I've decided after good example to write some diary pages with toughts and events.
Oh, in case anybody fails to understand, I'd like to remind them that these pages are copyrighted, and that everything found here may not be redistributed in any other way then over this direct link without my prior consent. That includes family, christianity, and other cheats. The simple reason is that it may well be that some people have been ill informed because they've spread illegal 'copies' of my materials even with modifications. Apart from my moral judgement, that is illegal, and will be treated as such by me. Make as many references to these pages as you like, make hardcopies, but only of the whole page, including the html-references, and without changing a iota or tittel...
And if not? I won't hesitate to use legal means to correct wrong that may be done otherwise. And I am serious. I usually am. I'm not sure I could get 'attempt to grave emotional assault' out of it, but infrigement on copyright rules is serious enough. And Jesus called upon us to respect the authorities of state, so christians would of course never do such a thing. Lying, imagine that.
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Nothing unusual, and in fact it was not that needed, though current circumstances are not normal material too feel much better then reasonable, in fact I just read my old universities' local paper, which was sort of at every page making more than a little clear that I had not been wrong about my attitudes and choices, and contentwise are fine in the lead and appearently, given more than a few clear enough alusions, still in the interest. Let them give me money for it would be normal logic, and in order, but given that I left for both very direct and personally important and principal reasons, that would not be so desirable, except maybe as some gesture of some I can appreciate the idea of.
New York review of books was good, too, my God they're starting to spell things out, and at least I picked my site's (and lifes') subject in clearly recogniseable lines which can be found not so much under the surface. I remember I've sent them a mail at some point even, probably with my site's address, would they still have that? At the time there had not been articles about for instance the importance of the bible on the formation of modern english and many developments in both the US and England. Many healthy intellectual kinds probably wouldn't need that so much either, but at the time I was into getting to the core of things, and i've been right, and I'm sure will be proven right about more, in my subject choices and my lines of thinking as I conclude. And of course need to have input on actual data, as far as I can do something usefull with that.
Can I appeal somewhere when a judge who is supposed to have visited me simply lies in an official legal piece (if some lawyer at least wasn't lying), because I've never even seen no judge ?
When all my friends and family are sworn to the same babylonic secrecy oath as it seems to keep using the miserable ways of oppression and injustice to victims of capital crimes commited by criminals they appearently have to swear never to expose, then what can one do to make clear one's not negligable reknown, skills and authority will not be assumed available for the turning over to power suckers who lie and steal, or some spiritual construct smelling remarkably much like standard babylonism from miles away. Stay away and prove the difference between with and without me is clear, for one thing. Make clear that liars are so, and that those who think they realy need to steal a life of a person who is interesting would better think twice before claiming their stolen position and demand it back when sufficiently in authority.
It's good then to find out what historically is relevant and valid in the area, which luckily isn't very obscure, and at least there's nothing much about me I need to reconsider in the light of such thinking, I'm fine enough.
Music has had major effect on me, I'm sure. TV may be top influence, I learned my english through it, mostly, but I remember many songs and the times I listened to them (some in all times since I knew them), and remember for sure that since I was little music had effect on me, and sometimes major effect. When it deals with important subjects, I'm sure many people can be influenced by the content it conveys, and not many will be able to position themselves on top of music with the right content, skillfully made and to the point. Not many crowds would be quiet or motionless or unaffected when the beatles get on stage or played, or when Elvis does his thing. Modern pop acts of a day usually don't even get near that idea, but I think music should thrill just as well as find a way in where at least a soul can find something in it to have thoughts and emotions with, and preferably feel better with.
I've got an mpeg of 'stairway to heaven' (Led Zeppelin for those quite illiterate about absolute classical rock) and played it in my (new) office at reasonable volume a few times, which makes me think straighter, and is nice. A builtup into a guitar breakout in minutes, and then a singing end, and all about the woman we all know, a little further down the road. I hear some call here mary. I guess she built some new rome. Anyhow that song is way cool enough done.
Teen town I've (co-) played in the jazz combo I've been in some years, which was fun enough, and I can't help liking a bit more than average when I hear Jaco do his humming and thumpin' and sort of halfway but no more growling bass improvisations, according to sane jazz thinking with recogniseable themes and licks, but quite different every time. Quite good stuff there, stimulating, must have been good idea to go see in 1985 new york.
Some time ago I was going over the music department of a university, and found amoung others books on Jimi Hendrix, and was reading the words of a part of a song I know well enough, though I guess not for singing without a text sheet, 'manic depression':
Woman, so weary the sweet cause in vain You make love, you break love it's all the same (when you say it's over) Music sweet music, I wish I could caress (do the rest)
I guess the song is needed but those lines at least are not without expression power, it's better it seems when something is well expressed enough about jezebel or whoever wants to act like that kind, or just as the general condition described in brave new world for instance.
I was going over at least 10 different versions of 'teen town' (you know the drill: www.cdnow.com, and type the song title) by Jaco Pastorius
Some pop reviewer in a paper got a price, and complained about the scrutiny by not the audience but record companies and others when reviewing records. He seemed to think that in movies and literary review, reviewers are more free and capable of being more honest.
I just listened to a piece from 'hey joe' from the album (currently CD) 'jimmi hendrix experience', with the choir, which reminded me of another album many modern people will probably not even have known about when I had it, Joe Jacksons' live double cd, which has a live version (in fact three) of 'something going on around here', which is a not obvious 1/3 5th circle based hit pop song from I guess end of the 70's, in this case with a woman singing a kind of jazzy wordless lick in the background as pretty much the only accompaniment for the singer, taking the whole idea minus the bridge into a song long varied pedal lick, working better then most other things, probably. A must hear for the musically interested with a taste for the better and examplatory pop songs.
I couldn't find which performer I know the (jazz) song 'stolen moments' from, though the jimmy smith version seemed fine enough, I played it, too, and still like it, especially trying to do a 3 or 4 note melody line with the right hand on a piano, changing chords for every note in the theme. That idea, minus many of the extended chords and jazz feel, I liked already when I had built my own first keyboard, 20 years back, when I took the idea to more then good enough hights for most major and some minor scale based songs. On an organ it is common practice for the advanced, of course, and on stride piano it leaves the left hand free to do the bass thing, but in 'stolen moments' I like to use the idea to get the right tonal qualities, which makes it a beautifull song, in a way I first did years ago, but lately I found it still is worth improving on.
Would a good musician hear and be able to play at the phases of the notes on a piano or maybe at the phases of the harmonics? At least for certain the beating patterns between the notes of a chord, because of their frequency ratio, can be heard clearly and played with, and of course in singing, even phase changes of smaller then a wavelength can be used, while staying in pitch and just varying frequency a touch up or down. What a possibilities, isn't it?
Of course I listened to some more hendrix songs, volume preferably at 11, where such ideas between the strings of a not all too special guitar are made to behave in many very different coherences by a quite special player, with definately up to amazing effects. It may be the same 6 strings, but no garage rock band, no matter how loud they'll crank up the same marshal stack is going to easily get near the strength in one passing chord when that guy hits the strings. Bill haley might try, I just heard 'lullaby from birdland', but also 'whole lot of shakin' going on', at least seriously bad chords and solo lines are produced here.
Hey, joe! I heard you shot your woman down! Shot her down in the ground! Yes, I did, I shot her, I caught here, messing around, messing around to town !
Who understands the sort of utterance normally, nowadays, or in general? What does that do 'hey, joe!' ? Yeah? Whatsup? Yes, motherf*? You got a problem? Yes! Or maybe: hi, jack!
I heard you shot your mother down! Well, euh, lemme see, eh, lets see, well, ... Or: yes, thats right, I shot her!
Hey joe, where are you going with that gun in your hands? I'm going to shoot my old woman, because I cought here messing around with another man. Tadu tadu tuuu (solo).
'This I have against you, that you let this woman jezebel teach my servants to whore...' 'I will throw her on a sickbed ... and kill her children with death ...' (?) There is clear biblical reason to take it that the idea of bringing someone down or possibly realy killing someone when they are just not good enough to be alive may be just and right enough, and I think for that reason it is important we realize that certain things have something to tell us that many I think don't get right, like such artistic utterances and their possible logic.
We have this joe who 'shot her!' and is going 'way down to mexico'. The guy is angry! He bought himself a major gun, blue steel, and he is going to blow her away, that treaserous abusive bitch! Well in fact he did, or did his mother and is going for the wife, or whatever it is that is used as example. Not that I advocate the idea, but on the other hand if some of the evil existences I've described on certain of my web pages, were to be thrown for the lions, I might even come and just check wether they indeed are dead afterwards, and feel more than fine enough with the idea that they'll not wrape and kill and torture anymore.
It's another image than the fatalistic or generally brain dead one which many seem to find place for. And also then the ones who will fill in the dots as a reflex after shouting 'heil ...' to them, and then the ones who have their own, unpublic justice system which in the end would kill everyone if not stopped in their miserable ways. This is sort of public, someone asks what happens, and the joe guy seems to have the urge to answer.
And we celebrate the absence of a purple haze with well a chosen 5th circle and world famous theme and solo guitar licks.
Yesterday I went over some commodores albums, which should be a concert with major PA, but the little mpegs and moderate q in ear headphones do their job, too. Take the snare samples you want from even the early (older than I thought, even halfway 70's) songs, if you're have them from a seperate snare track, they'd be worth storing in a sampler or analysis to get what makes them so strong, exact and fitting in place. And learn all you want from what a band can perform like together as a set of musically skillfull musicians loving what they do enough, and making a song and not their respective egos (mostly). Songs that still put my mind in another gear or whatever it is (from 2 to 3 in a major car or so) better than most around nowadays. Though 'uberjam' has some arousing enough (..) stuff on the samples, and the video is good enough, check it out on www.johnscofield.com , except... it isn't pop! (yet?) Some of it is funk enough, but a jazzy, instrumental funk song on the charts? Maybe something like the shadows would do. Not that the screaming girls are necessary, but the idea of letting music achieve something against lets say the (evil parts of..) the establishent appeals to me more than getting my tickets for a fake rock performance by saving up coffee points from some bourgeois system with 50 year old not even leading and certainly not stimulating yought to even think for themselves and make some changes like lets see, shall we take an offensive fortune here, or.. Oops, sorry, wrong freak mode, that was for the linux circuits, where at least I recently (on mandrake) found a version with nice enough library files, but minus the offensive ones, it seems, which every now and then are needed to shake us up. Like sexual revolution?
At least then I can sleep with someone when I and she so desire without people getting something done through shouting 'fornication, fornication' over the street where appearently she thought such act must have been going on (Strictly speaking incorrect even in that meaning, I'm sure). No one normally cares enough I guess is certainly not true, but in the 50's one would be out of a job and future existance when the marriage path wouldn't be followed 'neatly' (according to language I hate), it seems, which is definately not preferable, also from (my and hopefully Gods) christian point of view. The unfreefom and torturousness of the victorian age is not to be repeated, I think. And for the monkeys: I don't catch them wraping eachother, or asking my permission as a uberspecies when they want to touch eachother, and I don't hear horses asking my advice on their breeding behaviour, either. And unless I want a sexual relation with my underaged nice I don't need the queens' or civil security organisations' approval on a relation, also of a legitimate sexual kind either.
Would one still need a stable, mature, corruptable and blackmailable, bank owned, children blessed or cursed married life to get taken serious at lets say middle class level? Not that I'm complaining, for what I think things would be legally about, I don't think there are many great problems, but it bothers me that I can look at annie hall (woody allen, 77 I think) and feel at least somethings are taken for communicatable to a larger audience, and have that put aside in contemporary life as the forelast fits of a dying enlightenment. As if the sacrifice to the great mother in sky or her rules is realy necessary to become a high placed and influencial person in society, or more specically, a christian with authority. Of course there've been the marilins, too, what would Julia think about the subject area, and how much of that is voluntarily ? It's californication?
I'm not sure I'm too interested in Clintons' opinion. Though he seems with only few exceptions relatively neatly monogomous and not too adultarious, though maybe he should be, or something else, like free, which seems to be virtue in certain christian systems. How many relationships, for instance the more or less visible ones would be of the kind I've come to deep-heartedly hate, because they're nothing more than a coverup of some watchdog keeping family property or secrets safe by daily refering to the misery that keeps a person the lowest by reminfing them, so they never develop a sense of achievable freedom. Or because they are made under the heavy threat of some deal that has to be made and maintained to keep lyars satisfied, and blackmailers enabled to continue their games.
I think the sixties were about such things, too, maybe primarily. The nazis had been defeated and the japanese world order changed forgood, but the letting the 50's rotten familu ideas take over would probably be bad in the the marilin circuits' way at least, while the hope that all leaves seems summed up in the strive for moloch compliant children who will rule the world in the name of the parents families and the dowry, inheritance and power games would make a miserable world anywhere on the globe it feels like to me. No amazingness. Not much grace.
What were those lefty or maybe righty flowergirls doing? What were all those people at woodstock doing, rather peacefully? Would your family have you play hendrix as the highlight of a sunday experience? Or at all? I had to be a bit carefull with the volume of 'a day at the races' (queen) when I was 14 or so, but then again I always had to be carefull with the volume.. Sigh, I had 2x70 watts and a room of about 2 x 3.5 meters.. But seriously, I'm sure that because pop music was a very ordinary phenomenon, most people could listen to it and be influenced by it. 'you suck my blood like a leach, you break the law and you preach, you screw my brain till it hurts, ..' You seem to mean it, freddy. Ready?
I saw a CD-large file the other day with all beatle albums mpeg-ed or so in it, ready for playing at a mouseclick, ha, fu* the copyrights! Oh, no, that would lead to unintelligent sound bites and Alison and Metallica would be against me before I even need their copyright laws, or record companies, for that matter. If it wouldn't have been for thier redo and original of 'nothing else matters', a redo which was done after I was asked to add electronical or acoustical keyboard material to a lets say student project band in delft some years ago, which was enough and left the studio there with good tracks to do a variation on the song I'd never heard but on a tape or CD just before. How far would contacts stretch? I remember I liked to sit sort of near the monitor speakers in the control room, being able to pinpoint instruments in the stereo image, and enjoying the at least not so miserable frequency response of the monitors (major size, not the tanoy 'loadspeakers', coherent tweeters or not). Maybe after some time the 'wollen' nature woven over the studio monitors' sound would convince me that the direct design speakers I did myself a few years ago would still have their appeal as in being not so much there in the sound, while still being loud. I never got to test the whole studio's mixer, amp, and adat (double I think it was) recorder much, because I wasn't regularly there anymore, and there was a schedule officially for the new studio, though I normally was welcome enough in the rest of the facilities I've certainly made hundreds of songs souns well enough in.
That concludes this night program with contributions from the following people, ... , of course you can rerun this program at time which is convenient for you from our website tripple double u dot ... .???, where windows media server will do its best to hide it does not broadcast to subnets when too many of you listeners try at the same time!
Maybe one of you folks can help me out on a version of 'John Henry' by Joan Baez, I remember vividly enough but cannot find. A southern blues-like band version I did find, with sound example, which was fun, but she did a strong version I liked because it was so sort of grinding yet free enough, music feelingwise.
At times it has amazed me how people seem to deal with the importance of such ideas, which on itself is not too strange if one takes it that God indeed has some purpose with two persons, and has a serious interest in their being together for instance, in general, but also between man and women. When it is God who sais no hanky panky or something (I do need a slang dictionary to know the gory details here), before mariage, or after marriage, then one would better listen. And not go and see bathing woman, like David. Oh no, lets see, not enjoy them? No, eh, not take them away from someone watching over them? Maybe not kill their keepers and sneak your way out of that? Or having commited adultary in heart while having had feelings of desiring her. Or just not take on the presumteous supposition that one can be like that king. Or that the logic he seemed to live in still applies nowadays.
Or I should maybe notice that I must be able to provide for my imaginary family, or I've not to think even about taking such responsibility upon me, what was I thinking? No, in fact, that would have been more my own logic, I wouldn't like to be forced to give up my normal freedom to act and chose the way I see fit because of blackmail through my relations or maybe even children, and thought about being able to live as not a life but maybe only a 9 to 5 workslave before considering the subject of children seriously in life, even when such was relevant. And of course one has to feel fine enough taking on a certain responsability. Gmpf. Sort of, but still, gmph. So I'm going to be against seeing a happy and loved mother a few times a year who has a decent and loved child acknowledged by me (of which there is, I stress, not a single instance in this world, I take it, and in a direct sense hope), which will never be wraped or sacrificed to some moloch or mannon, because I'd never use or not use my authority to such effect, and will be able to live more than fine enough that whenever appropriate a sane, adult and grown up independent enough person can be there on the other end of the line any time? Seriously, no realy, I'm going to stress myself in some goddamned miserable deal with the childabuser maffia in this world hoping some mother will not get wraped but will just herself have to make some sacrifice to get something in this world with their approval, having to make sure first communion will for certain suck every soul right out of them through some evil chosen abusive system and authority figures, so they can be prepared 'properly' for the sacrifice of the rest of their lives in due times, and become good little whores or something of that great mother of god's rich equals in this world, making sure love never realy takes root, or the dangers of a not rotten smelling sex life would ever be outside the certified criminal womb of the local child abusers club. yeah right. And then call it all 'God's will', and thank him with songs I'd never realy like enough for the purpose, because that would be admitting defeat,or maybe even try that to make the lie sacrifice more fitting, or simply blame Him for having designed His laws so miserably. Grow bitter, and die cursing.
Nah. That shouldn't be so. Lets see. I meet Julia, we hit it off (what on earth is this giy thinking? Anyhow for the sake of argument and my ego? I wasn't realy talking roberts, of course...), she out of her x=th marriage, say, and it is all wonderfull. We have romantic ear nibling, dinners don't end in fights, and well, eh, the viagra wouldn't realy have been needed for well, eh.. anyhow, so all is perfect, oh, and of course we got the official paper, and church thingy to keep the great godfather satisfied, and then pop, the machine neatly produces his crop after the given time, and then what? We love eachother, she makes another movie, we come home neatly enough at six to keep the child disciplined, its hard work, we've all seen in those wonderfull serials how it all can be kept wonderfully efficient and interesting and how his providence keeps all shows running, and then what is the problem? Oh, of course we love eachother, though I guess those big brown eyes weat out at some moments, and maybe sex in the city at some point would realy be needed, but then again a little therapy here and there and some male bonding and shared pregnancy gymnastics, and some well chosen holydays to very romantic locations are normal to keep things going a bit, that is nothing special, everybody does that, I heard grandmother make very clear, so eh, no problem!
How do those negros in the bush, or maybe indians, do this stuff, anyhow, for Gods sake? Without refrigirators, without cars, churches, 'community facilities', all that? Not so well I gues, but my gawd the amount of children who do live to tell they can produce when they want, it seems. And what have the nazis not tought us of what is all possible as long as suffering is only counted as part of a wonderfull and honorable machinery to fullfill gods holy law on this world. How many soldiers of the right (or wrong) race and f*ed up view of life can one produce at the cost of some breeding farms, for instance.
Cuck berry said, like quite some other: Johny, boy, be goode ! I'm not sure it is the best way to say it, I had a blues band recording of it of which the intro was the right bottle neck think, but then again: he sure may, sure may. And don't you give me that 'too much monkey business' sh*, but do please play the song again. Any in the above, would we have the child play this as teen age hit stuff? Huh?:
Soon as three o'clock roles around You finally lay your burden down close up that book get out of you seat Down the halls and into the street Off to the corner and round the bin right to the juke joint you go in RRrrrock the coin right into the slot you got to hit something that's realy hot with the one you love you making romance all day long you wanting to dance
Oops, not sure, is it... Wouldn't need it! Yeah right. Wonderfull Being bored out of its spoiled guts, maybe ? Let's hope the sweet little sixteen isn't going to try catching no brown eyed handsome man, playing maybelene with no particalar place to go.
Or become almost grown little queeny. Maybe with as final question 'are you experienced'?
Those are most titles from Chuck berry songs, most I knew or had heard before, and they're good songs, and seriously, these honeys still rock today like 40 years ago, this stuff is serious. Let those little housers at least have a taste of that instead of al that god is a dj sh*, to them one of those songs is sort of demi-god. Let them try to sample that together. Ha. Simon and garfunkel would be alright enough. 'Hello darkness, my old friend, I've come to talk with you again. About a vision softly creeping. Left it marks while I was sleeping. A vision, that was planted in my brain, still remains, within the sound, of silence.
And in the naked light I saw Ten thousand people, maybe more. People talking without speaking, People hearing without listening, People writing songs that voices never share And no one dare Disturb the sound of silence.
Then maybe just iggi pop, then again it would have to be a lively enough sort of upper middle class sit with me, so maybe some of the things I found hilarious, but then serious: take good care of what you've got my father said to me, take care of those you call your own and keep good company, dziga dzinga dzinga a dzing a dzinga ... (happy banjo plucking), florished in my humble trade my reputation grew, rewards of all my efforts my own limited company ... , all through the years by and by disappeared, there was never realy anyone but me,
Mamma. yes? Just killed a man. What? put a gun agains his head, pulled my trigger: now he's dead. Well.. Mamma, life had just begun! And now I've gone and thrown it all away. Mamma, (there's a wind blow), I don't wanna die, I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all, carry on, carry on, as if nothing realy matters.
Anyhow 'I'll take your part when darkness comes, and pain is all around, like a bridge over troubled water, I'll playn me down, I will lay me down.' I could try. And about myself, I'd be still crazy after all those years, or there are at least 50 ways to leave one's lover, isn't it..
Unless we have to play the game, then I might be put up with some killer queen, messing with my seaside rendez vous.
Hopefully I'll still feel groovy, that is better, probably:
Slow down, you move too fast. You got to make the morning last. Just kicking down the cobble stones. Looking for fun and feelin' groovy. Hello lamppost, What cha knowing? I've come to watch your flowers growing. Ain't cha got no rhymes for me? Doot-in' doo-doo, Feelin' groovy. Got no deeds to do, No promises to keep. I'm dappled and drowsy and ready to sleep. Let the morning time drop all its petals on me. Life, I love you, All is groovy.(feeling groovy, Simon and Garfunkel)
I should get these things together in soundfiles, prerably studio CD quality, and do a nice collage, that was fun in early days, too, with digital editing means that should be possible to become almost perfect.
I'm working on the Joe Jackson songs, they're a story of their own, I could squeeze them in here, but it seems a bit much, good stuff, though, I played them with great great pleasure, also myself, and still the new wave songs sounds inpenetrable in straightforwardness yet interest, and the (later) own brand songs have formed interest in important parts of rythms and chords. Would you be my number two?
About the Julia stuff, I'm without money in *** amsterdam, and she rich well known movie star, lets not get ideas in our heads here, shall we? But then again, I'm known to fall for women with lets say sufficient strength and intelligence (one way to put it), and (sort of evidently) she is attractive. I know I know, mommie, I should have my compulsary shrink or worse 'treatment', but then again, I'm fine enough, electrical engineer, certainly good musician, oh boy, I feel waves of provincialism coming up. At least I'm also known to be certifiable not the 'wannahave' kind. What are the involved societies like?
Wich brings us to our next subject.