Theo Verelst Diary Page

Tue Dec 18 2001, 0:29 AM

I've decided after good example to write some diary pages with toughts and events.

Oh, in case anybody fails to understand, I'd like to remind them that these pages are copyrighted, and that everything found here may not be redistributed in any other way then over this direct link without my prior consent. That includes family, christianity, and other cheats. The simple reason is that it may well be that some people have been ill informed because they've spread illegal 'copies' of my materials even with modifications. Apart from my moral judgement, that is illegal, and will be treated as such by me. Make as many references to these pages as you like, make hardcopies, but only of the whole page, including the html-references, and without changing a iota or tittel...

And if not? I won't hesitate to use legal means to correct wrong that may be done otherwise. And I am serious. I usually am. I'm not sure I could get 'attempt to grave emotional assault' out of it, but infrigement on copyright rules is serious enough. And Jesus called upon us to respect the authorities of state, so christians would of course never do such a thing. Lying, imagine that.

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Tue Dec 18 2001, 0:28

Maybe not daily, but as I have reasonable opportunity and time to spent somehow in internet sense, I'll follow the reasonable impulse to write about some subjects I've thought about or dealt with, or which appear to be usefull to write about, considering at least there are readers, and that later on there may be more, I at least feel there is direct use, too, apart from formulating my thoughts.

Theosophy, The freemason, the nazi gazette, the rotary chronical and the illuminati's bible ?

The fist is an actual magazine I found on the university library shelves, not even an unserious or describing one, but as it seems from their own circles, the rest I made up...

Seriously though, I found the magazine, and of course didn't resist picking it up, not being affraid in the least I might actually buy some of their ideas to my damnation, and oh yes, there it they were the wonderfull new age like and general illuminati lower circle non sense and dangerous enough tricks and doctrines and errors.

Sort of like 'jesus said I am the way the truth and the life, and therefore of course we all also are our own truth and life, and somewhere along the path of making our salvation we'll decide to void ourselves and let the wonderfull multicoloued light of nothingness into our souls and understand that only if we realy give ourselves up we will fund the absense of our miserble selves and project godhood in the total weightlessness of our thoughts and arrive at the next level of consciousness which of course is infinetely better then normal sanity, and a sure way up the ladder to the illuminated ones who of course will be rich and in heaven for ever, but it will take some a lifetime to sucker for it and never get there of course which is even better for our karma when we reincarnate as mice in the next life. Or something, the first part being quite close to actual phrases even I remember from the A5 periodical booklet in scientific like print. Amazing. Emtpy yourself let it all go, and you'll be seeing some wonderfull light and become better person.

Now lets see, what am I actually against here? First of all the emptying may be fine on a tropical island sipping a nice drink with a nice woman sinking in a warm estetically pleasing bay at sunset, with good relaxation level, but not in a study or meeting room with the idea of getting free from what is in man and in spirit world normally. One will not cease to be sinner and part of a bad world system through sheer meditation, though I guess it may help to sit down and think quietly, I guess that helps prevent heart attacks.

Second 'opening up' to let in some wonderfull light almost certainly will open you up to the (demonic) spirit world, which is never a good idea, ever, I'm sure. There is no path in there anyone will ever benefit from, they are a curse, a damnation and serve no other purpose than that to anyone, ever, not even to 'win' or 'be one top' of them or something, nonsense, they bad and annoying little pests and no one ever needs them unless for being damned. Especially if some experience involved coloured light effect, angels of light without question are involved, and one would need to be delivered from one or more deamons when having exposed oneselvelves to such 'light' and accepted some doctrines, tricks, mantra's, images, chants, and such. Reject that stuff in yourself, if you want in Jesus' name, and cast or have the deamon or demons cast out in His name, which is a working of miracles available in the spiritual gift set of quite some people born into the true body of Christ according to His will, it seems. Some of those fake light givers are quite annoying little pests, and may have drawn you into quite some more demonic misery, it is not an unimportant subject, though I am convinced from practice that there is no deamon which isn't readily enough expellable, even to the bottomless pit they seem to dislike to be sent to, just don't take it that you don't need freedom from all of them, because living with the effects of some of them may be quite sub optimal and even dangerous, the depressions, lack of concentration, compulsary behaviour, fits, unsollicited spiritual experiences and other types of bondage and misery deamoning oppression, especially of the more occult sources can lead to are to be taken serious. Jesus name as for instance Paul states clearly is the name above all other names, there is no other name on earth heaven or anywhere else amoung humans, spirits or angels higher then Jesus' name. If that is new to you, be prepared for resistance against that true principle, I think from practice I have no practical fear that that is realy true, but various parties may become pretty aroused when a victim of theirs or of false doctrinces start to understand the speaking in the name of Jesus and the claiming of the authority they can have in His name, assuming they know Him, of course.

The pretty explicit writing I think is important because I don't think there are many people rightly into these subjects, and even though I'm sure public pages are maybe not the most optimal place for all parts of these consideratons, I hope some may benefit from the knowledge at least, and hopefully some take more of their place.

The third objection is against false doctrines. When people buy the I would have written shit, but will use the term nonsense in such teachings, they are going to be deluded about what for instance at least the spiritual world is like and about. There is nothing right in spirit except trustworthy enough other people for the unregenerated soul, contact with the great builder in the sky is only possible through the sacrifice of Jesus, though Gods initiative, and every stairway to heaven in such circuits is at best made from peoples nive intentions, but in such treachings doublessly at least tainted with doctrines and spirits one would rather not be involved in because of their damning effect, and probably there are circuits of illuminati, nazi's, synagoges who are actually synagogues of satan worship, catholics power suckers, rich money gamers, or generally abusive criminals behind the circuits some are making space for, to act as the first encounter for further inclusion into their fake religion or its outer circuits where you may become part of anything between their breeding machinery or their future high priest (if your mommy sucker enough), though probably if your going for some worthwhile position, other that would have to 'give' you that will want the same, so I don't think the rich are going to be beat by you that way...

False doctrines have a habit of getting into your system and damning you in the longer run, sort of like a computer virus. At some point you'd start to consciously or subconsciously adapt your life according to what doctrine you've accepted, and its going to eat you up, change you, damn you or whatever its effect is. A true teaching I think is no problem, at worst it may clutter you learning system and make you focus on something you shouldn't use learning time for, but something like sine squared plus cosine squared of the same angle is 1 isn't going to damn anyone, normally. But believing that not stepping on stooptile edges is going to make your karma better is introducing a little annoyance, at least, while believing that the jews would better be exterminated is going to create incredible damnation when believed and carried out by many people, one in doctrine. The first could probably rebuked before taking someone into some stupid damnation by the Archie Bunker to Gloria eyeballing look, the latter takes at least more than a few well edified persons to stick with reasonable sanity and historic awareness of the uselessness of ethnic cleansing, let alone curse of who theologically speaking God said 'I'll curse who curses thee, and will bless who blesses thee'.

Fourth, for those who are known by Christ, God forbids to take up another person or doctrine about what He gave, 'Though shalt have no other Gods before me', 'though shalt put away sorcerers from your midst and kill them with death', '(to simon the magician or so) I see that you have come to a gall of bitterness, let your money perish with you', a few quotes to indicate that God is not going to share first place or His divinity with some godd* motherf*  child and subjectee abusing guru or maharadji in a believer, and is going to make it clear, at some point, too. There is no other source of Gods life on this earth than through Christ, and His sacrifice and ressurrection, no toher, and honour alone that an idol would take could arouse God to desire His Spirit with jealousy, and who is man to withstand the real God? I wouldn't like to try to be stronger than God.

So we are all going to be youngsters in Christ having defeated the evil one or even fathers knowing God in one day or year? Of course not. And for those who are found by Christ, or have trust in Him, the former are saved in His name as his children to begin with, through the work started by His initiative, and the latter take part in the grace that Jesus brought to this earth, which is the highest instance of power and truth and leadership available, there is nothing that goes above Him. The true Him, that is, so one would better not flat out belief also christians (in name) that everything that is austentatiously brought forward as 'in the name of the father, the son, and holy spirit' is indeed that. Especially if it involves man dressed in womans' clothes waving incense pots calling upon you in intimate moments to forsake all other persons of opposite sex to love. Even more so if they are supposed to instruct you in your sex life to make as many new church members to tithe for them as possible while they officially shouldn't even be able to share the experience, as far as that makes any sense.

People would better be sane, the spiritual buildings, the delusions and life rules which have their origins in bad people and deamons which are forms of superstition and possibly idolatry are not going to have any other purpose than to damn people. Witchcraft, sourcery , soothsaying, consulting of familiar spirits, spirits inducing and mimicing all kinds of including sexual experiences, various deseases and psychological derangements are linked with demonic activity as well, and are never to be tolerated as normal parts of acceptable forms of christianity.

One of the books in mentioned int he references of the theosophists magazine was simply called 'lucifer', I'm not sure it was the one withe the quote of Jesus in it. Anyhow, the new age thought of giving oneself up to arrive at some higher level of being, prefably collectively (such a 'sacrifice of the masses' fails already for ages to achieve anything else then misery, the sources are probably just about the same circuits, and of course the same fallen angel)

I'm quite sure freemasons and the like, the newagers and their backup and certainly the catholic circuits I've without suspecting the amount of evil I now suppose worked with would not appriciate much that I write openly enough about what I think. Maybe they'd follow the lame and creativeness poor thought train of wanting to make clear that the possibilities I mention myself must indeed be followed by some of their followers or systemwise subordinates, or I'm simply good enough planner or foreseeer of what I consider possibly going on.

Whispering voice 'We have this little secret club, do want to join?'. Nonono, there is this incredible power in this world, which_actually_arranges_everything (there are commercials in holland which make fun of that idea, although the nazi/ss context of the subject makes it hardly any fun in practice), an maybe, just maybe we'll drop a little line containing some vague alluding that you might be able to take as confirmation that the great they would actually have considered acknowledging your existence, and that you might actually be able to pay the price of the increbily powerfull sacrifice of having some Actual Contact with the great ones. Probably some filthy rich fatass dumb enough kind who are discovering what the babylonians achieved as great knowledge already thousands of years ago, that their child abuse and general evil amount to nothing more than inconcpicuous and anonymous existences of evil, leaving no other trace or name in history than general obhorrance, and that even though they be the goddamn (probably functional word) tempeleers, the satanist high priest and the rothshields all in one, their world power would still be worth nothing but horsedo, they die the same miserable death-with knowledge, and they'd just like everyone else never be able to buy themselves love, have personal trustees without being at least nice enough to be in touch with, or be anything honorable at all without indeed that, for real. Otherwise it is all one fake anyhow, which never satisfies, and rarely makes for an interesting name.

Though owning enough to actually go to your bank and buy the better part of the country the netherlands by sheer financial power could probably give me a kick, too, and make some jealeous.

But, 'He, uh, we got this little secret club, ahem, he,he' stuff doesn't get on my nerves that at top level might just be able to give me replacing feelings of patheticness. Why, can't you be public? Isn't there enough interest in your life, or are you just like a kid, or what is it? Seriously, grown man with a secret club. 'I'm a hoochy coochy man, (and I relay am a Member, too!)', gmpf.

But they might be realy powerfull in the end! So are nuclear missiles. And there are legal, effective powerfull organisation which are supposed to gouvern all together even the whole world, if you're so talented or capable, or powerfull through you spiritual capacities or something, than you can get even higher than secrecy! Oh you don't dare to, why are you chicken? Aren't you up to the strain of actual live, public, vidible performance or personhood? Realy? Then you must have just a rich daddy and not be very developed yourself. Standard stuff, libraries full of books about such principles. Boring.

The power of secret societies? Without question they exist and excert power, and the without question evil illuminati kind probably have more power over many things than I will even like. But lets not forget there is a long enough state history to be not involved in crusades but in democracy and religion seperates government and indepentent enough government, legal and research organisation possibilities to take serious even as actual forces to be the main factor in society. Meaning I think is stinks to ascribe too much power to those hidden forces, but that I certainly do not go out of the way of acknowledging that the kind who thinks they can ever even come near manhood again after wraping children in secret and try to twist little victims lives into their eternal salvation or rulership or God knows what other stupidity most probably esists in various stingy flavours. And that that smell penetrates more of society than an honorable or nice or halfway avergely decent person can ever accept.

The next big innovation thing

I was reading my old universities' internal newspaper a few days ago, in the same period seeing the horrible and utterly dispicable and unmanly and unwomanly subject of child abuse being brought forward in general press, too, and amoung a clear reference to crucifiction in the circuit of musicians scene I've been neighbour of and knew some people of in the time I was quite high profile at least in Delft music land, I saw a page large article on lets say acedemica level or lack of it, and efficiency directedness of education and exams, where my former professor, who I seriously hold no longer in esteem because I suspect, unfortunately without physical evidence, may well be involved in child abuse scenes more than I may ever have wanted to even know about, actually uses the expression jihad about knowledge, which supposedly could be going on. What?

Appearently, some people have been reading mypages, and/or what I've been speaking about, because some subjects cannot be decoupled from my existance easily, also contentwise. Years ago I stumbled on the book 'Ultimate Computing', because I was browsing the university library catalog for parallel computing, which is a single word match with ultimate computing, wich looked like and interesting title. So I ordered and picked up the book and found and interesting knowledge substrate for thoughts about better models than neural networks for brain modeling and for instance pigeons finding their tills. The book by the former anestesist Stuart Hameroff had an interesting angle on medical and biologically founded models of brain activity, and a list of references. At about the same time I also checked references from Roger Penrose (e.g. 'The mind of God'), while on the other hand reading in on my theoretical physics knowledge, also on bucketballs mentioned in hammerhofs book without appearent biological or chemical reason, and of course the nanotubules, which for good reasons I though and was confirmed could also be made of carbon molecules instead of tubulin, losing the counting properties and size, but making for a very strong, slim, electrically interesting growable long and somewhat flexible molecule family.

You may want to check my former university site and my own site for notes on such subjects, they've been laying around the printer at least when I was still in network theory section at the time, and now we have for instance this Yao writing a key article on carbon nanotubes and their electronical application properties starting with the fundamental sides for simple enough connections and cases in 'nature' of I think 1999. At least in time when that was not at all obvious I researched litererature in relevant areas, and amoung quite more thought that would be good idea. Which wasn't a bad guess, or lead, it seems. And I had become a reasonably informed phsysist about such areas, too, which can hardly be said from the ones who ran me out of university, even trying alluding to incompetence, and certainly not leaving any space for a decent reference.

Anyhow now we have to read about acquiring knowledge as jihad, what the hell is that supposed to signify? That I have to sucker around a section for years after getting a A for preporatory work to eventually graduate, allow my work to be stolen and produced by another at a relevant conference with cooperation if not lead of that professor in the meanwhile, then be considered maybe just elligable for an added position on a graphics project I in major lines made preparations for myself and getting kicked out without salary of the whole scene when I after some years had risen to the real, undisputable contentwise top reasearch level? Maybe. More about that subject later.

That the catholics claim the knowledge, and that when the nazis with their approval safe certain positions away from undesirable catholic jewish child abuse circles, one would have to start a f* juhad to ever have impact on that system as an average or even way beyond average student?

Anyhow I won that game. Contentwise. I was better. For real. My machines and software worked and work, my physics knowledge in addition to my EE and top level computer hard and software and network and language knowledge made me top of the bill, and in additions I didn't loose the talent to smell and form interesting and appealing subjects and application in all that, which made me ove their heads. Period. And I will never give that up, not even in the face of serious threats. They can go to hell.

And on top of that I was know to be top musician, contentwise, too. In that same place, except maybe by world estranged project leaders and parents whose frail egos I didn't bother too much with my free time occupations and activities. And then I was crazy when I went aside, not midly overdrawn my credicard having been informed I would be paid for work I was doing unpaid at the time, and starting to suspect great evils around cut most contacts to think and read and communicate as far as I thought reasonable possible at the time. Because I didn't want to make some deal with the wonderfull scientists I'd worked with, more more than less being betrayed by having tried to trust my parents at the time (stupid move, should have known, I was independent for years already), or want to admit that I was making nice colourfull knitting work with wires as lame therapy which would fit better in the nuthouse, while in fact I was making working and still operational processor boards to make clear that for instance I saw no problem with a bit of kitchen table research to arrive at an interesting project prerequisite at the time to have a working 100MHz bus, which according to a hardware design and realisation group I was put up with instead of selected for skilled or talented workers was sort of hard and never got of the ground much. Made it work with a few 1 dollar parts on a breadboard, no problem.

Yesterday I was confronted with what christianity can mean in practice, and what I had rightfully anticipated might be problems in the areas. I'm officially adult baptised and holy spirit baptised, extensive course instructed serious christian already for almost 20 years, 15 at least, have lived a holy enough live in many aspects, followed classical biblical living patterns, done not enough wrong in any phase of my life to qualify as more than a late paid parking ticket equivalent (I think), am a good person, more than capable enough to instruct (did that for years with students) and lead, and that, too I'll never lend to someone to take my place. Ever.

So no matter which illuminati, freemasons, fake christian, baal worshipper, scientist, politician, artist, or otherwise thick person tries to take my place or present themselves in my face as infinetely more than me or my opinion, I can probably have them raw for breakfast or maybe diner, I'm not going to go out of the way for them contentwise. And I don't intend to do so in the future either. If they want to turn even this country into somkind of unofficial nazihood, or maybe want to ignore all saveguards in the constitution for reasonable enough civilion life and freedom, they are going to find me on their way. And their system would have a hard time to replace me, so I don't think they can miss me, because for sure they'd lose the person game, which I don't think their mummies and demons and maybe ego's like.

And in my opinion, I can't buy me honorability, too, so that is a property that one has to work on the earn, even though that in this country is usually early on met with a sich first or you don't recieve the mark attitude, which stinks. And everyone else the same, if some hidden and daylight scared circuits want my honorability or someone else's, they'l have to earn it. And allah might be great, but if that is just by repeating some mantra by thousands of followers simultaneously, its just as much a sucker as when they'd spent their time more pleasantly, greatness is an attribute of either the mach 10 + a million times hiroshima (but then mekka, maybe) kind (with computations to make exactly the desired damage, of course), or as a person who saves the world by coming to it as actual God and proving Himself good and capable of even defeating death, and not suckers who kill themselves for nothing but destruction or who think that by great swelling words of vanity they'll be taken for the great ones of the earth.


Because I happended to work with someone in such circuit, I spoke a few few words from knowledge I had long ago, and am still thinking a bit about what it about more exactly, apart from that I understand that as it seems in most circles, peoples, and denominations child sacrifices and great sin in such areas has pervaded also people in this circuit. I was wondering a bit why it was that I learned years ago that it is pentecostal practice to 'wait' for the Holy Spirit, while in fact when someone is found by Christ one can simply ask Him to fill their hearts, and usually be able to speak in tongues as a proof, which probably better would be verified by reliable people somehow to be indeed the Holy Spirit, without some other source taking place.

Circuitwise I don't think pentecostals, assemeblies of God and such are very much in esteem. Historically, I guess the line of progressing revelation of Gods ways with man in the dispensation of Grace, that is after Jesus sent His apostles until He as is supposed and hoped returns, is protestant as in believing in salvation by grace, evangelical, baptist, pentecostal and charismatic, believing in the gospel, wanting to preach it, making personal faith clear by baptism at conscious age, baptism in the Holy Spirit (see the beginning of acts, where peter explains it), and the inclusion of the various gifts of the (real) Holy Spirit into the life of (real) believers who were born again.

For me that line and logic was perfectly plain many years ago, at least in words, and I guess history can be traced easily enough to pinpoint the various movements at world noticable level with progession of time, which is not necessarily logical. Also, I remember that according to the apostle I've read the lets say bible course books from, the various denominations each have their own limitations and demon even which sort of makes use of the deficits in the pogression of truth and maybe armour that such denomination has because of not accepting or including all that Christ seems to have found necessary for this period of time in Gods dealings with the world.

It occured tome that there were no peasants amoung the early chosen disciples and later apostles of Christ, I think, medics, fisherman, carpenter maybe, but no peasants, I think, and the way they lived was so unlike what mainly the catholic system preached later. They were traveling jews, probably using regular eastern hospitality, not married children breeding laymen and rich celibatary power suckers building a worldy hierarchy based on possesion, pagan rituals, death worship and ancestral systems, probably not even that much into the dowry, possession, slavery and business games probably known and common in palestine at time.

In holland, like in arts, there appears to be no university level theology course for pentecostals, just bachelor level degrees can be attained to, which is not that special, I guess there are baptist tainted and other university level theology courses, though I think to become a ordained reverent or something it is not uncommon to have a bachelors education. Kind of strange, and rather liminiting when it comes down to actually have some people at least qualified and capable to preach traditional sermons with some intellectually up to standard level. I remember, apart from various earlier and later occasions, that some bachelor graduates were visiting the section I graduated, which I found sort of partly amusing, because I always find it easy to deal with seeing what students are doing and how they want to think, but they had a quite distinct midly remote attitude, which I understood in the shade of being reasonable ambitious at the time to want to be involved in top level work and research, and I thought they would have more competitive attitude, lets say in practical sense, which they didn't. Later on of course I realized that that may also have been because (part of) the scene there must have been populated with very bad and evil people.

Anyhow, I'm aware of it that even university circles I'll want to feel home with what excels rather than with what sucks, and that my education and learning puts me in actual top level in various areas, which is good, but then still I find it important that there is space for what is truly enlightened or lets say both creatively and intelllectually interesting and challenging. And I'm in fact sure that that is even important, not just to make clear the illuminati just call themselves that and suck in comparison, but also because life is bad enough as it is, and when people take serious to think about what for instance is right or not, the results will probably be a lot more acceptable than when they belief the first or second demonic doctrine that comes along and stick with it and make others deluded with verifiable lies and non-sense to, and when that all continues without any intellectual threshold or serious counter pressure from sane and edified people, especially when it concern top subjects which are probably the target of every party wanting power and glory, and probably for the reason that they hope to gain most with them.

But isn't it 'the greater the spirit, the greater the beast', so that we should hinder the intelligent maybe the most to ever become edified or effectively think about real life subjects? No, I don't think so, though I agree I'd rather be conned by someone stupid than a very intelligent schemer, and rather play against a technical newby than a total expert when they are against me or wrong or just evil. Some things aren't simple or small to consider, and then there would seem to be little choice to let people with not too limited intelligence resources think about them. Then again, many down to earth subjects are probably not served bad by sanity and soberness which don't require more than maybe a little over minimum intelligence, when applied right. Maybe there is the effect that those who are evil and bestowed with high intelligence claim that they are about certain subjects on the basis of such provable intelligence, and must be put in place by others of the same power to be just of evil intent and liars and wrong not because of lack of intelligence but because they want unhonest gains or badness or power through scheming and opportunist or downright deceiving use of their alledged or real capabilities.