Theo Verelst Diary Page

Mon Jan 21 2001, 2:40 AM

I've decided after good example to write some diary pages with toughts and events.

Oh, in case anybody fails to understand, I'd like to remind them that these pages are copyrighted, and that everything found here may not be redistributed in any other way then over this direct link without my prior consent. That includes family, christianity, and other cheats. The simple reason is that it may well be that some people have been ill informed because they've spread illegal 'copies' of my materials even with modifications. Apart from my moral judgement, that is illegal, and will be treated as such by me. Make as many references to these pages as you like, make hardcopies, but only of the whole page, including the html-references, and without changing a iota or tittel...

And if not? I won't hesitate to use legal means to correct wrong that may be done otherwise. And I am serious. I usually am. I'm not sure I could get 'attempt to grave emotional assault' out of it, but infrigement on copyright rules is serious enough. And Jesus called upon us to respect the authorities of state, so christians would of course never do such a thing. Lying, imagine that.

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Mon Jan 21 2001, 2:40 AM

I started a lot of subjects and thoughts I want to finish, and I didn't make any other plan yet than to at least bring forward at least Roberts subject, not because all other interest reduce to nothing in her sight, but then again to find someone realy attractive (or lets be carefull about the beauty subject and the whole world systems effect possible attractive enough to realy notice in that sense), for me that is, is not common enough not to notice or at least make into a serious subject.

The perfect son-in-law

Come to think a bit about the above copyright notice, I mean it that it repulses me expecially when 'christian' parties are messing around with my writings. I would image that my family tries, and some parties I described as in my opinion extremely bad on some of my other pages, and I can imagine some people I knew who are affraid to be confronted with my true opinions want to try to protect their interests, and of course I'm not all completely known in some official way, except that I've been in some strategic places with education and talent enough to stand out and at least be noticed and when needed found back by name or work, and by more than a few lets say not average people, though I wouldn't say that through normal personal logic I could try to qualify as a realy well known
person in the physical realm, though probably I'd be seriously recognized by quite a large number of people. Does that make a difference? NOrmally to me some but not that much, why would it. I was a good student at the best electrical engineering faculty in holland, first two years amoung the top 8 percent or so in terms of studying speed, which for probably the hardest study there is is not bad, and I got good enough grades too, and worked even, so that on itself is good enough to get known on family parties for being on the way to make it more than average, and qualify at least in the same ballgame as the doctors and lawyers, and given some social interests and proven skills and lets say some interest in the area, probably as more. Which would put one in the top of the middle class achievability game, in normal enough logic.

And then one would have to graduate, of course, or the game is over or not so good, obviously! In short I did, and in the meantime worked at university, started a company of my own, did a lot of music and the like things, got to know more than a few people, and I picked a subject I knew contentwise to be absolute top class, of sufficient weight, and of electrical engineering, computer and mathematical challenge enough, and I also wanted practical applicability, which I managed to do. So as student, it was hard to beat me, though I didn't think in those terms, now I would for another reason, I had healthy ambition, and after I had finished my first year in the shorted time possible (only 10% do a few months later, and 50% never make it) I started to at least believe that I still was top material enough in comparison, even though gears had to be shifted from my do almost everything all the time except study much attitude I had at highschool (which i finished just fine with some 3 7s, 2 8s, and 9s for english and physics (for which I was known to rarely ever make and effort, and if it wouldn't have been for some lousy test I couldn't score higher than 8 I might have had a 10, which was fun), on scale from 1 to 10.

When I started thinking about my choice of section and graduation direction, and was serious as always, I was drawn to network theory section because I'd read the yearbook in my second year I think, and that sections' add-like brochure contained terminology like 'the challenge to design a big VLSI chip', 'advanced chip design and testing software suites', 'top level design projects', in short the idea that everything scientifically weightfull enough, having at least remotely to do with serious chip design and verification, and some relation to the idea of dealing with complex networks (that's in the name of the section I think telegen had something to do with in the past) would be given serious place.

I was in to synthesizers heavily at the time, so it needed not much explanation that after having peeked into the dx7's electrical circuit diagram, and having programmed software of all kinds relating to music, I would be interested in making the next generation synthesizer or keyboard chips, sell philips the idea, be known and fun enough get money, make it to head department at philips natlab or something, and have a fullfilling and pleasant life of luxury and peacability. Isn't it?

Well after having been invited upstairs to the sections main profs' office because I seemed to have posed an interesting question during lecture, I had given things some consideration, and I think the next time, or maybe straight away I was presented with a list of possible graduation directions, where it was made clear that audio was out, because researchwise not enough supposedly was to be expected, which I took as partly political, partly practice choice, and maybe advice, which as not so powerfull 2d year student I wasn't going to challenge. Luckily for me it seemed hewlett packard had made my presence be preceeded by a sabbatical leave of one of their (no doubt top) researchers who together with someone else had been working on the design of a computer graphics chip for some time, at world top level, without question. Seriously, the article I 'cracked' (understood) in some time, which they made and I got to delve into could still be presented at Siggraph (for who doesn't know, the absolute 1 in graphics world wide conferences of acm) of next year, and would only have to have the chip technology carrier data reviewed and reevaluated, the rest is pretty much still valid as excellent enough example.

I took the article about accelarating graphics operations home, and did my share of reading and thinking, and had the idea of what it all was about pretty much to start with, but the math and the actual circuitry and all its logic was something else, so I started not at all unpleasent library activities to learn my share of the math involved, and started cracking the digital circuit diagrams and their global descriptions in my head, and as I've written before I was used to that already for about a decade, and very advanced in that, so that was fine, it tought me interesting enough subjects, though. Balancing of bandwidth and logical operations, serializing operations to arrive a fine grain level for applying parallel circuit design or pipelining operations (like on an assembly line), dealing with stack structures combined with hierarchical datastructures, taking into account the energy (width of wires on a chip) cost for shifting storage elements, the idea of an interpolating chip circuit as opposed to a von neumann computer architecture, and of course (for those who know the article 'The Feasibility of a {VLSI} Chip for Ray Tracing Bicubic Patches', which at least seems to have appeared in IEEE computer graphics and applications vol 7 n 3 1987, though I think I had it before), the idea of making a chip design, a logical design and a computer approach to an interative algorithm which is suitable for the purpose, efficient, and allows major and usefull speedup. All check. Those hp guys at top level usually know what they're doing, contentwise, I mean, I don't doubt that much, I gues they at least take some pride in that. Ha, that was at least good enough stuff to gnash one's teath into, though I would have prefered more of the math like in physics I much later got into again, but for certain rational tensor surfaces are not a bad basis to learn about and get handy with, in good electrical engineering tradition.

Getting away from the subject? No, in fact getting at where it is at. I'm sure there were very bad parties very much against me making all the above into being sort of a logical head of most everything in at least those areas, because of the weight I could accumulate, and I was known as lets say leading or directing person more than enough to anticipate I'd be able to use that weight and my talents and the logical consequences of my abilities to become more than average known or influencial. Probably that I was getting ahead of scenes and non-persons who were into probably every kind of badness I don't even like to imagine wasn't going to make it easy for me, though at the time I was serious about what I found right and wrong and very taking eveything the safest way I could in spirit, I had no idea of why it wasn't at all easy to get even the most normal things of the ground. I didn't realise that conspiracy theories I was aware of must have been such a major factor in my life at the time and probably always, and wasn't schizofrenic enough to start thinking about being so much part of hidden processes. Or that life was so full of nonsense even by people who should know better than to sacrifice what is good and worthwile.

So people blackmail, want the worst kinds of withcraft hopefully to work on the only one over their head, mess up bad, never listen, take it that satanists are better power sources because the real God lets it seem such on purpose for decades, damn the roots of their society and the only ones that can ever get them up instead of into misery, and before you know it the great mommie gives up her spiritual powers at the worst moment, the witchcraft as always turns around in the face, even without having worked, and the country is damned for centuries and lost forever in the sense of being possibly a 'saved' nation, for whatever that means exactly in this world. Way to go, Holland. And let the belgium catholic jew likes do the betrayal work, that is probably good for business. 'Rule one, we arrange everything', sure in your grave, I heared that sort of logic before, it seemed the kind that listened had a sort of craving for a replacement father figure. God, I'm good at that. Already was proven knowledge when I was 10, seriously. 'Go to sleep, because there is nothing realy the matter'. And of course when something happens, you just join the nazis, because, heh, we must all live and make the best of it, so we'l just forget about those rialtrack stories and bugging romours of mein kampf being implemented in special camps with gas chambers. That would not be gezellig. And urdnung muss sein, so eh, then we'll have another God given state, and they've prepared in our secret and freemason circuits, too, so it is relay going to be good for secret and of course very profitable future relations, and as we all know there certain circuits who know the powers who realy rule, so eh, that is mighty interesting and important, and so are you when you hear about it, boy, realy important.

Don't forget the wayang, either, that is going to be wonderfull for centuries that little puppet idea, after all the family and horn on horn (it must have two (!) heads and tongs, hoor, dus, eh, zo gaat dat, he) 10 head leadership system is leveled and bullied over to the very ground with nothing left worth mentioning. I hear in spirit there are people who are knowledgeable of the results of the great work of cracking the structure of it by christians who are worth respect, where they themselves don't even know. All is inverted, I hear. HOw do ministers grow? I think predictably. But no childabusers or major childabuse based system of oppression and secret circuit over my head, thank you very much. They get a ton a year or so let them work to stay away from that great misery at least, it took me some effort to. Give me the ton and I give you world top micro electronics, too. Sorry I won't reverse my honour with you, though. Oh but then your mamma doesn't agree...

Maybe God has reason not to send any his seriously worth mentioning people with weight to certain parts of His could be vine because He made it such that He wouldn't like that anymore. Wanna try making Him jealous ?

Anyhow, given such possibilities, I'm supposed to believe and like it when every time again women I like somehow find their way awayeither with such incredibly obvious assholes or incabable or unsuitable ones or in such strange and illogical way that no mortal is ever going to belief they are following the love of their life.

Don't get me wrong there have been more then a few grilfriends around, also for years and some close enough and others important enough, and I never had any serious needs to even consider charishing marriage plans as an emotional need which were crossed that way, so I'm not talking about that sort of path not having been drawn for me. And I've not been short of attention or looks either, so I'm not into general complaining, that is not logical and not what I'm talking about, and luckily what is not very heavy on my mind.

But the idea that I have to draw up a list to make clear at least that I'm not going to bend to the desires of childabusive inhumane death worhty criminals calling themselves secretly God knows what when it concerns my choice to want to be with and continue to live with certain women I've liked more than avarage or though could be such (I'm probably wrong about a few in terms of how good or suited they are, but still the list was and is there because at least I want it to be clear I'm not taking back what I find important), should normally not be very needed and that it is so much so tells me that there may be places where reasonable fridaynight and social freedom exist lastingly luckily, but that this country isn't one of them, and that also in most other countries I'm aware of there are publically clear enough examples of the existance of marylins' and other kinds of circuits making victims and never letting go their inhealthy appetite for power as public cleansing method and continuation of their legitimation in their environment which in a normal world would not have to be denied them, because they would be dead, like any normal child wraper and killer and torturer would in a short little little healthy war or circus game or whatever, to be surely 'slain with death' like the philistines or the nazi's or the southerners or the french blue blooded ones (bit tougher) or the bad knights or whatever. Simply because the world doesn't want to spent the effort on growing the food to feed them or has sudden and effective lynching urges against such dispicable failures of the human reproduction process lying in sin.

Wishfull thinking, but then again a country where all kinds of parties are killing eachother all the time without stopping for a long time is not imaginary, and actually part of the same continent. Which is sort of a warning for kinds that could be saved of certain kinds of thinking which clearly and objectively are in error, and presented as a form of obviously untrue propaganda: don't belief that such subjects are deal with right per se, and that personal thinking about that isn't necessary, also when you vote. Deamons are usually wrong, and I've never heard of a rich family giving effective stock advices to poor fellow citizens let alone that they'd unhonestly share some of their riches with lesser fortunates, also not when they are wonderfull listeners to their games' rules. Don't be pityfull, think for yourself. And the idea of rich letting growing persons wither on purpose and steal faces and withhold wages from the poor is biblically not right and explicitly mentioned in for instance James. Voting for a party which wants to change gouvernment circuits as part of their official statutes from their beginnings in my birthyear may be a better vote by for for more than just the natural environment, even though they're whimps in the great thing which is to be at all cost to keep the great mommy under control. And I'm not being funny, though I'm not sure enough will be given the mercy to understand that voting is secret on purpose and that such choice may be the only way to fundamentally change something. One would better think.

So it supposedly normal that family keep their abuse victims, especially the talented or valuable ones and keep them under their circuits by putting them up with some ass who gets their pathetic and dispicable approval, except maybe for a few stronger ones, who find ways out but in an evil society are never supposed to make it. They might not even need the great mommy spirit, and not even her enemy which must be built, too. And of course such a one may never make it with someone like me, I might even claim my christian background and seriously damage the powers that be. For real. And you bet I plan on.

The baloons with remote control I wrote about years ago: I built them, they worked enough to be usefull on small budget just as an example that I'm serious about things, I'm nor in the habit of bullshitting people. One of the artists from holland I didn't feel lets say arted by into the darkness and depression certain circuits were infamous for already in the time of huygens I met also when I was playing around with one of those. Now he's dead, jumped from the roof, didn't want societies ways anymore, I guess.

I didn't make things such that that would be logical, I think I'm fine and fun enough. Others must have. At least some didn't have the power to stop that process. I think that is serious.

Maybe that one got his head to high above the mowing field (dutchism), maybe his bad parts of unhealthy habits got the better parts of him, maybe. Lets hope that people who didn't have the national and international weight and renown he gave himself effort to achieve and who are generally worth sh* or nothing much don't get it in their head that through some fake religeous type of considerations they'll win so much that the games which were around him won't affect them when they trust the parties I'm sure he wasn't in with voluntarily. Oh boy, the provincials for one year I'm sure would be wonderfully sucked in certain environments before they'll need to start paying the great system of nothing but babels towers' quality. Which won't work, I'm sure. The rich stay rich, the previous generation keeps abusing the next, while the total sum of everthing stays the same either way. I'm not suicidal. I don't plan on dying for a very long time to come. And I don't give my position, my life, my honour, my whatever which is lawfully mine away to anyone unless I want to. And the things I didn't let myself and certain corrections that need to be done may not leave me in a position which looks very nice, but then don't forget my problem can be generally over in a short time, months for instance, can yours, too?

And then I'm officially qualified electrinal engineer (who was invited to work at the section where I graduated for years), a more than excellent enough keyboard musician and technician capable of designing and making work just about every between a microphone and a top speaker system, with at least enough life and travel experience to be way above lameness considerations, and loads of subjects and efforts on track to make me top class in computers, electrical engineering, and if I do some effort in top physics, apart from having proven abilities to lead, assist and teach courses, and healthy enough to do bike a few hundred kilometers a day without any special feelings (the latter takes time too, when one needs work, isn't it). Well well, then why am I not a rich happy millionaire? Yeah, why. I am capable of sticking with and improving my subjects with dilligence and seriousness for years, work 40 hours a week with no problem. As I wrote I can design install set up, let run maintain and upgrade any computer system and since recently to reasonable extend even a reasonable network between profi unix and XP (going over just about all windows versions, MacOS, and linux), and program just about every serious or fashionable program language with the exception of visual basic (except I'm total expert enough in basic and user interfaces), sap, and some other languages you can find most abundantly on some of my once favorite job sites' current offerings such as, regardless of technical or acedemic sensibility.

And that sort of sums up the problem I have. People with my capabilities and proven record get asked. And there is 'thank you' and sucking up behaviour involved, you see. That's the way it works. Having a circuit against me is to be expected. And not wanting to work with possible childabusers is my choice and not necessarily someone elses' fault.

Oh, the image I present you didn't get from your Very Informed circuit which even intimately know my  holy Mother, actually? Well well. I understand I don't even need to bother! Everything they know, they have Informers. And very interesting professors which never made it to my position who realy are very capable of wanting to get me in the nuthouse when I refuse to take their game serious as anything else then insult, and who probably have said things that I was dangerous with little oil fires in a house where I was out of gass, very dangerous such a little boy with a big bottle of lamp oil wanting to roast some meat or make some soup. The same clumse always making himself so anoyingly interesting (and impossible for them to beat) with that car of his, that he never realy had, of course, or killed people with driving it (never gave enyone a scratch, and I patched up the engine with my own hands without much garage interferance to after my own cylinder head revision keep doing its 115 horsepower for another 160.000 kilometers or so of my wreckless or maybe decent driving), and who made very clear that they were determined to reduce my software efforts to worthless crap as far as they could letter others steal the credit for my work and get away with putting me up with what they themselves probably would make, from the standard not-in-control look of their room with piles of magazines and papers all over for that purpose and obviously not because they were doing interesting things and being efficient with space and time spent on ordering things, I never saw them write decent software themselves, and certainly not somethings seriously innovative or even interesting or professional at all, except for paper work, or claimed graduate stuff.

But our circuit cannot be holy enough so 'I may not be in it he, so eh that's the way it goes!' Really?! Let me see they are bad and don't want to be exposed, I think. They are affraid to go to prison, I think. They are rich and unwilling to seriously share anything, except some warped sense of you liking to be subdued to get some of their alledged glory (which may well be mine and others for a major part), I observe. So you are sucker who is wrong to stay with their blackmail game, which like their whole reliability implies is probably not going to give you anything much for your miserable efforts. Oh you don't dare to break the money spell or the curse on my lifes whereabouts. Well, than at least don't present it otherwise.

Throwing in your own windows again Verelst. Haven't you at times not sucket up to just enough, and didn't you simply mess up yourself those wonderfull opportunities the system which realy isn't so bad gave you in it great wisdom and mercy?

No, damn it (that thing people seem to want to live in, that is, some seem to have serious thoughts they're on a minute to minute basis line with the actual clinton all day long, and oh my gawd there are so many different ones of them...), I meet people I see half scared to death just to talk to me even though they obviously like me, and I want you to at least to be honest about the reasons for that, otherwise the world is never going to work right, wether it be computers, software of politics.

But play it cool, and you might actually get a nice moderate software job with nazi laisez faire approval for just long enough to betray you, so stay smart, you've been having it a bit hard, he? Goddamn that 'think': no, I didn't have it a 'little hard', I left most I had because I refuse to be taken in a system that wants to put its best talents in the nuthouse, and pretends nothing ever happened after that appears to be such blatant error, and doesn't even want to inform me why my mother and her probably also seriously miserable cicruits could get that far, and what the real reasons for my father were to act as he did, or even at all what the hell they generally knew (past tense) was going on was so kept from a person quite capable of dealing with difficult problems.

They may think the secret is not know, but those completely public and dead obvious outcomes of secret mingling and processes are completely noticable and undeniable, unless this society is more nuts than I indeed think it must be. NOONE deals with someone like me in their society like they for years and get away without being fellow conspirator with the nazi's some secret cult, the liar christians or somethings like such, because otherwise motivationwise this country is too sick to ever take serious again.Unless we're all blackmailed, which is doubtlessly regularly true, but not good enough an explanation for such a blatant picture and against every better judgement of so many normal people. Certain betrayal games take full cooperation, and in no normal society such trust against such a relevant persons should be reversable for so long with incredible nationwise efforts, which are completely damnable and of course completely not to be taken serious. Those efforts shoul dbe the other way around, and not just by the americans needing to do another saving job.

And don't give me 'paranoid' or 'all always join' crap, because I don't buy it, and have no interest. Of there was a mary to be made, and christians just had to stay with their lies and miserable ways because the Holy Spirit would never have given that person to be actually first 'had'? Well, isn't that something, indeed that is not going to happen. And considering in spirit he is quite powerfull according to his ministry, contentwise rarely realy wrong and very relevant, internationally not at all talented as they are so much to be rendered irrelevant or good for amusement mainly until that wears out, and not willing to betray anything of himself or corrupt his teaching, they'd better rethink their point of view if they're serious, because when I read the signs and listen to who I think is the Holy Spirit, they and me are in for major trouble which isn't over in the morning. And they are the ones with respect problems I get projections of, not so much me, in my case it is more like a theoretical excercise to see what I must conclude are the various motications and 'systems' demons and certain people must have inspired them to, nothing much to do with competition or feelings. And don't forget when some of my trouble are over what stands is absolute top, I don't think even my adversaries will much try to seriously deny that. What do you have left when your bet is over? And more importantly, it is normally speaking completely likely that it makes perfect sense to anticipate that at some point my obvious trouble in certain department will most certainly be over, is that the same with you? Then think about what I'm making clear, that I'm at least in the whole of things making exactly the sense I wanted to make, by wanting to be seperate from the various evil systems first of all, trying to keep righteous enough moral judgement at least in myself, not corrupting myself on purpose, wanting to win things which are worth it in the whole of things, and not starting with betrayig myself as some sacrificy no one ever needs except maybe those already in power or demons. Then in the end something can be worth it. Or at least I can look at myself in the mirror and try again tomorrow, hopefully under my conditions. It's not about the right to dream, it is simply about taking the rights which are legally ours, and about the directly earthly such as happyness, not about some great pie in the sky.

Leaving that a bit for now, I just think when I'm sort of honest about certain things, that is relevant to be clear about myself about, I seriously don't always know what to do or think when I see people around me or on tv which clearly must be in circumstances of serious blackmail from for instance their family.

I'm not sure what to write exactly because I'm not sure what the purpose is. Preventing error, correcting, convincing people things should and could be different, that I care about doing effort for that, and that for some I find that very important, that I hope to prevent things I realy couldn't live with anymore, such reasons, apart from the general ones are there. To write away agony or spilling my guts, could be, don't think I wanna go there.

So I meet someone I like and before things can ever get of the ground, clear fear stops anythings serious can take place, and she ends up married to some (don't wanna write, words which include talents, charisma, capabilities, the idea of actual love, and then mostly in the negative) obviously not right with so much double communication that an average moran would even understand different things, and if unlucky even with a child stached away in a family without question way worse than shady. Then what ? Buy a tank, try to get her? Make oneself stupid that way? Probably not, but still, I don't have cent currently so that's a hard option, probably illegal, too.

Thats the short version of an example setting where this one is sort of short of resources to think straight, and even to want in spirit to be all to nice about it. Someone who marries another and all that stuff must normally be taken for not interested, or playing some game I'd realy never tolerate and that's it. No big deal or big deal, some things are above the no one messes with me that bad limit. In normal enough circumstances, and feelingwise for me always, though I can try. And what is true and what isn't. And what is the real God in the sky or above thinking? Tough ones.

Lord of the Rings ?!#*#(&(# ?!

What the hell is that idea, huh? I went to see Harry Potter on kind initation, which was fun enough, it had been quite some time since the last movie, and of course funding is low currently, and at leats the idea is clear: someone writes a book another makes a movie, and ridiculized the magicians and their ways and puts some fun enough drive in it and tons of special effects to draw crowds, and presto, another movie. No prob, clear enough.

Alien, I can relate to, too, that is stuff I can understand (and contained the only actrice I found realy attractive for quite some time), 'do you feel lucky, punk?!' is nice, even in german, that is all easy stuff, but the lord of the rings, what is that an audi commercial, olympics chosing their next godfather, what?

Sex and drugs and rock and roll

I was looking around various web sites, since I am on the web anyhow, spending more than little time, which I knew years ago, too, and liked enough, ranging from cnn to peepingmoe, a webcam site of varying content, and, where I found the following through a site of picture of the day or something, or just by chance a 'recently uploaded' photo:
reminds me of someone I knew. Like.

I remember the christian colored adagio sort of related to the title of this section is sort of to be mindfull of the lust for power money and women, which makes its sense in its own way, though I have wondered about the exact meaning of that all, and without question erred in my interpretations of certain truths surrounding these subjects. Luckily I had ambition, probably not driven my money or power greed primarily, at least that put me on top of things enough to get not entangled in the end. I liked woman, if that is the expression, I guess since I was quite small, nothing that special in my opinion, though I found it more than a bit relevant, probably not shared in that way by very many, though I wasn't aware of that much.

Money I wasn't in trouble with, I usually had enough top get around, though my ambitions since very early age included audiophile stereo systems, which even when making them oneself were impossibly expensive except for more than average income at the time, and still are not easy to buy one moderate wages, so always there where the great purposes in need of more spending power, naturally. I guess the trouble isn't in that picture, when one doesn't have enough one builts some things oneself, hopes for some inheritances or simply sticks with demos and live concerts, one can live with that.

The burning desire for money isn't in that picture, and I'm sure that has to do with damnation and games which are quite out of the ordinary, at least in my opinion. And seriously, gates could by the national product or state spendings of half a year of this country or so I seem to remember, but still being able to give every dutchman maybe a thousand or so will not make him exceedingly powerfull in this stampsized area of the globe, so it realy is up to I guess the rothshields and such to be able to have major power influence on the whole of things, when it comes down to applying actually 'legally' owned assets for the purpose of raw control through riches.

That is to say that I'm not in the least impressed with the idea of driving oneself nuts with the idea of having to make a few tons of money to in the end be taken as powerfull or rich and influencial in that picture, so when it concerns the major lines in life, that all means pretty much nothing, and there are only few who can derive world chancing power from shifting their assets arouns, except when consumers colectively decide to boycot or desire a product or something. Simple math.

The desire to be rich probably has roots in many games and considerations, without question to be on top of (maybe just a few) as a major one, and we are warned to take it that the lust for money or such a desire is a part of the root of all kinds of evil, which I don't doubt is true (its the more correct rendering of a biblical verse, I forgot which one). When nothing in life is worth it or good enough, all personal desires are only aimed at things which cost money or when one desires more power through the impersonal mammon or its subjects, the idea may become important to have loads of money, and sacrifice to get it.

In 'normal' life that wouldn't be a problem I'd have, I've lived years and years with incomes varying from reasonable student earnings to lets say moderate salary and have not been all togehter satisfied, but more than fine enough in the area. I found it fun to sort manouvre my thoughts into the kind of luxury problems where I wanted a bigger house while keeping my more than average car, being able to buy more music equipment, and still have enough left to take vacations or travel abroad, which I found sort of amusing, though they were serious thoughts.

Did you check out the chuch bery songs, fun isn't it? Ah you didn't? Must I present my audience with direct samples? Or you knew them already, I did. Brown eyed handsome man (I'm not, hah) I knew long ago, for instance. I don't think I can fault that kind of rock and roll, it makes sense enough, and I like it.

Jerry Lee Lewis who I long ago knew to be Jimmi Swaggarts' nephew, was probably not a nice guy, I from what I understand at least didn't go major bad in some way, which is probably preferbable humanwise over some unregenerated hypocritical power or God knows what seeker of a fake preacher fermenting about the powers of rock and roll music to expose that they are not in touch with normal feelings of like for instance about girls and other supposed to be pleasant subjects in life, rather than be convincing that just that music in the end probably is not going to save you and might exhaust you in the meanwhile, depending on what it is all about, or that holyness in certain ways is indeed called for, but try to convince a porn star that it is essential to transform themselves into the image of a nothing ever happens christian type where providence isn't going to provide any serious interaction in any way relevant to those areas of live except maybe those wonderfully growing children. Major pun intended. So the preachers of the kind go to heaven and appear holy, and the porn star evidently end up between the little devils with the big forks and will never understand anything of the concept of holyness in the core of lives' passions or attractions or in between. Yeah right.

Naked hippies? Unholy? Well, lets see what does deuteronomy say, or exodus? Well some contradictory stuff in the translations I had, to begin with: thou shalt not kill .... you shall slay them with death, huh? Thou shalt marry, but not let thy priests have sex? Oh no, lets see, the catholic priests shouldn't marry, and they must have sex, with eachother, or they could teach first communion on abuse. Oh no, wrong again, that is secret. Lets see, thou shalt marry before sex, but not forget thy neighbours wife? Sorry just joking around, it isn't all to clear it seems, except when one goes into the detailed laws, also about man-woman stuff, which seems very detailed and clear though is hard to understand in more than a few ways, considering what is all written and what the straightforward meaning would be. Those meaning could add up to some meaningfull rule set for the law-wise required holyness standard, but then what was it with so much which is then at least hard to explain, such as various cases like abraham and sons of more than one woman, slavery, arranged marriage, and of course the in the time of law utterance where for instance it speaks about 'the women of thy predecessor which I gave thee' as in that God himselfs states that he gave David more than one women, and even who 'belonged' (or something) to Saul. I should look these things up to be more precise, but anyhow, it is hard to arrive at one consistent picture along traditional lines, if not impossible. Not that I find it impossible to deal with the subjects involved, in fact probably most of it is not at all that hard given the major commandments, but whole lives are going to waste and into destruction, misery and unhappyness as a result of social acceptance of all kinds of damnable and damning doctrines sources outside sound interpretation of biblical material, or at least of highly questionable nature and quality.

And everybody by nature 'understands' that people must be forced into marriages which are unfitting enough to make them produce children for the great system of choice and that they must be sacrificed just as we all are, and that none of the generally known things equivalent to idol gods is going to agree with a free, responsible and loving lifestyle, where the great mommie in the sky, the mammon, and the rich, and the childabuser wannabee powerfull ones are simply ignored and not sacrificed anything. And as every farmer knows, the cows need to be kicked and beaten every now and them, or they'll never grow, or produce milk or offspring, and monkeys without clear genocide preparing guidelines are darwinistically speaking to unsuccessfull to mention.

What does that all teach us? That mankind has somehow been affected by something not making much sense, to begin with. And looking at the whole structure of the beast and parallelism in the types of behaviour around the globe through the centuries, there must be a powerfull Person who on purpose choses to damn in certain ways irrespective of the logical or natural course of events, even given that there is a source of evil which enforces its own logic.

So it teaches mostly that there is higher instance, supposedly God, who occopies Himself with judgements he excecutes so clearly and so incircumventable that at least they make his presence clear. And that mankind is not up to his standards, and that He appearently is not willing to confuse that matter, but also doesn't become the great solver of all problems at all times, as He appearently doesn't seem fitting.

The major hierarchy in great badness, and about the major financial, religeous and powerquestion in systems which one day will be the actual new babylon when all such evil will during the great tribulation according to what John has been made aware of through Jesus, of 7 years, will be joined together with all fake religions of the world with that great whore from rome, and until that time, the beastly constructions and that system and its going-to-be parts, and the abusive rituals and secret clubs who want their share of what God didn't even give the former, that they would rule in His place, seemingly with His consent that they do what they do, is a major, highly unpleasant and unacceptable factor in this world, of which christians, either believers or regenerated persons taking serious what the Holy Spirit makes clear, should become holy straight away as much as they can, and of which we are supposed to win, in other words be victurious over. Then again, at certain points, there was only one Luther, or Calvin, and at other points, it must have been clear that being hippie itself wouldn't solve much, even when one wouldn't be in the great industry or money or business moloch, and preserve the environment. And the kinds of doubtlessly to evil too describe tortures and wrape and ritual killings and dutroux cellars Vietnam must have hosted probably should not have stayed militarily unbeaten like the japanese were retributed for their war acts and won of.

The victory of the modern maybe sort of athena like the statue of liberty over the evil human ways to be associated with a cities' blessing instead of curse seems worth while serious consideration and work.