Is it?

I this weekend was reminded that the root of schizofrenia is usually a root of bitterness, meaning something like one has feelings of dismay, hatred, against some people or situations, that have not been resolved, accumulated to cause damnation of certain kinds when a grudge is helt and continued without utterance or a way to be free of the feeling, and that act as the starting point for unreal emotions based on the state of not normal responsiveness, which can start to change easily between oposites in various or all emotional areas, leading to a very small and scared person in between all those emotions, that are induced by environmental impulses in a non natural way.

The risc of writing about such subject while having no degree in psychiatry, and maybe just to project my own alledged ill state of mind, which it is not, quite certainly in my opinion, and as it happens, I guess inthe opinion of more than a few others, is of course being taken for dangerous, wrong, obviously seeking demagogic effect and probably willing to corrupt some unknowledgeable, possibly fragile bystanders. I'll take the risc, because I'm quite certain not to be paranoid, schizofrenic, psychotic, hell, not even manic and/or depressed worth noticing, maybe angry, maybe in sort of battle against certain wrong mode more than average people would like to hold on to long, maybe unconventional and willing to risc more than normal life would call for, maybe excentric, probably artistic in certain ways, maybe having more than healthy discord between my talents and capabilities and my current possibilities, but I'm not crazy in any way worth bothering about.

The end of some official miserable family tricks at least have been that indeed I've at least never measured by them been crazy enough to retain or undergo any forced treatment, not even for a second (and please let some make my day by claiming otherwise, because that is not true and probably an incriminating lie), so at least over the whole of things the image that I can decide to claim authoritiveness not just in certain leading way, but also in analyzing conditions of the mind, at least enough to be taken serious.

I remember that from what I have taken to be solid christian point of view, the role of the condition of schizofrenia in terms of being not logically the new and perfectly created person that a good and working faith can make persons, but something else, is imperative, unfortunately, for way too many.

What are the reasons that so much christianity is based on lies, blackmail, unrealness, effective disobediance? I normally would start filtering out the clearly evil intended ones, to only speak of the rest, which should be good enough, but there is not so much rest, and then many seem not good enough to realy take serious all too much, or at least is not capable of standingup outside and above the all too near evil, which is not good as situation. Of course I can only rely on what I can observe or hear or pick up, but I'm certain there are quite some parties in christian sense falling short of what the one I consider God would want, and though I am not responsible for them, I find that undesirable and wrong, and think at least part of what my life should be about has to do with making changes to that fact. Of course that is subdued to Deo Volente, which is not the right expression when applied to the idea that I believe that there is a divine ministry for every serious and real christian.

It seems that God does not always and in every cicumstance grant his own the priviledge to become up to higher standards, and bear fruits for His name. The question is wether there are conditions we can work on to make Him want to be more blissfull, and loose the damnation that inevitably goes with any gospel and doctrine that is not realy good news or correct, and in line with Jesus' words in revelation, we may want to find out if we're adding to or taking from his words, and want to change our lives according to His will.

Lets say things went seriously wrong with many not upright c.q. honest christians or fake bearers of such name that have been around me when I in what at some points almost seemed a former live was seriously interested in christian doctrine and lets say some communion with sharers of the same faith. What would have gone wrong, and what could the results be, even today, and maybe on not a small scale, since at least I was not completely unknown, talented enough, getting quite knowledgeable in solid enough doctrine, could aim for serious enough career moves, and was definately an exception in being not a bad person, in fact not much or at all in any conscious way.

When I believe in a living God who interferes with human affairs and who has standards, for instance of holyness and acceptable behaviour, He must have something to do with all what happens, most likely primarily with the ones He makes His own and deals with on a personal level. And considering the image of the God form lets say Psalms is hardly pityful, His dealing with human affairs probably aren't either, and not at the level of appointing sole representatives of His trust on this earth that kiss dirt instead of do as He wants.

He is known to be a consuming fire, and freighten just about everyone primarily who He deals with on the human level, because He is almighty and holy, and is ready to judge the living and the dead. At many occasions, his messengers are instrucing their targets not to be affraid anyway, because God in his mercy is making them things known, and wants not to rule by direct fear, but by love, though I think the concept 'fear of the Lord' is worth pondering on, there's too much fear for much lesser and unholier and unjust concepts to be healthy.

When I believe that serious and real christians have God given ministries in this world, He is the first and final instance who instructs and judges how this should find and take place, and what is right and wrong in the lives of mature (again: real) christians, and who get the mercy and priviledge to become such.

Now what about personal properties? In sinfull man, we are told there is no good by nature, everythings lies under sin, no one who does what is righteous, not even one. For biblically regenerated christians, the fruits visible in their lives should be the opposite, and the persons should be godo, aiming for perfect as God gives grace, and the salvation that comes from His works primarily through Christ and them should and without question can be considerable, for many.

How that all happens, and lets say what games or acts, as in revelation for instance, are being given place is up to God. He decides on how He makes his (true) faith and believers active in this world, and what He allows them, and what the conditions are. So I am certain, and I'm quite positive with considerable judgement but not bitterness (on the personal level it doesn't even mean that much) , that some of the in name serious christians that in the past have driven me from their midst, probably very eager for my position in various ways, are and will effectively be judged by indeed God. I can safely write that (no biblical pun intended), because that general stuff: God is just, so at some point He judges unjustice, and I certainly wasn't willingly or knowingly or much at all unjust, and quite willing to do His will as far as I would know.

But when some liars from such circles have teamed up to lead lets say many parts of christianily in this country, with me outside it, it may well be that they are under considerable condemnation as a result of sin, and others teaming up with them the same. I was getting to be more than mature enough in lets say knowledge and personal life with respect to various faith matters, and without question a person able to lead and teach, and therefore should have been taken for that, or there is at least one person missing that did not deserve so.

Ahh. poor boy. got rejected?

Nah. I (more or less rightly so), considered myself as having ended up in a personwise dangerous enough sectarian community, and left myself. Studied, worked, travelled, made friends, girlfriends, some love, started enough of a scientific carreer to seriously aim for ending up on top of the whole I'd almost written goddamn top technical university of Holland, content and contact wise, without anyone lauging. And then of course had to be proven crazy to proof I'd not have such authoritive position against family, catholics, and probably various other very evil parties.

Untilt that point, in various ways, not unessential, I was fine enough, and in fact lied the idea more than enough of taking my skills and for instance band experience and life to nice California and have a more than interesting enough life, hopefully with some nice enough people. Again no laughs, and I would still like the idea.

So the 'aahh' idea isn't realy applicable at all, except maybe that christianwise I felt sort of depressed I guess, which for one out of various life areas as a student is no problem, the response was to start some things I'd like, one of them applying my musical skills in environments with people I'd like enough, and with some girls I at least might like, which worked fine enough.

Now what? Well, since I did, and do, take my faith seriously, after considering what additional reasons there must have been for the christianity I've been near to be so miserable, and that I at least suffered not much personally from my faith, only from what happened around me at the time, my faith itself probably built me up more than most other things, and made me fine enough, and not at all sectarian, I met people, continued my study (amoung absolute top speeders, with quite good results, probably I was amoung a part of 10% or so of fast studiers, which in electical engineering means probably just about as bad one can get, mathematically and integration wise), worked various jobs, non-technical even, had fun enough with my synthesizer hobbies for instance, and at least have been able somehow to stand against probably much very great evil and its human frontmen and women.

So the real problem I had with faith lied in my surroundings, and considering I at least was not irrelevant in the area, quite capable invarious ways applying it, honest, and just in what I did as far as I was aware, not counting lets say polical matters such as money distribution desirabilities..,, some people have messed up and at least some missed out considerably as a result.

So I lived without consciously present fellow christians, though I'm sure some people I liked enough were till some degree in themselves, maybe know, I didn't have interest in the subject for years, which is not usually the best idea. At least for other, and without question also to some degree for myself.

Now including God in the picture, what I am capable of now, the relevance of my knowledge and research, and the potential impact of what I at least have to say about very relevant and fundamental subjects is considerable. I'm sure there are some more people with comparable potententials, and that for certain there are people with more knowledge, more leadership experience maybe, more contacts, more money, for certian (gmph), but over the whole from what I can pick up. my value for quite some serious christians can be considerable. So why am I not traveling round. lecturing, networking, working, and whatever else fitting, having a break at Hawaii or something? Am I so not in tune with what the real God would want, or just generally deluded, life, aim, maybe even sanity wise? I don't think so. I'm quite sure not so, in general, though of course I have major doubts in various areas where I'd like better information and lets say more conruence between the spiritual and the observable.

But I'm sure my problem areas and their potential solutions are well chosen and defined enough to at least not cause any doubts, that my contributions can be considerable, that I'm healthy and long term consistent, and who know what else. Still, much of what I'm capable of is not used much, and isn't called for that much by people that should serve or at least obey the same God.

Oh Oh, sect alert, leader might cause followers to collectively commit suicide, keep banned and let the childabusers, nazis, catholics, general liars, thiefs and murderers continue in his place, that is for the better. Imagine real holyness and authority to be preached and becoming effective and lives of God, The world would be realy upset, there could even be persecution for our faith, and even worse some may ed up above the system, lead well, become more than rich enough, naturally, and raise children not crazy enough to believe any antichrist demon that comes along, catches their attention, plays wiggy wiggy for a little while with them, and leave them out to dry the rest of their lives in spiritual and emotional states to abominoble to ever expect normal life to take place in ever.

Red alert, he is actually against the sacret, secret, its name be praised forever SYSTEM, he will go against the grain, cause anargy (gmph) and horrible real leftish christians to go on 'till it hurts and then beyond, and make changes in the landscape happen when left free: 'Kann nicht, geht nicht, huert nich an, staatsgefaehrlicher Person, mitnimmen, abfuerhen, der fuehrer, Gott habe sein Seele, heil h*, hat uns gewarnt die Endloeschung ist noch nich erreicht, kan kein Platz kriegen. Sich Heil. Und Gott mitt uns'.

'Der macht Herr Professor (sich h*!) laecherlich, er macht block systeme und netwerken, er wird neben gotter in die computer sein, ausserst gefahrlich, unsere leiter kuennen nicht mitmachen: Abfuerhen ! Bedenk ein Luegen, aber versichere dass der nicht mitmachen kann, kunnen wir nicht mehr haben'. 'Ordnung muss sein'.

Dramatised? It god damn 'it' happened before my eyes, with myself, for Christ' sake. Will you please first learn to sin and take part of our little beastly system of (I hoped former) abusers wanting to enslave and keep their own, and indicate on the dotted line wether you want your mark on the right hand or the forehead, please, just check the box, thank you.

Yeah, right. Wanna talk about constitutional rights, m*f*s, or the subject not available in this country. The constitution certainly is, and unless you're willing to raise a major majority and change it or are willing to die in a war for it, it is goind to stay their. And be applied as far as I'm concerned.

Anyhow, much of this is biblical of course, and I am aware of it that many, also honest and obidient enough, christians are not cut out to be foreman and women to deal with these issues and make a place where at least they can live rightly and normally quietely enough without some over their heads forcing them to be intrigated, spied on maybe, blackmailed, oppressed, or just generally not being capable of advancing enough and become at least good enough or even models.

Some might honestly not dare to go against the world enough that will not appreciate spiritwise what they might stand for, some may not be aware of the dangers and lets say damnation they are in, while other should most probably be blamed for their lameness, disobedience, failure or negligence to follow His commands, lack of fruits or maybe sins or worse, not even thinking about the ones that were never real or were cut of and dead agian effectively form the real God long ago, and some being worthy of immedeatete, trialless death by lightening or other effective means.

The general picture in Revelation of the various basic effective varieties of christian communities and groups is not so bad but also far from perfect, and at first glance not even so positive. Yet some certainly are worth while and obiedent enough, and the general idea is not that it doesn't pay to learn to live the way He intended.

Can schizofrenia be projected at another person? I'm sure it can, and that that is even part of the whole idea of rejection reversal and other comman elements of schizofrenia. Am I seeing ghosts? No, I'm quite sure the subject is serious and about as dramatic as I've once seen (read) it being brought forward. I'm not sure the biblical foundations are clear to me, but I bet the bowls and double-lifedness and taking of faces (James) have to do with similar principles, and that one can easily enough discern when something is wrong when one is willing to think straight, no revelation is needed for that. Under nazi oppression one may be forced to deal with murder and betrayal of lives unto death that easily be thought to cause state of minds of anguish. When children are abused almost to death and subsequently forced to act normal enough in society, betraying every normal emotion out of fear of maybe death, just like moslims wanting out of their religion, then state will not bring forth normal yougth.

Such persons without question can have developed real schizofrenia, with a justified anger, rage, rejection, condamning attitude and done wrong emotion to start with, but hopefully not making it into a inescapable state of mind. I don't think forgiveness must go as far as to set free or give ones' own life for enemies that wrape adn torture, but I guess that the law of setting (onself to begin with) free by a form of forgiveness is probably needed to get away from bitter root, to hopefully find healing and become healthy minded, and probably set free from the various demons that also make up for the parts of schizofrenia.

I don't dare to be to lets say authoritive on the subject without more understanding or knowledge, when so much misery and abuse and violence (also emotional) os at hand as I've learned about. But every serious believer, a healthy enough state of mind should not be missed as target, and Jesus did promise He would heal the broken hearted, and I believe that that is so, and that the last thing that believers should believe in is that He asks us to sacrifice our sanity and soundness of mind and thinking for no good reasons. The contrary in fact, I'm sure.

I've had a few but not many real conversations free from these elements in years, I'm sure. I'm capable of it, and luckily endowed with talents and skills and experience enough at least to not all to easily feel lets say threatened as a persons, though I sure some people made quite criminal attempts to rigourously change that situation. So I'm not all too easily put down, which of course is a major first move for someone wanting power ot realy being affraid of a person that isn't impressed with their oppression, which is pleasant, my opinion about some strng subject is well founded enough not to make me very sensitive in those ways, and I've lived enough not to be too impressionable for real in many other areas I could show sensitivity myself as well, so I'm relatively safe, as in paranoia and such wise. Maybe I see conspiracies, which is true, and they are historic, so I don't see a problem there either, so over the whole, I don't need to make myself feel strangely superiour, inadequate, too impressionable, to feebly artistically sensitive, and such things, I'm fine enough, and I do have real interest, have conversed intelligently and without discontentment since I'm certain I was 10 or 11 onward without difficulty, mostly even liking it, and apart from maybe 1 or2 lonely enough years in that sense, I've never much been out of contact with at least various people, so there is no problem there either.

Yet a serious, not even necessarily between friends, conversation with interested, real enough, and normal enough persons, about a real enough subject, is realy quite scarce. And without succoming to all to old-age like approaches, there are many popular things in society that do not exactly make for well equiped people in terms of having, stating and sharing an independent, intelligent opinion. Though pop culture for sure is abot saying something positively true and clear, in my opinion, and talk shows about a subject have popularity, and some other art forms and lets say circles that express themselves are also not without normal enough content

Is Mr Bean acting schizofrenic? No, I think, though I'm sure he's playing with certain concept that would border on it if he wouldn't deal with them in is own way, I guess there isn't bitterness to make his behaviour and utterances rooted in some form of disfunction, he's just dealing with life as it is and comes, his own limitations, and what he likes to expess about various subjects.

As an example of what I'm thinking about also, which I find quite relevant subject (no matter what, serious christians are called upon to pray with the gouvernment, which can be a blessing from God, why do I get certain lets say radio-reverent feeling associations here? No ration, no irritation, just wondering wether that's like Erny Ford music, for instance. No.), lets say I'm doing an interview with an actor who became president, about the wonderfull subject of computers.

Common management logic is to let people discover themselves what you would want them to understand or do, so lets say I am very good m*f* or neater version of manager to make that president understand the main point of the subject I'm all to knowledgeable about, but about which that president must formulate a polical position, hopefully reasonable enough to apply to and be at least acceptable to the maybe one third or so of the current professinal workforce of the whole of the us of a. Then who in the end did their job right, who gets responsibility and who has it, what trust can I or others have in the actor, and what is lets say normal inter personal behaviour in the whole conversation? Not much, in fact. I am very certain wonderfull and great and amazing games are possible on the basis of just these principles applied in only a midly evil way. And many of them. And that the stakes are quite high, and that therefore no chalanger should blow up with me in it accompanied by liptalk 'explanations' that my loving widow would not exactly feel better with.

Get the point ?

What is the power game involved, what are the economic goods o f the interaction, what is the nature and intended and desirable direction of the information exchange, what is the entertainment value, and is the justified?

I'm not sure I'd get the point of 24h/d 7 d/w interviews and coverage of such events and their likes. Will we raise or lower taxes, and why, main subject? Will we go to war against iran, or just destroy their missiles, and how? Are christians going to guide sex education in schools, and if so what the hell can they and can they not get away with.

Grandfather maffia leader voice
How is it it all going, guys?

Well Al, we won again!

Good! Now what?

Gee, we don't now Al, maybe throw a party?

Nah, just divide the spoils and go to your wife and kids, we'l conquer the rest of the cities later. I'm fed up with your face, I don't wanna see you anymore for a long time. Take a vacation, the boys will be their to collect the taxes later, so just get out of here.

Then what? Power is established, everyone hates eachother and suspects murder at every corner, hates the leader, wants their place but haven't got the guts, the balls or the talent or the money, life is f*ed, the wifes are stolen the kids corrupted, evil and equally disliking most others, the jobs fake, the positions based on extorsion and violence, the sex on rape, the love on self pity, power, lies, oppression, whoredom, greed, and fear.

Maybe a little david to play the (thumb?) harp to drive away the depressions, or a little girl that can be lied to enough to make a kind and nice area in life, until she is corrupted enough to be put to use to blackmail or whore or both.

A loving wife? Gmph. There are movies like greek drama about the subject. A honored position? Out of the question, not after so much injustice, corruption and heaped up guilt. A new life? To much corrupting knowledge, dangerous, probably lethal. Enjoyment of riches? Probably hard, maybe the wisest possibility, but then what? Good food maybe? Why not. Parties? Hypocritical without enough innocent blood.

And that is 'just' maffia, lets not even try to image what things are like in the vatican and the likes. How many children you we near being wraped will actually be sacrificed to the moloch and how much more can there be produced, and how many of these will you betray completely and trade for other today. And how many slaves can be put to the service of every demon around for how many generations to come, and how wonderfull they can team with the nazi's to maybe even get away with no apology to the jews at all, or maybe a realy tiny one many years, and whallow in other types of not even pleasures, but evil, abominations, unceanness, corruption, and utter human destructiveness, and for how many centuries ahead the blood of saints can be at least sucked on and preferably taken, based on knowledge and betrayal of the people and works that God gives as gifts to the world.

But be sure to not use the devilish anti-conception as neat follower of who knows what incredible doctrine, and make sure you get your final sacrement, or you might end up in hell also after you die. At least maybe THEY will way you're holy. Chances are, they won't. Would it lead to much 'security of salvation' to be brought up and tought by this system, faith wise? Ot would forever messed up and emotionally deranged persons be more the target of the manslayer from the beginning and the rich leaders?

Sleep well mister president. The whitehouse can do without childabusers (NOT refering to what-was-her-name-again-gate), catholic leaders (historically not an impossible point of view), freemasons, illuminati and rothshields (historycally much harder, but at least make some money about it), and the ways of treasurous religeous liars which are probably worse criminals than the whole of the maffia, or certainly more deranged and contageous,

Gods bowl filled with only one emotion about the world of the ones teaming up with very wrong parties at some point of final enough judgement will be filled with undiluted wrath. He holds the whole world and its shared consciousness, angels, the heavens, death, and the rulers and people in it together in His mind any way He chooses. Want to make Him jeleous? Are you stronger then He? I am not.


I was prompted at the subject recently in a way I don't realy know the ends of, but anyhow, I'm sure it is an essential subject.

Why is suffering in the world?

Mainly as the result of Gods damnation as a consequence of sin, as we are informed about. Except I guess from chosen suffering when one wants to work at something that cost efforts because one has chosen to do so, for instance making a rocket in paradise I guess humanly speaking would talke loads of hard work. Just a comparison, thats suffering of a manageble kind that is not for I think a special reason. Unless maybe we should sit on a cloud all day instantly achieving the formation or realisation of our every thought or something.

Why did Christ suffer ?

Mainly as a result of becoming equal to human beings and their condition, sharing their curses, without being to blame for them, since He was without sin.

The end of his life as the main sacrifice serves the purpose that God had instituted to solve the sin problem and related death of God of everyone in the world, to make a perfect sacrifice as replacement punishment for the ones Jesus wants to give his own righteousness to, to satisfy Gods law in the place of such persons, and take the just punishment on Himself.

God is perfect is righteous, holy and just, and when a person even once fails the law He had given, such a person is guilty of going against Gods will, and is therefore punishable, and since God cannot be given anything realy of value by sinfull man, noone can pay their own ransom, and the whole world dies in their sin if there is no provision for foregiveness by God Himself.

The suffering was also for identification, man suffers and Christ can identify with that suffering, and we with His work of salvation because He can understand what people can go through.

Suffering in practicle christian life can be for various reasons I guess, for isntance as a part of a process of becoming holy from the evil word system, by not wanting to take part in the sins in it as far as we can or dare, and leading a (for real, and verifiably so) better life. The suffering could be loosing family or goods (not necessarily that bad), dealing with betrayal, evil intentions and other common lets say harmfull sins in the word, which serves no real purpose, it is just the result of sin of other, and maybe of wanting to be in touch with other for a good reason.

Doing a certain work could couse suffering, when Paul supposedly is told to get about a ship that almost perishes, I guess he suffered fears when that happened, because he had been sent on a mission, and the suffering was part of it.

But NEVER can out suffering pay God. Never.

God isn't that way, it may be He asks things that cause us to suffer, and that as such we can serve or act, suffer, and that such us after His will, but NEVER does the suffering pay for something in His law ina direct sense, Jesus had that power because He was perfect, but such suffering has taken place for once and for all, and is an eternal solution no one needs to add to.

I'm not implying that God cannot ask someone to do something that includes suffering of some kind, I'm sure that is regularly a part of listeing to the (real) Holy Spirit instead of some lying cheating way of a demon or human beings methods, though then it most likely is only part of what goes on, and not so much the essence.

God does not have the character that He likes to see a person suffer per se. That is the character of a sadist or something, not of God. Not that He doesn't even Himself influct suffering, for instance as punishment for evil, but not for the point of making someone He loves squirm to please Him or something, that I consider out of the question.

A major offence of christianity in the form it without any question is intended is that the basis is Gods' gift of foregiveness, as a free gift of mercy, not a result of works, and the grace that He wants, not the works man can try to offer.

Every other religion asks for sacrifices for the leaders or the demons to be make, maybe the worse the better, which is completely the contrary of the gospel of Jesus, where the good news is the foregiveness that God himslef has prepared and paid for by His Son.

And it is an insult to that Son of God to want to add to His salvation by our good works. Not of course to do good works that he intends us to do, or that are usefull or simply not bad, but as a gift to God in order to be forgiven. Anyone preaching such a gospel is damned as a result, that is solid and repeated new testament teaching, see Peter and Pauls letter to the Galatians, and various other places.

Good works are for producing good fruits, not to save a person with.

These are essential new testament doctrines, that deserve ample and serious attention, because natural man is so very inclined to 'understand' the horrible and offensive and God damning sacrifices of just about every fake religion and their services offered to God. God did man the service by His Son, and no one else could to begin with, because the sacrifice would not be perfect or holy in any way, and therefore would be rejected, and possibly taken as insult and cause damnation as result. 'Legalism' is what Paul exposes in for instance Galatians, and is cause for many faithwise problems, people cannot mamke eachother keep the law as a means to be saved, and to boast about their offers to God.

We can receive from God and receive His Holy Spirit when we are lucky enough to have come to be known by his Son, as as a free gift, not because of our good works. Not possible, so every boasting or bearing glory on the basis of the works our religeous feelings can make us take for very worthy for God is prevented, that is impossible, and causes our lives to be damned. Bye Bye pharisees and hypocrites, your self righteousness will not do to begin with even, and damn the listeners.

Does that mean we sit on our behinds and do nothing as a consequence, or worse: continue to sin and abuse Gods mercy? No, not at all, we are given possibilities to make use of our salvation to learn what He has in mind for our lives, and can make resonable and acceptable sacrifices to praise His name by our obedience to His will, which is not about horrible tortures, but the priiviledge of bearing fruit for His name.

The babylonic system of shame and torture, complete and utter self destruction, denial of everything normal, listening to the most absurd and obeing the most evil intended demons and persons is completely and utterly in every little way against the will of god for His own. There is nothing correct about it, nothing whatsoever. Not an inch.

That is why all fake religions (as will happen in the end) can go together so well, the same father of lies is their head, and the only truly offensive one to them is the gospel Christ, and He crucified once and for all to save us as a free act of salvation by God, not by a man.

Every spirit of the anti-christ, the babylonic system, generally fake religeous systems and all else there is is not that way, and is not given what they want by the real gospel, which is why it may be a folly, a lie, and an offence to them, they cannot compete with it, and cannot get power of well instructed believers, because the sin they need to offer a remedy for has been carried away by Christ himself, and they cannot offer the same.