Theo Verelst Diary Page

Wed sept 19 2001, 12:13 PM

I've decided after good example to write some diary pages with toughts and events.

Oh, in case anybody fails to understand, I'd like to remind them that these pages are copyrighted, and that everything found here may not be redistributed in any other way then over this direct link without my prior consent. That includes family, christianity, and other cheats. The simple reason is that it may well be that some people have been ill informed because they've spread illegal 'copies' of my materials even with modifications. Apart from my moral judgement, that is illegal, and will be treated as such by me. Make as many references to these pages as you like, make hardcopies, but only of the whole page, including the html-references, and without changing a iota or tittel...

And if not? I won't hesitate to use legal means to correct wrong that may be done otherwise. And I am serious. I usually am. I'm not sure I could get 'attempt to grave emotional assault' out of it, but infrigement on copyright rules is serious enough. And Jesus called upon us to respect the authorities of state, so christians would of course never do such a thing. Lying, imagine that.

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Wed 19 Sept 2001, 12:12 PM

Of course I've thought and communicated about the latest deliberate desasters in new york, and my main thought has been to want to know what is behind such irrational behaviour, just like, and maybe simular to other kinds of evil I'm faced with for some time already. 

Madening wine

This section will be on one of the themes surrounding the recent plane assaults that I can trace to new testament logic, and I think they are relevant, probably especially in europe. This weekend I was reading the New Internation Version translation, which speaks about 'the madening wine of her fornication', which made me wonder about the term 'madening', from the greek lookup I did yesterday it seems that the word is destructive or something to that extend, but I should check all verses and every word.

The persuit of happyness.

James 1, the first book of the new testament ever written, as far as I can trace speaks about something in the line of the desirabilty to lead the way in the implementation of happyness and what is pleasurable, assuming the right is there, and that the perfect law of freedom God gives not just enables this, but assumes one takes on that role.

I was wondering wether the image mentioned in that same biblebook of the ripples or waves could also be in the same image of the reflection, sort of like mirroring oneself in a water, and messing the image up by making waves.

Ther might be many alternative explanations to the rain comparison, but I remember the old testament story as we have it in our translation where Elijah (I think it was) has to do with a woman ruler jezebel who persecutes and who seems to have made god punish the country by having a dry period for already three years, and the prophet elia is told to go to a mountain because he prayed for rain and God said it would come, which first doesn't happen, and then a little cloud appears, and afterward it rains and there is some runnning of that same person I think in fleeing from a ruler, I should read it again, this was primary school...

The catholic teaching about the reason for man being on earth is in line with the stairway to heaven kind of babylonic teaching where man has the insulting position of being able to earn their way to God, which is not in line with the old or new testament: in the old God chose his people, the jews, who were given the priviledge of the law and indeed  works within that election to make them aware of Gods mercy of salvation, and how that was to be brought about, filled in by the coming of Jesus. In the new testament, salvation is under the law of mercy and grace, as a  free gift, and of course as response one will want to honour the One giving it, preferably by listening to what He makes clear of commands. The stairway to heaven song (led zeppelin, of course) sais well what horrible deep sadness and sorrow and gloomy hopelessness and forced works there are in the babylonic type of building a tower to the heavens and climbing its stairs. One would better take a rocket, and find out God isn't necessarily nearer even on the moon or mar, and is probably not very impressed with such buildings, as compared to the size of His universe.

So we must all team with the rulers (it sais 'presbeturoi' also translated as 'elders') of the earth who are convinced by a strong delusion that the only way to get some of Gods life is to commit adultary against Gods spirit together with that great mother of whores who sits over the waters with the abominations in her cup. The city on the seven hill where she is supposed to have started her New Babylon in the time of writing of revelation was commonly known to be Rome, where Peter is lied about has having been the the stone on which the catholic system has been built, while in fact that rock is Christ and Peter is only one of the stones in the comparison.

Israel was very warned for babylon, its idols, its ways and its sacrifices, before in punishment it was taken there in exile, which I'm sure was very unpleasurable. In new testament we are supposed to demask reveal or unveil, expose and bring down the mysteries that make the babylonic lie work.

What is it that the rulers of the earth are intoxicated with the whine of the fornication of that great whore, there must be a damnation God gives to make it so that those 'self'-es and their images of themselves and the world and they in it see nothing else than that miserable system.

Since such convictions are of a religious nature, and alternative may be to have no religion at all in leading places, though I'm sure that the general work of the Holy Spirit to convince of sin and judgement isn't missed by many altogether, it was historically not a bad idea to seperate the affairs of state mainly from any form of general religion.

I guess what goes with the fruit of that great whore as a semi religeous spiritual babylonic system of beliefs, sacrifices, rituals, mysteries are fellow and counter reactions like 'the joy of wrape', obviously a cynical statement, not so hard to give position in the whole of sin, the idea that some great nazi beast must be given authority to get away from enduring the great motherf* all day long. But when people check up on every move, probably not all can be tracked and copied all the time, so probably the ones God sends are of prime interest, being under an altar or not, it seems their blood is tasty, according to the revelation image. I'm sure the taking or stealing of faces (see the greek for 'accepting persons') as in copying peoples face, and trading with the assumes identity is clear enough and important enough image in James, and that the first new testament warning, before the antichrists and the nicolaitian (catholic) system swarmed the world, is to be taken for one of the main ones for this dispensation of grace, and that the change in the new babylon has to do with the copying of the true Christ and Holy Spirit by those seeking power, glory, riches, and making and keeping of lies in deluded ways.

When that whole miserable game has its counterpart in the destructiveness and poorness in spirit and soul that makes for mafia systems and their political counterparts, people may want oppression of others to compensate for ones' own enslavement, or hurt others like you've been hurt/ are affraid to be hurt, and the whole becomes unworkable hell soon enough, as probably to some degree was the intention of the one making people deluded enough to belief such as is described in the book of revelation and warned for in more than a few new  testament letters, because I'm sure it takes a strong delusion to belief in the mysterries of the great whore and to want to become drunk with spiritual adulterousness while God mercy is freely available. Probably to make sure sane enough persons like John would only be appalled and amazed at such misery and stupidity.

In all this, the authority of Christ is the same as it has ever been, just as well as the spiritually legal positio of serious believers.The final authority over this world and over life and death is of Christ, as it is clearly stated, e.g. 'I (Jesus) have the keys to death and hades', that means no matter what tricks the world systems or one of its components want to occupy itself with, and with the aid of pathetically power greedy satanists maybe prepare if they think they can for centuries, based on the prophecies of the Spirit who is the spirit of truth, the final power always is still with that Son of God who defeated even death and who is holy and mercyful, no matter how much a rock of offence He might be to them who seek to take His obviously powerful place.

In all these games, besides sanity and obiedience to the true God, discernment appears to be of esential value, meaning the capacity to discern what is what and who is who in spirit and the perseverance to stick with that.

Is the statue of mary also miraculously that same person with that authority (gmpf)? Can the Holy Spirit be discerned from occult sources, of which the historic head loves to present itself as angel of light (and not of darkness) ?

Of courtse, but I'm sure the words of Peter are quite true, that there is a strong delusion in this world which for reasons God has keeps many, many form sticking with the obvious in this respect.

The corruption in the world is of course a major root for desiring a lie ratherr than the truth. It is mentioned clearly enough that those who follow the real Jesus will: Acts (3?): escape from the curruption in this world (though we don't get away from the world).

Fake religions and their place
All untrue religions will in the end be gathered up into a whole by the great whore of the new babylon, and that process can historically already be easily traced i a major way.

Why are people in fake religions? Are they 'given' by the Holy Spirit ? Are they dangerous? What is the only cure ?

Just some questions and statement that I leftin place after I did some quick thinking about the subjects. Without question, the subject of demonically inspired, and therefore without question also spiritually relevant (though usually stupid and lame and invariably bad for its believers and others) religions is ancient and completely covered already in biblical writing, and from the old testament prophets it seems that every essential variation, it horrors and Gods dealings with them is know already for thousands of years, so there most likely is nothing new under the sun in that department. God is agaisnt them. God is almighty, and when he is made jeleous of His own spirit, he is always the stronger party, which becomes clear only when in the end or soon enough He makes the necessary corrections.

There is usually no profit at all living in a delusion, it would seem, deamons and the persons making up the various delusive systems are neither a very pleasant or trustworhty or giving party, and when God is tempted so to speak to be mercyfull for the sake of profit of mankind, I don't think He'll often make it worth their while.

Native Instruments

Not meaning to advertise, I tried the demo's of both the 'B4' and the 'pro-52' instrument simulation programs again, after I installed windows 2000 on a reasonable machine for the job, which apart from obvious keyboard hassle is worth quite some playing effort. Both instruments may not be quite the real thing, but certainly offer their share of imitation and sound power, and its even possible to put both to work simulatneously and then run a midi in media player to play along with. Some string chords with a lesleyed and drive-d b3 hand-wide chord with various rich and subtle drawbar settings would be worth having the real things, a sequencer, and a good amp.

I've tried the string simulator with openGL, and I can get at least 3 strings in realtime, and the opengl stuff compiles and runs fine under 2000 with cygwin, a almost 1000 squared pixel truecolor screen with few hundred polygon smooth shaded models (for instance from glui examples) renders fast enough to have smooth enough part of a second updates when rotated, though the update of the glui compoments in the 2d windows can be quite slow, even to the point of being not good enough, and texts can't be cut and paste'ed, which is not so nice for string simulator interface, though won't stop me from a prototype interface making all filter, non-linear and
initialisation paramers (run-time) accessible.

The Tcl httpd web server  runs fine, just as bwise, except that the tcl/tl 8.3.3 or so I installed because I happened to have downloaded it is sometimes unstable, which is mentioned though, and as it seems not dependent on machine or operating system.

Sat Oct 6 2001, 20:00PM

As a good habit going through the latest new york review of books, which arrive in the library I often read them irregularly, I last time was going through the latest two, one of them almost starting of with an article from a dissident chinese person, now teaching at an american university, who experienced the chinese authorities questioning him quite long and hard when visiting his family in china, of course for being somehow a threat to the established leadership.

The subject being a leftish subject of all times on a century timescale, I was of course well aware of in my student time and before, though it seems to have been sort of absent for some time, apart from the general human rights issue, which I recall having been brought forward in political sense repeatedly.

Of course china is far away, though big and of military and growing economical and environmental relevance, but I vividly remember books I read as teenager about those wanting to profess their christian faith in that and other countries and being persecuted for wanting to live (genuinely, I hope) according to the teachings of a jew two thousand years ago calling himself the actual son of god, appearantly with geneology, wisdom, miracles and signs making Himself credible. They were harrassed, put in prison, tortured and even put to death, and had to lead a very uncertain life for their beliefs, even in the time 'enlightenment' of certain kinds struck the chinese continent.

Because I was conscously occupying myself with a faith I considered private and certainly not open for censorship in that time, too, I could easily understand the agony of people in such a horrible place in more than one way, even though they weren't starving as more than a few on this earth for some reason seem to end up. I found it important that there were people occupying themselves with such a situation and the people in it, for instance getting them bibles when they want, and other kinds of encouragement or support.

In the same time I was quite aware of the lets say not all too good types of faith who would only be alternative power systems of possibly the same oppressive nature as the regimes they may suffer from, but being a fair person myself, I could imagine people suffering simply because of their beliefs is a bad thing luckily raised centuries ago in the west, and outlawed since. It seems to me that there are more than a few people quite unaware of the value and necessity of such rules for letting a law of relative freedom work at least enough to live with. Since the alledged bankrupcy or extintification of principles maybe a decade or two ago, raising the then (in circles I was in or read or saw programs about) obvious enough subjects of self-determination (freedom according to also dutch constitution in general, to chose one's own labor, and be unhindered in uttering religeous and personal beliefs), of letting the extreme go to hell (talk with such or simply ignore them to death), being in favour of some amount of mercy and fair distribution of resources and power, and being aware of the implications of privacy infringing measures such as obligatory ID's, car tracking devices like for payroads, phone tapping in general and by state institutions, etc, isn't even easy to begin with, or get serious agreement on, let alone implement or deal with easily. Where the right wing side would be that certain private rights mustn't be meddled with too much, and the mid field would need to reconcile the 'christian' side of things with finances and the f* the authoratative rulers attitude in various variations.

Or was it just my idee-fix that things could more or less run that way? No, I'm sure, but what happened? No more ideologies, why is that?

After ample consideration and lets say perception and observation, only a few very unhonorable reasons seem to survive above the surface of possibilities, being of a evil mankind and religeous nature. In short, when the illuminati are for real, and I'm sure they still are in various forms, and indeed responsible for instance for the financing of major parts of both world wars, as I belief is more than credible, their quest for world dominion in lets say human and riches and power structure sense must not have ended yet, and so many evil rich people with nothing else to do then spent their incredible amounts of riches on such purposes must have effect.

The other, less general and acceptable reason seems to lie in the spiritual and the religeous. Historically very valid: when people realy belief in some truth or lie, it will affect their lives considerably, and decisively even to live and death at times.

I'm sure the for instance satanists I also read about long ago still exist, though I think not so gloriously, and freighten unstable souls, people of evil considerations and of wrong religions, for instance.

Historically, the groups may not coincide, but definately exhibit overlap, and the combination may be quite influential for groups of people not stably routed in sanity of proven value. The concept of demagogues and 'fuehrers' and evil intended religeous persons and parties of authority (like historically the catholic power system) of course not being very usefull for the edification in sanity and soberness of the masses of people who may be more interested in the hidden messages in some soap series than obtaining a solid and sane enough world view with the power to last and make them themselves thrive instead of wither and become senseless and replacable slaves of and system of exploitation and evil intent.

In the times of the old testament, and still, there were people almost exclusively occupying themselves with the miserable ways of raising up sacrifice meat and engaging in all kinds of secret or miserable rituals where the moloch or baal or mammon deamons would need to be somehow satisfied. The medicin men or high priests or whatever of such cults would be considered head magicians or something, and stay in power through their horribleness, cunningness, the aid of chinese fireworks during seances, or, as is world history, by working on peoples counsciousness and nerves and religeous feelings and guilt.

None of them is even remembered much, and there is no speak of enlightenment of any kind with probably any single one of them, though without question their followers had to kiss quite some * to keep their egos in a state where they'd be satisfied to know that they realy were the only representatives of almighty God on this earth, or at least can get away with claiming some kind of occult incredibleness until that true God gets down on them in the end.

Luckily for me and many others, there were man who did think about the essence of life, and about sanity and about what can make the world be saved instead of tick towards its own (probably deserved) doom.

I'm sure that the Holy Spirit would have picked another man (or woman) if Calvin or Luther wouldn't have been serious about such work, but all the same, the 'progress' western society has been mercified with has produced official consitution quite in line with sanity and blissfull biblical values, state systems with intrinsic values for freedom and truthfull and credible and sane enough leadership, which should very much not be taken for granted, or drawn from by taking their power away and erode them by fundamental corruption.

It is not hard to make a babylonic mythical system, and sacrifice everyone to the first demon that comes along and laughingly die in pain. It is not easy to live according to democratic values, and persue happiness and use and maintain freedom for good, and deal with the world and its subsystems sanely at least. That takes more than a lame mind, a satanist stupidy and mother worship, going along with every obviously corrupted lead from hidden circuits with little personal gains, or acceptance of unequality in this world on the basis of complete unjustice.

It is easy to blame the jews for taking all the riches in the world and mess up the upright northeners calling themselves by the name of some ancient indians who knew all to well they were not the chosen ones holding the laws of the eternal god. It is easy to say and follow that an incredible sacrifice of the masses of these people will of course offset an incredible change in the spiritual, and have almost incredible effects, as all natural people with a gut feeling from mother gaia off course already knew very well before they were born, though of course such illucent Eternal Knowledge is only disclosed to a few velly special and great chosen ones.

Seriously I have the idea I daily pass some by for who such stupidity is nothing in comparison with what they buy in their own lives.

Seriously, how does one fight such stupidity ?

By exposure, truth, spiritual power, and most obviously by staying sane enough, for instance to point at the motication the average layman must have outside religeous consideration, which would better be true, to buy it that those incredible leading circles have more money and goods then most ever see together, yet demand others to work without ever a chance to get free even, and never give away some of their riches to show their good intentions to the many work or socuak security slaves. Bit gullible, are we?

Why should gouvernment leaders who live of non-negligable, more the average wages by other peoples tax money get away with being more stupid or irresponsible then I and get the glory and my honour on top of it? Let them be tested and work towards good enough purposes with intelligent persons following them to make sure they don't mess up. That is all not too hard to understand, but if a majority of the dutch are quite into the dutch demonic authority of schizofrenia control, or its alternative, the indonesian 'wajang' because otherwise they's look so poor spiritually compared to some very important persons, try and explain them the the giving over of children to one of the parties available thereto is actually not a good idea, or purpose in life, and certainly not christian, and the people with salaries to lead a country shouldn't even be into that shit, as a selection criterion to give them such a position in the first place. There is evil enough in the world as it stands already, there is no need for more.

In Paradise lost, this poem is quoted refering to the threats of the various 'gods' through our history, and the relevance, probably, of realizing the new testament, considering Pauls' encounter with the greek, and his probably being taken more than a little serious by them, has not little to say about the subject.

The Return

See, they return; ah, see the
Movements, and the slow feet,
The trouble in the pace and the

See, they return, one, and by one,
With fear, as half-awakened;
As if the snow should hesitate
And murmur in the wind,
        and half turn back;
These were the "Wind'd-with-

Gods of the winged shoe!
With them the silver hounds,
         sniffing the trace of air!

Haie! Haie!
      These were the swift to harry;
These the keen-scented;
These were the souls of blood,

Slow on the leash,
         pallid the leash-men!

                        Ezra Pound
                        Selected Poems
                        (new directions
                        1949, p. 24)

Mon Oct 8 2001, 16:15PM

Still not having tricked or convinced the windows 2000 server to do all network stuff I wat it to do, though not at all dismayed because much is clear enough, at least there is no problem doing some major things of use, such as trying the tcl server, in fact I've also tried the infocetera web server and utlity suite, which runs fine, and lets user make their accounts, agendas with shared information on a tcl based server with as it seems good performance and good maintainablility, letting my library with pcom and bwise and other routines run and be tested, also with the perseus greek lookup tools, though I noticed they seem to have changed the greek coding and text format. The hgedit windows with greek and hebrew typable and convertable characters and web page generator works fine, and it may be worth it letting the persues greek lexicon be scanned for some parts of the greek of the new testament, automatically, building a local database of complete and hopefully correct greek tranlations.

I've downloaded j2ee and at least the two or three most relevant servers run fine, letting a test sql database be accessed from java serverbased pages with the example address book application, which at least is significant contemporary knowledge, it seems, though it remains a bit far out there to use a compiled language on a virtual machine the way java does, and efficiency is probably not great, package size wise and execution timewise. The whole of tcl/tk and their web server example is maybe a few megabytes, and run quite efficient in terms of server data throughput, while java jdk 1.3 alone is over 30 Megabytes download already, and j2ee at least the same, which is noting much for a modern machine, but still an incredible amount of code to serve some database embedded web pages with authoring and encryting.

A small tcl library I tried to do xml parsing, in a scheme a bit like the ancient lex, and some of the j2ee example xmls can easily be read by it, which makes much in that world come together easiily.

I''ve put the synth tape I made some time ago in a windows media file, its big, about 5 meg, but I'll see if it fits on my site, so those interested can hear the Z80 machine in practice which is described on my synth pages. It is a digitisation of an audio cassette tape from my walkman, through a regular soundcard, so far from perfect, and of course the audio encoding doesn't help top hifi specs either, but the impression is useful enough.

With the use of media encoder, I captured some demonstration version b3 and prophet5 imitation programs played on the computer keyboard, which is without question fun. Both these files are windows media files, and not specifically prepared, they are raw materials. I'll see it i see chance to make some decent mp3 cuts with examples, that at least would be good advertisement.

I've just tried downloading the latter soundfile, which is not fine just clicking, but with the right button in netscape using 'save as..' works fine it seems. I noticed that sometimes windows media player sound distorted and uglu while for instance the yahoo player sound fine, I didn't check it out, just a comment.