I've decided after good example to write some diary pages with toughts and events.
Oh, in case anybody fails to understand, I'd like to remind them that these pages are copyrighted, and that everything found here may not be redistributed in any other way then over this direct link without my prior consent. That includes family, christianity, and other cheats. The simple reason is that it may well be that some people have been ill informed because they've spread illegal 'copies' of my materials even with modifications. Apart from my moral judgement, that is illegal, and will be treated as such by me. Make as many references to these pages as you like, make hardcopies, but only of the whole page, including the html-references, and without changing a iota or tittel...
And if not? I won't hesitate to use legal means to correct wrong
that may be done otherwise. And I am serious. I usually am. I'm not sure
I could get 'attempt to grave emotional assault' out of it, but infrigement
on copyright rules is serious enough. And Jesus called upon us to respect
the authorities of state, so christians would of course never do such a
thing. Lying, imagine that.
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Supposing one is known in most environments where one ends up, through gossip, the spiritual or some other ways or combinations, wouldn't necessarily change such, though it potentially does, and especially when a lot is at stake, it can be imagined normal communication means undergo alterations outside the average or desirable.
Supposing that the situation includes groups and individuals of evil and dangerous enouh nature who I am against, who blackmail and oppress other when they get the chance, it might be that people are affraid of such a situation, and therefore do not respond anywhere near normal.
Suppose that a combination of such factors is present in strong enough form, it might be that everyone wanting to pass the lines drawn out by lets call it the equivalent of the effect of the mob, or lets say the silence and slipperyness of a religeous sect with its mysterious mores and taboos and secrets to be kept at high price, finds they are instead of normally human considers traitors of an evil system and threatened not to do so.
The observations of a hopeless schizofrenic willing to use his intelligence to squirm his way out of the obligatory nuthouse treatment before the mark of able to work will be reinstated slowly and under major thought control? No. I don't think that tune will be tried in that way for real again, I think we've had that one. I don't think the ones that tried will dare again, I don't think so. I don't challence such neccessarily, though I do want to be remindfull that such situation has for real had to be countered by me, which is hardly pleasant, and pretty much a major loss for a country and maybe world that might want to make better use of capabilities, unless such are undesirable by some stupid doctrine or values system, or not remarkable enough to take notice of, or unless talents are jsut in the way to built our great tower which will in the end bless us all more than anything anyway. I've recently observed the kind like my mother so treacherously has been when she once again tried to get her way into my life and this time mess it up for real and maybe for good years ago. Lets say the older women who never understood or were willing to be even near good enough to make good use of the benefits of lets say reasonable formal opportunities for women to be edified and professionally capable and considered mature persons and capable of having sound opinions and when desired indepence, and who give a whole other content to the idea of insult by doing such so slimy, so wonderfully motherf*ingly, so lets say monroe but worse type of suckingness, and then (luckily) combined with such internal and possibly external uglyness and lets call it serious aging effects and stupidity to think that their attractiveness is even nearly good enough to even catch a normal mans' attention, that I've once again been surprised a few times at such behaviour. Maybe some things are dutch, to sort of when one is 50 get into the idea of normal enough teenage thinking, and then think the whole world is thrilled with the idea of a wonderfull giglish girl of 50 (with looks to go with it, and worse), that actually is nice and slimy, and all that stuff with someone, in ways the (their?) system normally lets no ordinary person be.
Oh boy, babylon again. And sometimes I have the idea they believe in it themselves, I'm not sure what is worse. Having ones' heart ripped out laughing is sort of the idea in the 'upper' babylonic rituals, I've read already 20 years ago, so I'm not sure their state of mind should be left to wither and die or exposed for the best effect, I don't know. But when they try to treat me as a little boy who should be thrilled with such wonderfull mommies attention, noone should be surprised that I see through the sharade and very easily think about what the downsides of such attitudes are, including actual betrayal of serious trust, to the point of nearly loosing ones' serious life.
So the man must stick together and plan such betrayal, and stick with it with all their might? No, I don't like the idea much of having to deal with such stuff at all, it bores me, I find it insulting to life in general and a lot more, not generally significant enough to pay much attention to, and probably to anchient, unhip, and lets say solved and done with subject to make more of than rejection of the kind, wanting to prevent potential victims to fall for it, and maybe get back at some evil-doers for correction or maybe compensation.
In fact if systems which induce such states are making some that way, that damnation on itself is effective, it just looks so, I donno, pityfill isn't the word, and unluckily, I'm affraid some children would easily by their preys so much I'll not consider that damnation enough.
The point of being known for being against certain systems and walks of life is not necessarily clear outside the personal. When one is against the social democrats because they don't care about the environment getting to waste, and waste their time with personally and partywise opportunistic bla about carreers and comma's and points, one has choices: at least such could be communicated, one could start or join another party, or get in the (methaphorical) sh*hole and be like hercules meets agius' stable, then there are choices.
What when the nazi's are called into power and tolerated or semi wanted there by two third of a country? Then shit realy hits the hakenkruis, I guess, and serious thinking and counteractions planning are called for, not in the least and certainly as one of the first in the intellectual, or at least sane thinking area. I'm quite sure that mein kampf being spread as it was already in 37 or so could have easily stopped a major amount of faith in the jew-like dwarf antichrist pathetic father wannabee sucker when read and sanely interpreted and though about a bit. The logic in it sucks so much it cannot be taken serious. The statements about just about anything in it are so lyerish and provably untrue that noone can take it realy serious with a bit of a right mind, and the rethoric in it doesn't even stink, it just screams 'you must accept me' and alles sal recth kom, in ways that only look convincing and strong and manly and leader-ish to a very superficial reader. 'Lets kill all the jews and the god of babylon will abolish itself out of sheer gratitude'. Then march to rome and its affiliates, and put the jews back in their own country if you want to make yourseld usefull and get some rewards and corrections. And make those wonderfull blond women into persons that at some points might actually love enough instead of being captivated, abused and turned into solder producing machine parts, to get you out of boyhood into even the christian idea of getting the f* out of you family misery and cling to them instead of your little model burocrat dwarfs' stupidity and march into your next beforehand known authoritive father needs crisis and rejection experience until you drop. Oh and kill the child abusers and make no use of their whores if you're affraid of f* sifilis, instead of sacrificing babies and children to the moloch and other deamons and just give the whole idea a 'new' name.
At least the socialists read James 4.
Now what does such a situation call for? Revolutionaries? No, not realy, though that may work in lucky cases. Political figures? Maybe someone that can go on stage next to hitler and blow that one a away with a premature version of 'we are the champions' at at least 500 kilowatts so much that the little motherf*'s won't know what hit them. Maybe. Jimmi's anthem interpretation wouldn't have cut it through that problem, I think, though I'm sure that in spirit I'm sure that purple haze would even have achieved serious attention in brittain, and be to the point and more effective than most other things. What a stess and drivenness is visible in those pre-war movies, seriously, those gestalts and tons of antichrists must have realy gotten to them, especially when the holy money subject got hit bad.
Leaders? Maybe, at point, I guess even orators. Teachers, professors, media persons, no doubt, though it all boils down to somehow the mercy being there to get out of the worst miseries and having or keeping a view toward freedom, some equality, some care or love, some life forms that are worth it, and such.
Religeous persons? Theoretically, I think so. When I wouldn't at least have had some teachings from some religeous persons that at least didn't mess up serious and dependable enough doctrine and related issues all that much, I wouldn't have been better of, and missed varous views I probably shouldn't be without.
On the other hand the whole existance of religeous persons as a concept in human sense without question costs more than its worth, generally speaking. One needs to advantage of finding some that are worth it to make the principle of listening and taking them serious acceptable even. And than in the end it comes down to God, if we believe in His existence, and identity of different nature than so many parties will claim they know about. And to whom He sends, when that is in order, and what He has to say, if we have ways of listening. And wether we are granted faith and space enough to listen to what He wants, because for certain what most other parties will want is to ugly and evil to even think much about.
R E S P E C T
Arita was probably aware enough of in my opinion normal womanhood, and publically clear at least about an essential ingredient of normal enough relations with some content and some potential to last. I was recently reminded of such things in practice again in live situation, which isn't a bad idea, and on itself not unpleasant, and it made me all to clear once again these are appearently hard enough subjects.
When one can't have a level in something oneself, onather way to deal with things, like many 6 year olds would easily know about, is to bring others down, and preferably even reverse things, though that takes an amount of adult stupidity not all are capable of at all times, which in semi religeous polical form which even projects the punishment only once in very long time seems to make it up to become a real killer issue, luckily.
Sin and forgiveness
Lets recap the 'normal' gospel that Jesus' has started to teach and apply, where awareness of sin precedes forgiveness and where God mercy is capable of bringing life and newness that may lead to acceptable persons and ways that God gives to life according to his good laws and for some in His Spirit.
So in short God in his mercy thinks about man in his sin and sinfull world and in spite of his allmight and mans' deprivaty and smallness and powerlessness He gives of what He can give out of grace and mercy, and without man having ever earnt the priviledge.
Not Verelst' doctrine, even many official (mainly seriously protestant) churches will officially have the same point of view, and clearly the bible (NT) has, maybe I should add in my opinion, but it says so explicitly in various passages, so authoritive teaching this way is not hard to account for.
The main point of quite some texts I've made in the past was the awareness of abuse and the unacceptability of live with that in it, and the consequences of what it may breed and give place to when not countered.
When I look around, I don't see the kinds of abuse Ive read and heard about that kill, wrape, torture, seriously inflict grave emotional and life wise wounds and blackmail so much that people don't know how to live anymore. I do see some of the effects, I'm sure, and I do see social abuse, relation wise abuse, abuse of power and money, of the principles of lets say preying one subordinates and victims and poorer ones, reversals and projections messing up almost completely what could be in normal relations, gross and rediculous behaviour, social ownership without clearly visible cause and of course without consitutional right (it is forbidden under dutch law, explicitly).
So what can be done about that? Various things, I'm sure. Unluckily for some of the ones that probably want to stay into some position of power, claim the effectiveness, infallibility (gmpff) and authority of certain doctrines and want to continue evilness over less equal fellow human beings backs, I do not believe in babylon, the idea of eternal enslavement to any stupid antichrist or implementaton of similar stupidiy, or hopelessness of practical life being influenced for the better by at least some reliable enough people taking service of god and out of God (the One I assume to be the real one) serious. Because history tells me so. The fact that I have in general lived a wealthy enough and in at least various ways reasonably free live is not that natural, but true still, and has been achieved in history, and thus far is there to stay more than enough, also quite noticable in europe and holland.
I won't be overly optimistic, but at least I do have the official and not that downthrotten right to choose my own religeon, to to some extent utter what I please, and to coverse and live with whom I want, as long as they want the same.
I seems that there is a serious twist in the whole thing, which does bother me and occupy my thinking to some extent, but still, officially and for various areas practically, that could be a hell of a lot worse.
Practically, as the romans ans greeks explicitly knew already, family ties, friends circuits, social systems, religious insanity and evil and sacrificial rites and rules, treacherousness and greed for power and glory and all such things are in the way of many desireabilities in life, even though quite some seem to reverse the principle by starting out with the idea that want a certain walk through all this, and that that is in fact their real quest in life, instead of wanting some of the more obvious qualities, such as happiness.
Now what happens when for instance I meet a nice girl, obviously not uninterested in me (hopefully, for the sake of argument lets assume so), and I observe that both in person and in the surroundings various in the meanwhile long correlated laws start to be put into motion. First, I unfortunately have to assume a serious probablity that her family didn't treat her right, and not that unlikely even quite bad. Second, it is not unlikely that there are signs or direct clues that her life is by family or other parties everything but normally free. Third, the protection certain parties need would make it hard to pick even any subject or communication idea without generating problems, especially when realness is involved, and actual data. Fourth, even when all works well enough, major it would seem like religeous observations seem to easily grasp hold int the environment or the person herself to make sure the great system and its image will not even feel the least offended or done short by such normal event of two people actually liking eachother instead of planning some horrible social sacrifice to the god of whatever to be admitted into the next babylonic circle. Imagine that the horrible proof would actually come into existance that such is possible at all. And forth, I'm sure the maffia will come by for their dues and acknowledgement of puffdaddy power through some arranged relation assh*, and the religeous wannabe leaders will immedeately crawl together and plot some devious plan to make a deal to either make a profit from the situation or mess it up to subdue it so thouroughly that preferably nothing excapes from their damning claws again.
By now, such observations are certified true enough to unfortunately not write of as irrelevant. I'm sure some consider it close to insanity to even want to be against all such ideas, but I maintain that historically I'm not wrong thinking my way is the better one, and that it is not unrealistic to fight evil and think one may at least win enough to make it worth while. Thank Jesus? Maybe, for certain subjects I'm sure He is a major reason for certain goods, for others, that would be anything between cheep propagande and slanderous lies, cunningly devised fables or misplaced religeous zeal and empty phrases.
So is courage required not to end up married with some pompous ass right into the whombs of the mothers and the systems of the fathers into a little quincunks of our own, making the system temporarily make the image of the beast speak with agreement, and starting the next wonderfull lie levels right until the highest circuit reached just about never?
Yes, I'm sure.
Is it better to persue even normal relations without the amourous or sexually or emotionally changed side to it, lets say normal friendships when every move against the allseeing eyes head freemasons great plans of life has to be punished and brought under a local representative of at least one big brother in lies and oppression? Without question, what's life worth otherwise, what is the point of it all if there isn't even normalness enough to begin with?
But shouldn't we fight sin by making it worse? Not at all, though I immedeately agree its stupid to trust bad or shady people for what they are not worth, or to give pearls to the pigs.
So should we strive to become happy shiny people? Not so much unless some may want to, that isn't the point, the point is about certain types of happiness or normalness in life, maybe certain selfrespect, fun, personhood in the acceptable, purposes in the desirable or honourable, life lines into something worth mentioning, and the freedom to share or not share any of such with some or with others. The end of all trouble? The only faint beginning of some, for sure, what was literature class potentially good for, again?
I remembered some things I've worked on that people may have interest in beside the clear scientific stuff, and I'll post a little list of mags I made.
The following is a quote from an email I send in reply to someone asking me about synthesizer circuitry, which contains information which is mainly intended to make clear how a potential, a voltage, can be regulated, and how the can be added in simple enough electronical circuits, and what the effects are that play a role in this making circuits work.
The idea is that a synthesizer block, it this case a voltage controlled oscillator, is to be given a certain voltage, for instance 3 Volt, or 5 Volt, or 2.45 volt, and also should be modulated in addition to this voltage, with another signal, for instance a varying, oscilatory signal with a slowly changing voltage. A potmeter is a resistor with a tap of which the position can be changed from one end of the resistor to the other by turning or sliding the potmeters controller, so that whenthe ends are connected to either end of a supply, like a battery, the sliding contact, or runner, picks a voltage from the resistor which can be varied between zero and the supply voltage.
An impedance is a resistance value, that is for instance when a battery is loaded with a light, the voltage, normally e.g. 1.5 volt, may drop a bit depending on the load of the lamp, which can be modeled as a infinetely strong (unchanging voltage) battery voltage source, internally followed by a small resistor.
The quote starts with answering wether a potmeter can be used to drive the vco to control its frequency.
That works fine, the only point to notice is the impedance of the potmeter and the input of the vco, when the impedance of the vco input is low in comparison with the potmeter, the midrange of the potmeter won't do much, and it will only respond at the ends of its range, where the resistance is low. Further, the specification depends on the range of the required voltage, that is the maximum and the minimum, which often is a matter of the right starting voltage at one end, and the right multiplication factor, or range, to cover the desired voltage range from that starting voltage onward. Alternatively, the pot can simply be connected to the two extreme voltages, so the range is set automatically. When the potmeter has a high impedance, shielded wires are in order, otherwise it will pick up hum (from the mains), and it can be considered to put a small capacitor over the input, to prevent potmeter noise and irregularities. Depending on what happens when the runner fails contact now and then, the input could have a prefered voltage that is convenient, which could be adjusted by some other voltage divider with high impedance, in parallel with the potmeter. > by his task I'll have a simple VCO with no modulation input(LFO).Second I > have to have > a Modulation input(LFO).I have to mix a AC with my dc-level-in(POT) input > which can modulate my simple vco in > a bandwidth. DO I NEED THIS MIXER?! I think, I need a mixer which can add My > main dc input(POT) and my ac signal > and the output of this circuit must be a valuable dc_level for modulating > the output of LM566(vco) In principle, voltages can be added over resistors by just tying them together at the input, and they'll mix in ratios reversely proportional with the impedance ratios, low impedance has the biggest effect. Mainly, the network becomes a star network: Va ---> R1 ---- | |-------------> Vinput | | Vb ---> R2 ---- | Rinput | | ___ The multiplication factor involved in going from Va to Vinput is Vinput = Va * (R2//Rinput) / (R1 +(R2//Rinput)) with R2//Rinput = 1/(1/R2+1/RInput). In short, when R1 and R2 are equal, and much smaller then Rinput, the voltages divide by two with respect to ground. When Rinput is very small, which can artificially be done by taking an opamp with feedback to create a virtual zero inpedance, the voltages simply add based on the ratios of the R1 and R2. The standard circuit is: |\ Va ---> R1 ---- |----|+\ | - | >--------> VInput |-------------|-/ | | | |/ | Vb ---> R2 ---- | | Rfeedback | | | ----------- Where the addition of Va and Vb becomes subject to the simpler equation: Vinput = -Va *(Rf/R1) -Vb * (Rf/R2) , or just the ratios of the feedback and the input resistors. Because the circuit inverts, another circuit just like it, with one input, and equal feedback and R1 might be used to invert the output of the mixer to become positivily multiplied (e.g. by 1) overall, or maybe to add some more amplification. There is no reason to not add more inputs to such a circuit, pretty much as many as you like, they simply will all add up, and a hundred of them is no problem. AC coupling is always easy enough: just add a capacitor to the input path, and make sure that it will charge up to the right average value. The value of the capacitor should be such that the lowest frequencies that you still want to tranfer are not filtered of, which can be computed by the formula: Fcutoff = 1/(2*pi*R*C), where Fcutoff is the -3dB point where the circuit will start to cut off lower frequencies, R is the effective impedance the capacitor 'sees', and C is the value of the capacitor. The lowest frequencies available in your modulator source must pass through without becoming distorted, which might require a pretty big capacitor, since modulation may be up to .2 herz or so easily. Because of this, and because the AC coupling also will give you transients and startup clicks/plops to think about, you may want to consider simply dc coupling the modulation source, and making sure the offset is right. The main point of the whole mix is that the ratios of the signals end up right, and then the total offset must add up right as well. All DC offsets add up through the mixer circuit, and assuming all mixing is static, only the total offset needs to be set right, possibly by simply adding an offset pot and mixer input channel. The output impedance of the opamp stages is almost negilible, so can be considered zero, for channels that mix from other sources, the Ra and Rb are the actual resistors (when present), in series with the source impedances. For the potmeter connected as voltage divider between the supply voltage and ground, the impedance varies between half the potmeter value and zero, which means that when half the potmeter impedance is significant in comparison with the mixing resistor the mixing ratio for this and other channels may vary with the position of the potmeter, in the best case changing the effective scale of the potmeter to be stretched towards the ends, in the worst case making the whole mix dependent on every potmeter setting. When an opamp mixer is used, at least the input channels will be independent, that is their respective inpedances, dynamic or static, do not influence each others' mix ratios. Some output need certain minimum impedances as loads to remain functional or linear, and nonlinearities may also occur for certain type of driver stages when they have to drive impedances with high offset voltage inputs, that is when the default, no signal situation makes the output draw current. The opamp approach also solves this problem, because for each input, the offset current for zero input voltage is negligable for these types of circuits and modern opamps. The more advanced consideration are for equipment which has to be accurate, like measurement equipment, for which for instance the moog instruments are known. With modern parts and prices it is not of much concern to use quite some good enough opamps in the the signal paths of synth control voltages, though even today, a few millivolts of offset per opamp is not unusual, and with 1 Volt per octave that's a part of a cent pitch difference adding up all the time, probably temperature dependent which may not be optimal. And the circuits need to be hum and noise and glitch free enough, too.
The Journal of Eukariotic Microbiology Microbiology Neuroscience Molecular Cell Biology Research Communications Molecular and Cellular Neuroscience Biophysics & Molecular Biology Biophysics Trends in Cell Biology Trends in Neurosciences
Simply because I happened to stumble on them, and they're interesting, some waveguide related references:
Waveguide references ( http://www-ccrma.stanford.edu/~jos/smithbook/ ) Ruiz 1969 Ruiz, P. M. 1969. A Technique for Simulating the Vibrations of Strings with a Digital Computer. Ph.D. thesis, Music Master Diss., Univ. Ill., Urbana. Chaigne 1992 Chaigne, A. 1992. ``On the use of Finite Differences for Musical Synthesis. Application to Plucked Stringed Instruments.'' Journal of the d'Acoustique, 5(2):181-211. Chaigne and Askenfelt 1994 Chaigne, A., and A. Askenfelt. 1994. ``Numerical Simulations of Piano Strings. I. A Physical Model for a Struck String Using Finite Difference Methods.'' Journal of the Acoustical Society of America, 95(2):1112-1118. Elmore and Heald 1969 Elmore, W. C., and M. A. Heald. 1969. Physics of Waves. New York: Dover.
I've just done a little bwise work to get neuron like blocks a bit further, though not directly a model, I've looked at a tangent hyperboic function, and made a little block that implements such function, both for single values, and for acting on a list of input values, which of course given the state of bwise is quite easy, except maybe not very user interface supported, the functions for the blocks are just functions, and contain 'foreach' loops for instance, which must be programmed by hand.
The idea is that I used the oscilloscope block with a fire function to draw a graph of the output list, in this case the tanh function, which works fine. I fed a sine into the tanh, and played with the multiplicaion factor, which is nice in graphical form, the tanh clips both smooth and fast, though all this is nothing special, a few function and a math graph package would do the trick, except that these networks can be changed graphically, and there is nothing against making rhe blocks run dynamically.
The main point would be not so much to use the same circuit necessarily I showed last week with the nonlinear driving of the neurons included, though that should work fine, but take on a serious membrane and lets say fireing simulation function, and then make the whole thing responsive, as an experiment.
The book I mentioned seems fine, also including firing models, which I'll look into, combined with some of the articles I've been browsing, interesting enough models should result, though I'm certain that for a good model, the nano and molecular / physical level are needed, too, conseridering what the biochemistry textbooks and later data make clear, have a look at the mpeg movies, way too much variation occurs in the cytoplams to be explained by simple diffusion and migration and electrical models, so as I anticipated, like in transistors for instance, the molecular structure and surface properties at quantum level may well average out to be non-negligable contribitions to a neurons behaviour.
I read some rat brain cells show chirps of resonances of 200 herz, way below membrane potential voltages, together with some fundings about the parallel occurence of the peaks of such oscilations, I have more to read.