Major questions and (preliminary?) answers
Can one feel as closely related as a wife (in the non-buying,
non-possesive, non-forced, not-married, and not missing the
goal sense) with more than one person? I think it is possible,
but it took me a lot of consideration, and it doesn't seem
obvious, or something to particularly strife for.
Is agape^ too limited
for that, or will grace (charis, free gift, outward beauty,
graciousness) abound? That will only be clear by testing
(for some biblical persons it seemed fitting), I think
it could well be fitting and (personally) desirable, but
have not too much unambiguous experience to start thinking from.
Does a 'as a wife' relation include sex?
Obviously, that supposedly is a not irrelevant part, and
from my (limited) experience I would say it is possible
to share that with more than one, and that it is a mian
fullfillment in life when it works, evidently depending
on the rest of the relation, peoples thruthfullness and
goodness, etc. Oh, I'm talking adult (can I say that?)
sex here not a limited, unfullfilling variation.
Does the above exclude other relations, including sexual ones?
No, I think, agaiin after a lot of thoughs, that the answer is
that this may even be desirable. Consider the various phases
in (also biblical life as well.
Jeanet K. is one of them, I'm quite sure she has tried through
imagery make clear to me that more than ordinary events have
taken place in her life, and she even tried to spell it out
by handing me articles about metaphores...
It is no secret I was in love with (and loved) her, and at various
occasions I couldn't understand the contrary signals she seemed to
emit, sending me a postcard with an invitation for eating
whipped cream cake alternated with writing me she didn't want to
relate to me in a more than friendly way at the time was
examplatory for the confusion I felt confronted with in many other
ways. I can have varying thougths as to the meaning and reasons
for them, and want at least to make clear that I gather that
a lot more people have wanted to interfere with the course of
events, and that an infringement on personal freedom on the
level of relationships is not something to take lightly.
Or she just considered me nice, which would be all too contrary
with what she expressed in my perception.
There are not a few others, some of which I have addresses of,
or that I never got very near with, or with whom less personal
relationships existed:
Clair, who I talked to on a party, and liked very much
but didn't come on to her more when I regularly met her later
because she had a boyfriend I didn't want want to steal her
away from, I'm not sure for all the good reasons, and certainly
she took a place I'd have liked her to be in more.
Of course Annemiek, one of the singers of the band I played
keyboard in for some time (smiled a lot after band practice).
Yvonne, Melinda's sister, not the same connection in my mind,
but I found her friendly and attractive, I just didn't understand
what her game was.
Several people I recently met in Amsterdam, who appearently
feared a lot more what was all going on than I was aware of.
I'm not sure what the value of a list like that is, and I'm sure I'm forgetting some people, but at least it expresses some things I felt and which were meaningfull to me.