Major questions and (preliminary?) answers
Can one feel as closely related as a wife (in the non-buying,
non-possesive, non-forced, not-married, and not missing the
goal sense) with more than one person? I think it is possible,
but it took me a lot of consideration, and it doesn't seem
obvious, or something to particularly strife for.
Is agape^ too limited for that, or will grace (charis, free gift, outward beauty, graciousness) abound? That will only be clear by testing (for some biblical persons it seemed fitting), I think it could well be fitting and (personally) desirable, but have not too much unambiguous experience to start thinking from.
Does a 'as a wife' relation include sex? Obviously, that supposedly is a not irrelevant part, and from my (limited) experience I would say it is possible to share that with more than one, and that it is a mian fullfillment in life when it works, evidently depending on the rest of the relation, peoples thruthfullness and goodness, etc. Oh, I'm talking adult (can I say that?) sex here not a limited, unfullfilling variation.
Does the above exclude other relations, including sexual ones? No, I think, agaiin after a lot of thoughs, that the answer is that this may even be desirable. Consider the various phases in (also biblical life as well.
Jeanet K. is one of them, I'm quite sure she has tried through
imagery make clear to me that more than ordinary events have
taken place in her life, and she even tried to spell it out
by handing me articles about metaphores...
It is no secret I was in love with (and loved) her, and at various occasions I couldn't understand the contrary signals she seemed to emit, sending me a postcard with an invitation for eating whipped cream cake alternated with writing me she didn't want to relate to me in a more than friendly way at the time was examplatory for the confusion I felt confronted with in many other ways. I can have varying thougths as to the meaning and reasons for them, and want at least to make clear that I gather that a lot more people have wanted to interfere with the course of events, and that an infringement on personal freedom on the level of relationships is not something to take lightly. Or she just considered me nice, which would be all too contrary with what she expressed in my perception.
There are not a few others, some of which I have addresses of,
or that I never got very near with, or with whom less personal
Clair, who I talked to on a party, and liked very much
but didn't come on to her more when I regularly met her later
because she had a boyfriend I didn't want want to steal her
away from, I'm not sure for all the good reasons, and certainly
she took a place I'd have liked her to be in more.
Of course Annemiek, one of the singers of the band I played keyboard in for some time (smiled a lot after band practice).
Yvonne, Melinda's sister, not the same connection in my mind, but I found her friendly and attractive, I just didn't understand what her game was.
Several people I recently met in Amsterdam, who appearently feared a lot more what was all going on than I was aware of.
I'm not sure what the value of a list like that is, and I'm sure I'm forgetting some people, but at least it expresses some things I felt and which were meaningfull to me.