Theo Verelst Diary Page

Thu may 31, 2001

I've decided after good example to write some diary pages with toughts and events.

Oh, in case anybody fails to understand, I'd like to remind them that these pages are copyrighted, and that everything found here may not be redistributed in any other way then over this direct link without my prior consent. That includes family, christianity, and other cheats. The simple reason is that it may well be that some people have been ill informed because they've spread illegal 'copies' of my materials even with modifications. Apart from my moral judgement, that is illegal, and will be treated as such by me. Make as many references to these pages as you like, make hardcopies, but only of the whole page, including the html-references, and without changing a iota or tittel...

And if not? I won't hesitate to use legal means to correct wrong that may be done otherwise. And I am serious. I usually am. I'm not sure I could get 'attempt to grave emotional assault' out of it, but infrigement on copyright rules is serious enough. And Jesus called upon us to respect the authorities of state, so christians would of course never do such a thing. Lying, imagine that.

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Thu may 31, 2001, 13:32pm

I have 20 minutes at this point, so just some notes I think are worth sharing.

Social Observations

Yesterday late I was (still) reading quite a bit in the nanobio area, amoung other things brain research not just on rats and pigeons, which seems to suggest there are neurons in the visual motion detection area which thusfar can not be found to correlate a motion direction tested in their visual stimuli set, but also about sheep, and the effect of certain parts of their forbrain associated with social behaviour.

I'm not positively sure about the (historic) knowledge about special characteristics of sheep possibly having led to the particular choice in certain comparisons in the bible, but in the experiment, it seems the social behaviour in terms of recognition of the young of a mother was tested. It seems that humans in some social - connected brain areas have far less development than other mamals. I've mainly looked at sheep and found them look back sort of, stupid, sheepish (in dutch that's a double meaning, I'm sure), funny because they seem to have a mind of their own about it, sort of

When I observe various relations and social ungoings, I see possible forebodes of behaviour that unfortunately sets us quite apart from average and extreme (or lets call them new for the sake of argument, like in commercials) chimpansees.

In the past and more recently at times, I've met some that are capable and have to some extend be willing to exhibit and to some extend stay with behaviour that is the opposite, which I think is more along the lines of possible human behaviour that is worth striving for. I usually have assumed that some that I might like have such thinking as fundamental idea quite present in themselves, or why else would I bother, and I in normal life would not see much reason for otherwise.

Of course the last years I've been quite confronted with the idea that some are willing to go quite far to actually be against such idea, in practice, while it mainly costs them, and while it achieves nothing much worth while temporarily or in the end, and of course have been aware of clear causes having to do with differences of opinion and simply different truths concerning faith, or lets say the spiritual and who is considered God.

I think certain circumstances I see certain people in may well be the direct reason and cause for them to be (in my former opinion) limited, somewhat strange, unwilling to arrive at desirable relations, double, unclear, distant, extremely clearly unreal for some unclear reason, or in other ways not acceptable for what they sometimes maybe did want to suggest to be.

Some that have been willing and sometimes effectively been against such circumstances may have had a lot harder time than I have imagined, and considering I've filled megabytes about the ideas in the in my opinion wrong direction, at least some that for good reasons have done effort should not remain unmentioned as such. (more later)

Fri Jun 1, 2001, 13:26pm

Continuation of the above, and some remarks about the things I've looked at in the medical library, in addition to the nanopage.

Social observations continued

It has not been my conviction that the natural deprivaty of man and the presence of sin in this world must unavoidedly lead to only misery and the impossibility to lead at least a reasonably normal life. It still isn't realy, though I think getting back at some of the convictions I quite firmly held in mind it must probably be noticed that mainly the good in this world has its origins with the God that indeed is (or can be) that, and nothing much else, which in some ways makes the whole of not necessarily christian tainted life dependent on His mercy. In spirit, I don't think it is possible to lead a very fullfilled or pleasant life without the Holy Spirit having some impact, even when not in person, directly, and the combination of these factors without question is a part of the plan God has with his creation, first with the jews, and now also with the gentiles.

Assuming God, and forms of religion that seriously occupy themselves with Him, and primarily persons that have the priviledge of having been found by Him, are relevant in this way in pretty much all that supercedes lets say the snakes and the monkeys, it is imperative that we are aware of who He is and what He wants if we want the better parts. And not in lies but in truth, and most likely we can not trust parties that may easily gain on us for such information when there is no reason to assume they will wish us any good.

It is quite possible that some I've met in the past have acted out of faith considerations or being led, which for some severe problems may even the only way to arrive at something good, though I think I'd prefer to see personal life as potentially free-er than requiring direct interfearing of the Holy Spirit, though on the other hand it is not hard to imagine he can interfear much with the lifes He makes or saves Himself without going wrong or making undesirable limitations.

I'm sure that for some with extremely difficult backgrounds it must have been hard work to make certain paths in life that has been so controlled and messed up by evil parties.


Thinking about my whereabouts and the insane reasons for it, I have thoughts ranging from serious to making fun, and practicalities to theological, political and phylosophical theories. Maybe I should get a non-reliability report (sort of the reverse of a non-jew statement, I'm not sure the teachers' guild in holland would award me a star for it) statement first, and a roller with a 666 barcode stamp for skin use (of the abrasable kind, of course) first, and enrol in the casino of life reversals to test my chances, I guess that would make some authorities more pleased. Sorry, no can do, have to uphold the constitution and basic human rights and stuff. And prevent bank booths from linking my payroad data with reading my barcode and considering me past expiration date.

Or be a neat civilian and get a decent job... Hopefully that will work, at least. What am I, too ambitious, or not enough? To extreme in my religeous views? Guess not, politically difficult? Without question my problem isn't just one Brutus and not being in place where such officially matters.

As I wrote before, when I was 22 or so I already had a job where I made the thousands per week or so (equivalent) I'd prefer to make now for some time, so there is no good reason to assume such isn't in order now, to serve a few good purposes, and just writing some lame or not software, or whatever else won't do much harm in general, I'm sure. I guess the whole money thing is at stake here. I was reading about the history of money yesterday, in europe, from roman days, over middle ages, the rothshields, and beyond (didn't read much yet), and of course I'm aware of the quite major roman paternal inheritance rules, the religious claims entering the money scene, the rediscovery of the countervalue of gold for valuables, the subsequent blowing up of the link and arrival of value papers and paper money, the miseries of war and their financing, and the formation of modern state forms and laws. Needless to say that certain thinking and people would be quite a cause of the same crisis that hit the world 2/3 century ago, when things are implemented according to their probably demonicaly inspired life rules. And that I didn't like building I coincidently (? at least as far as I was concerned) parked in front of in basel, rasing at least one strong reaction at the time (for me it just was a parking space), housing the kind that set the european exchange rates, almost singehandedly. I guess the Euro at least tops that of.

I guess I'm lucky enough being white, blond (blue eyed?) and of official dutch origin, and top edified, and all that (healty), though I wonder how lucky one has to be to live free enough. I'm sure I'm an exception in terms of how much dust and worse I can raise in certain areas, but when I already get such counter forces wanting to live even normal enough, how is that for the 'average majority' or at least some portion not wanting to create and live in the misery I obeserve regularly in some ways ?

I'm sure final judgement hasn't been, so one cannot assume that Gids damnation at any point and for anyone matches sin and badness levels at all, but certain forms of damnations must be his for such reasons, and I'm strongly inclined to think that quite some unnormalities are the result of him letting people not live right and merced enough. No reason to share the damnation when there is no reason, and especially for some reason to at least learn to understand there is one, and that He can give life in other ways, that are historically and geographically known, through mercy or condonance or otherwise. For some that could be quite good news, though certain lies are quit strong and may well prevent ackownledgement of such without active explanation. Proposterous? Look around you, where I regularly am, and what I often pick up, that is proposterous. And stupid, not even treacherous or greedy or effective for enrichment, just plain stupid, with or without stupid doctrines as legitimation or explanation. Gods' way?

I was reading in a collection of 'keyboard' magazine articles about main synthesizer developments and their carriers such as Carlos, Emmerson, Moog, the real ones, lets say, and I read that I think it was for the movie star wars or another famous science fiction movie, the soundtrack for the moving of the space ships was made by taking the recorded sound of a Michelin blimp (from what I know one of those large zeppelins still flying in I think the US), pitching it down, and applying a chorus effect to it. It also seems that the laser gun sound effects were quite hard to get right, and required quite some synth programming and producer considerations to get right.

Today I saw a little movie of a cell kind that propels its own motion by lets call them hairs on its surface, and at some point it struck me that it gave the impression of a space ship in some docking situation propelling itself slowly.

Check out the nanobio page

I've updated the neurobiology page which is worth a look, I've also added some links to little movies about various cell processes, which examplify what I've been thinking and writing about.

What I didn't go into yet are the real points in some of the recent articles much, and most general 'encyclopical' sections are mainly keywords, though I did do quite some reading the area. I found some sites with some pictures, I might sit down with some textbooks and make an overview. Wanna buy the page yet?

In the articles, detailed behaviour of the potential across the neuron membrane is described under various exitatons, and for instane oscilations under membrane inversing levels are described, indicating neurons show neuronal behaviour also when not explicitly fireing, and of possible significant nature, and the way various effects are described are signal-like.